Hi.
Hi I recently came to the realization that I'm a lesbian. It took a long time to accept that. My parents are homophobic, my country is homophobic. They is a law set for people of the LGBTQ community and supporters to be killed if discovered. My sisters and three other friends know but I still get scared that one day their attitude towards will change. I am currently straight passing, i watch what i say and how I say it so that people won't find out. My parents are Catholic, very religious so i didn't know any thing about the LGBTQ+ community till i read a gay book and looking back I accepted immediately that it's not a bad thing, no internal arguments till the question of lesbians came in. I didn't let myself read lesbian book because I thought it was to gross and wrong. I used to wish I was a guy so that I could like guys also. When I was accepting that I am indeed a lesbian, i hated the term cause it is used a derogatory term and an insult. I still deal with some internalized homophobia. I have already accepted the fact that I am not coming out to my parents till I introduce them to a wife in the future, especially not now cause I don't know what will happen. I want to believe they won't send me out but I might have to go through conversion therapy with them not knowing what the so called priests will do to me as they always listen to them no questions asked.
Hello lovely. I’m so sorry you’re going through this. I can’t imagine the worry you are experiencing. Please be careful your safety is what’s important
thank you for sharing, i hope you're safe :(
@intuitivePenguin264
hi, you must feel awful to be in a closet and not be able to express how you feel. We have the same issue. I feel like my sexuality is not valid until I have a wife or a partner which would prove to everyone that I am indeed a homosexual. But I think by being true to yourself and loving who you are will empower you to come out and advocate for yourself because you are worth it.
@intuitivePenguin264 we are similar (except i won't get killed by government orders in my country for being gay) so i get how you are feeling.
i just want to let you know that you're amazing for dealing with all this. no matter what you're age is, it's hard to go through this with so little people on your side and i'm proud of you for it.
internalised homophobia is a b!tch but i want you to keep reminding yourself that lesbian is not a dirty word. all the negative connotations behind the word are because of cishet males who objectified and oversexualised us. there's no way to speed up the process of getting rid of internalised homophobia but spending time in lesbian communities will help. eventually you'll find that are community is beautiful and you are too for being a part of it.
i hope you find a safe environment to be yourself one day. until then, hang in there! i'm rooting for you. stay safe
@taescheek *our
not are lol
Stay safe :)