I’m confused with my identity
So, I’ve been questioning this for a couple years now, I’m a straight cis girl, but sometimes other girls look hot, but I could never see myself sexually with one, and there are moments where I feel like a guy, like anatomy and all, but no matter what I’m still attracted to guys romantically and sexually. 90% of the time I still feel like a girl, but there’s just that 10% that has me confused, because the 10% is guy but I still 100% like guys sexually no matter what, and there’s also a romantic attraction that’s like 80-20 guy to girl, and I’m just so confused. I don’t know if there’s a label for this or not, but I’m hoping to find out, closest I saw to this was demigirl, but it just doesn’t feel quite right?
Hi! I'm a (mostly) straight cis girl and I feel the same way. I am by no means an expert (as I've only felt this way for a few years but truly thought about it for maybe a couple of years to 3).
I'd say that's about the same ratio for me as well (80% men to 20% women). The closest term I've found for it is Heteroflexible. Wikipedia defines it as, "A form of a sexual orientation or situational sexual behavior characterized by minimal homosexual activity in an otherwise primarily heterosexual orientation."
I hope this helps!
Thank you! This honestly helps out a lot, although I’m still a bit confused with my gender identity, but it’s a good start to figuring everything out :)
@ReinaLevi54
While having a label for what we feel can sometimes help with validation and understanding ourselves, there aren't always labels that fit perfectly.
I like to focus on labels as a way to describe myself to others rather than something that defines who I am, so they don't have to fit perfectly just give a general sense of what I feel others need to know. But here are some other topics or labels you might find helpful (or not).
First, when it comes to attraction, I like to also remember that sexual attraction and romantic attraction don't always line up perfectly. Someone may feel romantically attracted to one gender, and sexually attracted to another. A person might be a "biromantic heterosexual" indicating they feel romantically attracted to two or more genders, but only experience sexual attraction to the opposite sex. Separating out sexual and romantic attraction can be helpful in understanding ourselves at times, but I also find that with sexual attraction we may also need to consider how we were socialized to feel about sex itself because that can complicate our own understanding of any attraction we experience.
You also mentioned some questioning regarding your gender identity, and that it seems to fluctuate, you may find terms like genderflux or genderfluid would be more fitting to your situation, but only you can truly decide what labels are right for you. This thread has more info about gender identity you might find helpful.
Thank you for sharing your experience with us, hopefully you can find answers that feel right for you.
❤️🧡💛💚💙💜
