Confused
Hi. New here. Looking for friendly advice, questioning sexuality. So confused. I have had relationships only due to the pressure to do “normal” things. I have never felt “head over heels for someone. Not sure if I’m attracted to men or women. I feel like I have a general distrust of men which would make a relationship with a man very difficult. I definitely feel more at ease around women. There is a lot of self judgement because I’m 30 and dont know who I’m attracted to. I am very introverted and deal with severe anxiety and panic attacks, so it’s near impossible to meet people, wouldn’t even know where to start meeting women. I know my family would not be supportive of any relationship outside of the “norm.” I don’t feel like home is an environment where I can discuss these things. I want to know how I will know I’m into women? I do long for that companionship, I desperately want to find the “one.” I want a family. I feel ridiculous, I feel like I should know these things about myself. I was taught at a young age to be seen and not heard, not to show any emotion-good or bad. I’m so confused and would welcome any advice or words of encouragement. 😁
@BlueMoon3773
I know it's hard to find a relationship, especially when you're older and believe you don't know yourself. I can relate to that.
Sexuality is a thing for everyone to explore on their own, at any age, and it's influenced by a plethora of factors. Try researching on the internet and ask questions about yourself. Try talking to someone who has the same sexuality you are questioning yourself for, they might help, or at least point to the next direction you'll be taking. It's your own journey nonetheless, as well as a journey of acceptance, and you need to work on your insecurities towards men as well. Are they reasonable? Did something traumatic or hurtful happened for you to fear men, or did you form an opinion based on how men treated you in your daily life and/or you heard other women being treated? I know it is not easy, having straight relationships might help in your sexuality journey.
I really wish this helped, and I wish you best of luck.
~Aqua
It’s over to still be figuring out who you are! Try not to be to hard on yourself. Also usually family will come around. Mine were extremely upset when I came out but eventually they accepted it. Good luck!
Hi I’m a 29yo female and I can relate to your situation in some ways . I can relate especially when you say you have a general distrust of men and are more comfortable around women. However wouldnt be supported by your family in an “out of the norm” relationship. That you cant discuss things at home and are introverted. I’m happy to talk you at more length about my experiences to see if that will help?
