Later in live and with kiddo
Hello ,
I am 30 female. And I am lesbian. I have little son and still husband. Yeah well I will get to it.
I had such a bad childhood and teenage times that i had no time realise what I want. (Bullying, self harm , loneliness, being diagnosted with cancer. Went through treatment )
I just then date online and it had been just two guys. One make me itchy when he touched me and i thought there is something wrong with me. Like I couldn't enjoy being close to him. It uncover huge anxiety and he break up with me for me being anxious. Idiot.
Second. ...well we joked alot , together spoke of how other women are. He watched me having all my crush on actteres. (I remeber also love my English teacher like 10 I did remeber her entire time table to meet her lol)
He seems like good guy. And he was till he didn't rape me. Oh yeah ...
And then my family just sided with him. Amusing me wanting it rough and such a ***. No way. They just basically cared for him more then for me and make me to try it with him again.
He promised to change and be diferent he indded was but then when I was pregnant I firstly fall in love with a woman and I was just so happy most happy in my life I wanna that back. I wanna live but my country is so anti LGBTQ community and my parents and partner too.
I just feel so anxious and alone ....
@faithfulTown
I'm sorry to hear about the difficult experiences you've had in your life, and the challenges you're currently facing. It takes a lot of courage to share your story, and I want you to know that you're not alone.
It's important to remember that you have the right to love and live your life the way you want to. Your sexual orientation is a natural part of who you are, and it's not something that can or should be changed. It's also not uncommon for people to question or discover their sexual orientation later in life, and it's okay to explore those feelings.
It's concerning to hear that you experienced sexual assault by your partner, and that your family did not support you. That is not acceptable, and you deserve to be heard, believed, and supported. There are resources available to you, such as counseling services or support groups, that can provide you with the help and guidance you need.
I understand that living in a country that is anti-LGBTQ+ can be very challenging, but it's important to remember that there are people and organizations out there that can provide support and resources to help you. You can also consider seeking legal advice on your options, and connecting with local LGBTQ+ advocacy groups for information and support.
Remember that you are not alone, and there is help available to you. You deserve to be happy and to live your life authentically. Please don't hesitate to reach out for help and support, I am here if you want to chat ❤️
@faithfulTown
I'm so sorry that you are going through this. It makes sense you would feel so anxious and alone. I'm guessing leaving your husband doesn't feel like an option? With you family siding w him about the sexual assault then I would imagine they might side with him if you tried to leave. That sounds incredibly difficult to go through and even worse in a country where being out publicly can be a death sentence. We fully embrace you here. I understand that leaving might not be an option and you are valid even if it means staying in your current situation. Your safety is important. It's ao difficult to not be able to live the life that is true to you and there is a grief that comes with that. I hope you are able to take some time to let that grief happen and I am here to sit w you and hold your hand if you want.