How did you know you were a lesbian?
Hi guys! Not sure if there's another post like this, but I figured I'd start my own! I'll answer first...
For me it was quite a long journey, I didn't just 'know' when I was a child. I knew I was attracted to women, but my attraction to men has always been difficult to understand so I figured I was bisexual for a long time. I've been in relationships with men and slept with men so it was very hard to figure out. But I eventually realised that every relationship I was in with a man, every man I slept with, I did so because they wanted to, not because I wanted to be with them. Now I'm at the stage where I know I'm gay, the idea of dating men is so unappealing to me, I don't last long on the 'men' section on tinder because I am uninterested in them. It's somehow very comforting knowing I will only be with and marry women in the future!
I look forward to reading your stories ! :)
Hi ♡
So I thought I'd jump on this train since my story and feelings are pretty similar to yours.
For years I identified as bi (since I was 15) and I was happy with that label for a long time. But in all this time I've never been intimate with a man and have only had a serious relationship with a woman. It's always been easier and more enjoyable for me to engage romantically with women too. Despite this the truth still didnt click (perhaps I didnt want it to). But within the last couple of months I've slowly come around to realise that I've been a lesbian all along.
I think compulsory heternormativity can be so hardwired into us that we dont see the signs as early as we would like to. Even now as I write this I have so much doubt and fear and guilt surrounding this huge realisation that I was never really bisexual.
I feel like a fraud and hate the idea of having to come out again to everyone that I know because I dont want it to be said that I cant "make up my mind". I also worry about reject from other lesbians who might not accept me as legitimate.
But regardless there is still a deep sense of relief now that I have come to a place where I've finally recognised the truth and started the journey toward accepting myself.