Cis or Trans
I for many years had thoughts of wanting to transition into being a woman. The thing is I want to live both lives. I deep down really want to be a woman but also deep down I want to live as a father. I understand the reproductive preservation methods, but I want to live as a father with a loving wife and maybe a daughter. I also understand that once someone has transitioned long enough that the possibility of sex drive and switching to liking the sex you were born as is a thing. I'm really conflicted. I was content for a day. Said it back to myself, nothing. I then after an entire night just started shaking and a voice just kept saying just do it just do it.
Hello @MaxZombie
It sounds like you are questioning your gender. This can be a distressing process, so I don't blame you for feeling this way. I'm really glad you are seeking help with this though! Thank you for being here :) Figuring out your gender is difficult. Only you know what you are. No one can tell you what your identity is or how to present it. Remember though that coming out is not a race. You have your whole life ahead of you to figure this out. You don't even have to use labels if you don't want to. You are allowed to just be. You mentioned that you have considered transitioning medically before. How would you feel about discussing this with a gender therapist? They might be able to help you outline your transition goals and figure out what your identity is. There are also many resources online that you might find helpful. Here are some resources on gender identity and transitioning/dysphoria you might find helpful.