Married bi, maybe gay?
Married male here.bive known I've been atleast bi since I was a child. Wife knows I'm bi as is she (both closeted). As I've evolved over the years I've wondered if I was with girls just to keep up with social and religious norms and am I really gay. As a kid I was always attracted to the handsome men in movies. Going to school even in 1st grade I remember having a crush on other male school mates.
95% of the porn I watch is gay. But something is holding me back and I just don't know what. I do find women attractive for sure. My mind is just jumbled. Feel free to comment on here message me directly.
@Jimmy3035
hey Jimmy. I can feel for you, I am in a similar boat. I'm not married and not openly gay or bi. I do like women, but I am definitely turned on by men. I've had bad experience growing up by being rejected by girls time and again, and I wonder if that kind of pushed me away. I am working through my issues with a therapist, but we haven't even touched on that subject yet, so I am curious to get more insight. I think at the end of the day, I don't really care about a label, but I would like to get some understanding for myself to be able to move on with my life and stop wondering. At this time, I can't really see myself in a sexual relationship with a woman, and tbh I am not sure about men either, but at least I can imagine it.
Hi Jimmy,
let me note that love is usually more than just "crushes", romance, and sexual attraction. And it is also fair to guess that everyone perceives it differently. You also haven't mentioned anything regarding your current relationship – i.e. situations where you'd be "mostly" gay but found yourself a fitting wife, or that you were still heteroromantic, are on the table. There are many possible other explanations for your conflicted feelings.You mention something is holding you back – from what? Exploring more? What would change if you labeled yourself differently? It's not like your past life wouldn't suddenly be valid.
Good luck figuring things out!
Mel