Internalized Homophobia
This year, I got into a good private school. Unfortunately, it's Christian, there's a GSA here so I guess it's okay. At the same time, I see people getting teased for being gay or being bullied. This is the first time I've really been in the closet, I came out really early in elementary school and everyone knew what I was in middle school. This is actually refreshing, because for once I don't have to deal with homophobes, a few people in my friend circle know what i am. Sometimes I wish this would stay this way forever, I know there's nothing wrong with me but lots of people think otherwise.
Hello @kafkawalks
I understand what you saying. While it is nice being out of the closet, being in it and flying under bullys' radars is nice as well. There is nothing wrong with wanting to hide for the sake of your safety. If there are people at your school who will hurt you, physically or emotionally, then there is nothing wrong with staying in the closet. I'm glad you are prioritizing your safety and I'm sorry you are in a homophobic environment <3 Remember, high school is not forever. Eventually, you will graduate and will be able to leave this environment. Feel free to message me if you want to chat about this <3
@SnailPurple I know high school isn't forever, but homophobia has always existed. I just wish, that I could feel okay about what I am.
@kafkawalks
I understand that feeling. I promise one day you will love yourself, even if that seems impossible now. Try to remember that you are perfectly fine and there is nothing wrong with being gay or who you are <3