I can't go outside without crying and feel terrible anymore

I've so baddddd extrem dysphoria I can't deal with it but I'm forced to go outside. My family wants to go outside today but I feel terrible with doing that because I can't enjoy it I'm really depressed because of it and then I get mad comments of my mom asking why I look so depressed. I just want to be cis and it's summer and I'm sweating because I have to hide myself. I don't wanna be trans I can't do that anymore.