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Suggestions on making my relationship more gender neutral

User Profile: hibob2213
hibob2213 June 20th, 2023

Hello! I am bisexual and non-binary and currently in a relationship with a straight, cisgender man. I feel like he passively accepts my identities, but I want him to show more support. He’s taken lots of big steps (going to pride for the first time, trying to stray away from feminine nicknames for me, etc.) but I feel like he isn’t an ally. I’ve considered asking him to refer to me only as his partner to others instead of girlfriend, but I’m not sure how he would react to that. I’ve been thinking about pronouns too. I currently use she/they, but I don’t think he quite understands that the “she” part is so I’ll be accepted by everyone and the “they” part is what I really want people to use. I’m the only person in my friend group going through this, so I don’t necessarily have anyone else to consult. We have been in a relationship for 4+ years now, so I’m not totally worried that asking him to make these small changes would drastically disrupt our connection. It’s more like I want him to accept me and see me how I see myself, but I’m not too sure he wants to or ever could. Anyway, I hope this makes sense. All comments, feedback, and suggestions are welcomed and sincerely appreciated. Thank you!

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User Profile: beesbeesuwu
beesbeesuwu June 26th, 2023

@hibob2213

try and use names other then "partner" you could say "my bubble" or "my special one" you can still make a partner feel special without using gendered language.