Finally!: OUT of the Closet and IN Love
Dear Readers,
I have been away for some time and for that, I do apologize. I am not nearly as active in my PMs as I was three years ago.
Fast forward a while, and I am happy to share that after decades of struggling with my sexuality, my identity, and my personal truth - I finally found the courage to shake it all off and start living honestly. I met a woman beyond the stretches of my wildest imagination - and all I want to do is scream from the mountain tops that it is completely possible to come through the other side of the unique and common pain that is sexual orientation. I say that to share a couple of key points I've picked up over the last year:
1. No one should ever out you a moment before you are ready.
2. No one can ever tell you what you are or what you are not.
3. Try to care just a little less what people think of you.
4. We only get this one life and no matter the pain, it is just too short to be so unhappy.
5. Be gentle with yourself, none of us are perfect.
6. No two people walk the same path, think the same thoughts, or feel the same feelings even if they share the same experience.
7. Communication is super important and requires practice.
8. Laughter is life, don't take anything too seriously.
9. Love yourself and unpack your baggage before you try to love others.
10. Set your standards very high - it is well worth the wait.
11. The right person will make you a priority and you will never question it.
12. Emotional vulnerability is terrifying, but completely necessary if you want true intimacy.
13. Being direct about your needs is very useful.
14. Boundaries are very important.
15. Hold yourself accountable when you make mistakes, because you will.
If any of you are struggling to come to grips with yourself, I encourage you to be just a little more relaxed about all this. It took until I was 30 years old and a couple of clinical nervous breakdowns to learn how to take a deep breath and shake off what everyone was telling me, or not telling me. The truth is, as much as we desire it, you do not need the approval of anyone to live out your truth. Do not be ashamed. Do not be cornered. Do not submit to silence or victimization. Please, for the love of God, love yourself and tell your story.
What are you struggling with tonight?
Signed,
A Lesbian in Love
Thank you for sharing that with us! :)
Stay healthy and happy.
@CitrusBliss And you as well.
@blitheSun94
This is beautiful. So happy you have found love and peace.
I am still confused and worried but I hope to get where you are.
@Idontknow247
i feel u I have the same problem:(
Do you mind if I ask what you are confused and worried about?
@blitheSun94 Sorry it took me so long to get to this. I am worried that I am convincing myself I'm something I'm not or that it's just a phase. It might just be because of the way I am raised.
@Idontknow247
Not to worry, we all reply when we can.
I can relate to what you're saying. I suffer from some pretty serious imposter syndrome myself. Often times it feels as if I don't know how to be happy, but that couldn't be further from the trust. When you're fed lies and criticism your whole life it can be very difficult to have self-love. Developing a compassionate and supportive voice when engaging in self talk takes practice. Most people are not even aware of their automated thoughts, but we all have them. Take a moment to consider what yours are telling you.
Our environment growing up definitely plays a role in our comfort level. I was suppressed and abused most of my childhood with little to no exposure to people of color or other sexual orientations. It wasn't until I grew up and moved away that I was really able to start building my own belief system and recognizing that it was very different from at least my mother's side of the family.
It takes time to develop these things. I hope you can be patient and gentle with yourself and continue to do the work. I promise it's worth it.
-Blithe
@blitheSun94 
Thank you for sharing this with us!
@blitheSun94 I am glad to hear this!
I am so happy for you!! Thank you for sharing this with us!
Stay safe and have an amazing day!!❤️
Thank you. We are still going strong. ❤️
January will be two years married and three years together. 🌈💕