im jealous of cis guys (ftm 14)
i started highschool recently and my dysphoria is at an all time low. im constantly surrounded by cis guys who have everything i want, and im jealous. im jealous that they have a flat chest, a deep voice, height, and facial hair. i keep getting reffered to with my dead name/fem pronouns and i hate it.
recently i started wear a binder i havent worn often because it has a rip in it. it has started causing be back and breathing. i hate it. im losing hope in medically transitioning because of what’s happening in my state (US).
TLDR: im jealous of cis guys and dont know how to cope with dysphoria.
@TransmascTommy
Dysphoria can definitely lead to a lot of hard feelings including jealousy toward those who have what we feel we are lacking. As for deadnaming/misusing pronouns, I take it you are out to your peer group? How do you handle it when they use the wrong name/pronouns?
You mention the discomfort caused by a binder, I know binding has a lot of potential health risks if you don't have a binder that fits properly etc. If it's restricting your breathing and causing pain that's often a sign that it isn't a good fit or that you are wearing it for too long etc. Have you done any research about binding safely? I know it can be a lot to take in and sometimes the dysphoria makes it harder to follow the safer binding practices.
As for ongoing political climates and access to transitioning, it can be very disheartening and make coping with gender dysphoria even harder. What goals do you have for yourself with respect to transitioning? If it isn't possible in your state, what other options might you be able to consider or explore?
