Looking for advice
Here’s my Story. I have known my whole life that I was attracted to both men and women. I had a stronger attraction to men but always dated women because I was taught that was the correct thing to do. Long story short I got married and had twin boys. In the midst of all that I made a friend. This friend was supposed to be just a hook up but one thing led to another and we became best friends. He became family attending family functions everything. He is also married, his wife had a stroke at a young age and she allows him to have this relationship with me. I went through a long depression, lying to myself thinking that if I did what god wanted me to do that it would go away. I’ve learned that it never goes away. This man and myself are in love. He occasionally has a threesome with my wife and I. She knows about us and we have a schedule that we follow. However lately my love has grown stronger for him and my feelings for her are diminishing. What do I do? How do I make things better? Her and him are good friends and love each other but there is so much jealously between the two of them that it’s destroying me.
@Jj224
I'm sorry I cannot offer any real advice for your situation. It seems you've spent a lot of time communicating and trying to balance the feelings you are having for your friend, your wife, and be respectful to everyone in the situation, but the various relationship dynamics involved have become a seemingly impossible balancing act for you.
When our feelings shift or change, it often leads to changes in our relationships and sadly not always for the better. Further it sounds like right now there are a lot of different things you want and are trying to balance, but that some of the things you want are in conflict with other things you want, or are things outside of your control. Does that sound accurate?
I find taking time to really and fully consider all the different wants, how to achieve them, being realistic about what is possible, recognizing where there may need to be trade offs, and exploring how you might cope with what that will mean can be helpful when facing such a complex situation with so many different feelings. Even if only by showing us what we want most.
With so many people impacted by this, and so many different feelings to consider, I hope you are able to find what will work best for you and those you love and care about.