Confused and scared
Hello! I am new to this community, and I'm looking for an ear to hear my concerns. The issue that I am having is with my current partner. We have been together for two years. The first year was amazing. Then with pressure from work and going back to get a masters degree, things started to get in the way. Their anxiety went through the roof. We became more and more distant. Over the last couple of months, when they describe our relationship to people, they say that we are just two girls, best friends, living life and supporting one another. Emphasis on the friends. We have recently had conversations where they have told me that they dont want a relationship but that they also love living life together. They told me the other day that they would understand if I started dating someone else, but that they would be hurt if i told them. I'm over here just wanting to be with them. I love them so deeply that i cannot explain it. They have also said that since yelling people that we are just friends as opposed to being in a relationship that they feel much better. That stems from living in the bible belt and fearing the reactions of family if they were to find out. She said that as long as people on the outside know one thing, what we do in the comfort and security of our own home is our business. I feel like there is hope. I want there to be. I love life with her
Hello, welcome to the LGBT+ community on 7cups. Its difficult to have to keep a relationship with someone you love a secret because society isn't accepting of two girls being together romantically. It sounds that on some level, she may want to protect you both from hate crimes and alienation from closed minded people. Its clear she cares about you and she seems to feel unsure about if she can be brave enough to come out so being with her would ultimately mean continuing to stay secretive or in the closet.
I hope you can talk to her about things more and find out her motivations, see if she really wants you to move on from seeing her romantically. I'm glad you had a wonderful first year together although its sad when great things don't last... Seems like she values the friendship and friendship is a very meaningful connection to.
Whatever you choose to do, I hope you know that attraction to other women is valid and you seem like a great person who just wants to be happy with someone they really love. Sending luck and I hope things work out in your best interest!