Pls help me

i think you should test the waters first about the concept of being trans and gender identity to him. Such as bringing up news or a character who is trans. Like an indirect way to get his opinion and get him used to the idea before going all in? I know it’s not the best but it’s a good first step to try to see where he stands in beliefs on trans people and being a positive source of knowledge about trans people to him if it is his first time hearing about trans people. ^^ I hope it goes well and he accepts you when you do come out. I’m here if you ever need to talk or vent!

I definitely agree with the notion of testing the waters with your dad. You could maybe pose hypothetical questions without being too obvious the questions are being asked for your sake. Maybe tell him a story about someone who came out to their family or something like that, get his take on it.

I posed those questions to my parents, and while their response was definitely not the greatest thing to hear as they expressed they would not be very accepting, it at least didn’t suggest to them that I was asking for my situation. My situation is probably different than yours, as I already had this feeling that before I asked about it, that they’d disapprove. But that’s because they are fundamentalists so I didn’t have my hopes up high. I still don’t, I’m honestly probably about to be completely disowned once I come out to my family—I know my mom will be extremely upset because she always doted on me and my sister like we’re her dolls, so this ain’t looking too great lol.

I understand your unwillingness to disappoint your dad though. Honestly I’m sure it’s hard for any parent to see their child change in such a major way. But if he really loves you, then he’ll accept it. Whatever you do, be safe and only do what you feel comfortable doing in your situation. I’m only making peace with the idea of being estranged from my family because I’m an adult no longer dependent on them. Not to suggest that the same thing could happen to you, I don’t know your situation like you do. But im wishing you the best and I hope you can get a favorable response! :)

Hi Ray!

Im a trans woman who is mtf , they / she and I’m currently 16 but nearly 17. I can relate to you as when I was born my mum wanted a boy , but I haven’t came out to her yet and my parents are strict so I also would feel worried to come out. But as others said totally test the waters! In my college I came out online to some of my friends and they respected me. To make you feel better you could always write a journal or poem about how you feel , or come out to friends and family who are around your age. My dad doesn’t know I’m trans either , but I plan to come out to him when I move out. Even though it’s sad it will make me feel better. If you want to come out to your dad though , try to explain how you’ve felt for a very long time and all the rest , only if you’re comfortable to , remember there is no pressure and it takes time. , I hope it works out happy for you ❤️

• Laphne