Invisible and rejected.
1.I'm taking IELTS exam next week and now couldn't study in the morning, idk why but I guess I'm freezed, mostly start my days with profound sadness then I really trying to come back to my daily routine in the afternoon, this might be because the rejection that I had received from a university which my partner got admitted there a week ago. Idk why it happened to me, now doesn't matter but I've studied a lot, and my gpa was much more higher than him, I'm really happy for him and couldn't say how I feel terrible about my self. Since then I really think that I'm not enough and treat myself as a trash. Unfortunately There are some friends that could help me but they are all busy with their life.
2. I have to use she/her in IELTS exam but I prefer they/them and that's make me crazy, and almost all of the people I've known are transphobe, I really feel bad. Like being invisible and rejected from everywhere. I wish I could live in a place better than middle east.
@reservedEast5020 Don't easily deny yourself to believe that you are the best, I can see that you have been working hard, this will certainly pay off, sooner or later. Don't waste time in useless places, don't let yourself regret later, so happy to do what you like, you will succeed, come on.