How to deal with close ppl misgendering you
Hello. Im a trans guy. I came out as trans reallyyyy long ago, but my family keeps misgendering me. I only got 1 supportive person which is my sister. She tries to use my right pronouns but she still doesn't see me as a guy. She makes this big difference between me and guys. She also puts me to girls in her head idk how to explain but it's not hard to tell. (She also this "every guy is x BUT NOT U you are different...). It was really hard to realize because we are sooo close to eachother our entire lifetime because our childhood wasn't easy. Everytime i try to confront her she just deny it and Is avoidant. So Im wondering how to deal with that. If my family would be other ppl i just easily could break contact but I can't now because it's my family. I can't change how they see me...sadly... if they see me as a girl then they see me as a girl. I already gave up on my mom or brother.. but now it's my sister too. : ( it's so bad for my mental health because lately my dysphoria got 10 times worse and I can't deal with it anymore because I don't get the help I need.
I wonder what I have to do to finally be seen as a boy. Thank you sm for reading.
@communicativeApple9560 Hey. I'm so sorry this has happen to you. My family is similar. Although it sucks, I feel like the negative feedback has actually made me embrace myself more. I'm nonbinary. I would prefer to be seen as female and feminine if that were ultimately my choice. I get really bad dysphoria sometimes. I have many friends who I'm open with and hey accept me which I love. Yet it's still a daily struggle.
Be yourself. Worry less about how others feel. If they can't see your happiness and joy that isn't your fault.
Hello thank you so much for your help and for being understanding. reading that helped its really nice. I'll try to worry less how others feel : )
@communicativeApple9560 You're welcomed :)
@communicativeApple9560
I'm really sorry you are dealing with this, especially with your family and your sister who you feel close to. You have a family with us who are also trans and part of the 2slgbtqia+ community.
Being transgender is a pretty big part of who you are so it really hurts when the people closest to you can't seem to see and understand it.
It's very hard for people who aren't trans, or who don't seek out to support and understand them to really grasp how it feels or what it means to be transgender. They allign with their own gender so it doesn't make a lot of sense to them naturally, and they are somewhat endocrined to believe gender and gender identity is solely based on physical characterists and how society lables it.
There is also a lot of really awful information and hate towards the transgender community which can fuel some of that misunderstanding and critism.
Not everyone can or will be accepting or try to understand, and it's really difficult and hurtful especially when it's your own family or people closest to you that you rely on or trust the most.
It's really important to reach out for support. If you think there is a chance your family can or is willing to support and understand you, see if you can make some time to tell them how you feel. Tell them you feel like you aren't seen as a real man, and it hurts you, and what being a man means to you and what they can do to help you feel supported.
If it's possible, you may benefit from counselling provided in your area specifically for the family of transgender people, it may help to have that professional support.
Otherwise, it is possible your gender identity may not be something they can fully understand and support you with, and you truly deserve people in your life who see you as valid and for who you are.
I hope this helps a bit, you are truly amazing, I am so proud of you, and I really wish the best for you.
