Dealing with feelings for a straight friend

Hello all! I’m new here and hopefully doing this right. My name is Jake (37m he/him). So where to start? I have a friend who is my best friend, basically my brother. When we first met, I didn’t have any interest in him, but about 3 years into the friendship, I started developing feelings for him. 9 years later, they are still there. Some extra details about myself: In 2019 I had gastric sleeve surgery. I suffer from depression and anxiety, treat it with medication and therapy. I’m gay, but not out. Religiously, I can’t act on that part of myself. I know all the comments that go with that statement, and I truly appreciate it, but that’s not the issue. Back to my friend. Before my surgery, I was able to keep my feelings for him in check. Like I said, he is like my brother. He has legit saved my life when I tried to commit suicide. He is always there for me, in his own way. He is very straight. He is aware of my feelings, but never has made me feel bad about them or taken advantage of them. To clarify, there zero chance there. Before my surgery and 2020, I really had the emotions in check. But now they are all consuming. I think about him constantly, and now to make matters worse, he just started speaking to a girl. I don’t want give up the friendship, I want him to be happy in the possible new relationship, support him and be there for him. But the anxiety and thinking is killer. Any suggestions? Thank you all!