Confusion
I’ve been struggling with my identity for over a year, I go by they\them but also she\her with close friends. I really struggle because I go through little phases of masculinity and then feminine again, I’ve cut my hair to my shoulders multiple times due to this but there’s a part of me that wants to cut my hair short like a boy like that fluffy hair cut. But I also have feminine phases so I think I’d regret it. It’s so confusing changing every two days. I’m also Bisexual so. Extra confusion.
@ThatAvocadoCat
Hey, it's totally okay that your identity is feeling fluid right now! Some people find that they have a fluid phase and then decide to transition, for some people the fluid phase IS the transition! Does that make sense? There's no right way to be trans/non-binary. I've been transitioned for 8 years and its been one of the most fulfilling things I've ever done. And I've encountered so many fantastic gender-fluid people along the way with great hearts and commitment to loving themselves. Just feel it out and dont be afraid to try something new with a trusted friend. Maybe try he/him while you're feeling in a masculine zone? Or try changing your clothes in some way when you feel different gender feelings coming on. Remember, loving yourself is the most radical thing any LGBTQ+ person can do!
-Punkfan0208
@Punkfan0208 Thank you! I'll keep trying and maybe I'll do the he\him thing!
@ThatAvocadoCat
I'm really sorry you're dealing with that! Gender presentation can be horribly confusing, but try to approach it with curiosity: there's really nothing wrong with changing it whenever you feel like it, since people never stop developing. Your identity is whatever you make of it, and you don't need to label anything if you don't want to.
Re: more long term things like haircuts--I know people who've gone for compromises, like getting an undercut or tying their hair up when they're feeling more masc, or balancing it out with clothing. Really though, men and women all throughout history have maintained incredibly varied norms for expected hair styles. Long can be masc and short can be femme, and hair usually grows back. Wish you luck on your decision-making!
It's good that you're trying to listen to all parts of yourself, though--I hope the exploration gets less distressing in the future.