Feelings for "straight" bff
Need advise! I have strong feelings for my straight co worker/bff! We are so close that everyone thinks we're a couple. My family, her family, friends, mutual friends even co workers have said it. Im sure I have feelings for her I have just not expressed them until recently when jealosy triggered me to kind of tell her. Only, I didn't ask her how she felt. She also knew I liked her over a year ago when a friend of ours told her. She responded w she is in a relationship (she was at the time) and that she saw me as a sister. After that I kind of felt sad ofcourse n was going to pull away but instead she got closer! She wanted to spend so much time w me, did alot together that both our exes where jealous of our relationship. We drunkenly kind of hooked up too couple of months ago. Knowing I want her she would do things to tease me.
Things go well between us for the most part but sometimes it's like she pulls away and tells me about others that are interested in her. I have to listen to all this n act like I don't care when really it makes me feel jealous. I really like her and care for her. Want to make her happy and feel good. But I also sometimes want to pull back and let my feelings subside so I can be a normal real friend. It's hard tho. Has anyone been thru this? How can I make her talk about us. She has lately been making me aware of others who have called us lesbians. But our conversations get nowhere. I'm shy when it comes to this and it's hard for me to express myself. I want to open up to her and talk about all this. Should I pull back? Should I pursue? If so how?
@shycaligrl hey dear. it sounds like its a very confusing situation for you, and I understand it would be confusing with all these mixed signals and this back and forth going on. I feel like you kind of answered your question if you should confront her yourself by mentioning how badly you want to talk to her about this - if you feel like that, go for it! I get that its scary and could be difficult to do, especially when being friends. You could sit down with her somewhere private and start by mentioning how you have perceived her behaviour as giving mixed signals, and that you'd appreciate to gain some clarity as you do not want there to be misunderstandings. This is just a suggestion though :) Whatever environment or approach makes you feel the most confident and comfortable!