I might be trans... Looking for advice - support
Hi, I’m 19 and I’ve been feeling really confused about my gender identity lately. I’ve questioned my gender on and off for years, but recently it’s been more intense and consistent. I’ve realized a lot of things that make me think there’s a strong possibility I might be trans.
I’m still trying to figure things out and I’m not sure what my next steps should be or how to feel more certain. I’d really love to connect with people who’ve had similar experiences or who are further along in their journey.
Feel free to comment or message me if you’re open to talking 🤍
@straightforwardPenny1749
not trans BUT have many trans pals and gals..mostly gals
what would you like to talk about ,i know a thing or two or could like ask them
@scorpionpolktanktree Thank you for replying! I'm actually most curious about whether I should go to a psychologist or a psychiatrist first to figure things out. Obviously both would be the best option but I can't afford that rn so I would like to know which is better to make the first steps towards figuring out if I truly am trans. Cheers!
@straightforwardPenny1749
as far as i see first the psychologist to like see how they can help without meds and what not , after all there will be a time when you take estrogen and progestrone and what not that might interfere with meds
but even looking at the here and now ,its a good first step to see if everything is ok with you and plan with them goals and what not
@scorpionpolktanktree That's what I thought. Thank you for sharing your opinion that's really helpful.
@straightforwardPenny1749
no problem good luck
and i will still be here if you have more questions
honestly i thought you had more to ask like
what is best way to take E ,basic youtube channel to help voice train with or what to do on those days
anyway ,there is a large redidt ,youtube and *** communities for you to turn to for resources and help if you wnat
just keep being you and have fun
@scorpionpolktanktree Thanks again for reaching out!
I didn't wanna bother you furthermore especially because of the large community and resources I have access to.
However if I think of more questions later I'll definitely ask. Farewell.
@straightforwardPenny1749
Hi Penny, I'm glad you had the courage to question and have introspection. I'm 39 now and I didn't really ever ever question my own gender until I was 28 or so. I'm out as non-binary now with a massive beard & always in a dress.
The thing I think that is most important in the journey isnt just introspection, but situational awareness. We live in a world that's actively punishing trans people for existing. The US Government's official position is we don't exist and we might be labeled terrorists by the end of the year.
Just being aware there are a lot of incentives in society to hold you back, errod support, and outright violence. These triggers and harm are probably the main reason you are holding back experimenting with different gender expressions.
Imagine we live in a world, were every trans person was celebrated. Where coming out was like a medal ceremony, and everyone stood up an gave you a standing ovation. Would you have already came out in this type of world???
It's mostly just a thought experiment around belonging and support systems. And recognizing if they are or are not there? We make a lot of decisions based on safety & belonging.
I believe in you and you'll figure out the best path for yourself.
@Nikklas Hello Nikklas! Thank you so much for sharing your experience. I really appreciate your kindness and the perspective you offered.
I actually think that “society” is one of the biggest things holding me back. If we lived in a world like the one you described, where trans people were celebrated and supported, I think I would feel a huge sense of relief. I wouldn’t be so afraid to experiment and see what actually makes me feel like myself.
The truth is that I really like the idea of being a woman and being able to express myself that way. But there are so many fears and potential consequences that make it hard to even let myself explore that possibility. That’s where a lot of my confusion comes from.
Lately I’ve been feeling a lot of anxiety because I keep thinking about two possibilities: what might happen if I am trans, and also what might happen if I am and I never allow myself to live that way. It’s something that’s been on my mind almost constantly.
Thank you again for reaching out it really means a lot. I wish you the best as well.
@straightforwardPenny1749
Thanks for the positive feedback. I wanted to ask you something: do you own any dresses or clothes you’ve thought about wearing, or maybe makeup you’ve wanted to try? I ask because it can be part of “coming out to yourself.” If the outside world doesn’t feel very safe or supportive, experimenting in private can actually be really validating.
The idea is simple. When you’re at home, try living the way a woman would for a bit. Put on the clothes, try the makeup, see how it feels. Everything can be ordered online now, so you don’t have to deal with the discomfort of going into a department store if that feels like too much.
Honestly, I still struggle with that part myself. I’m very masculine-presenting in my face and shoulders, so trying on dresses in stores is still pretty hard for me.
Just a suggestion. It’s one way to explore things and experiment a bit without the social risk.