Questioning sexuality
Hello lovelies ^w^ I originally posted this in the gay forum but I feel like it'd be most fitting here
First off, want to start off by thanking anyone who's able to give some input or advice, it means a lot. I'm a 27 year old nonbinary person (afab) who currently identifies as demi-omnisexual. I felt it was most fitting since I'm attracted to all genders but I have a preference for women. However lately I've been questioning my sexuality after watching videos of bisexual/pan people coming out again. Before I thought attraction was all around the same and the demi part of me was attributed to all genders, but I'm coming to find that its different for girls like the romantic and sexual attraction is there without question. The reason I'm having a hard time with this is because I'm currently with a cisguy and although he accepts me for who I am gender identity wise, polyamory is out of question. Some days are easy for me to acknowledge the life we have now and are genuinely happy, but other days I don't crave or want any of his attention and wish I was far away and with the company of a woman. I feel bad and want to find out if my sexuality has something to do with it and if so, how to proceed?
@galacticwolfspirit hmm it's tough because if your sexuality changes your level of attraction to men, then being with a man might not always be satisfactory to you. Whereas it sounds like it might be if it were a woman. Although, usually people in committed relationship regardless of their sexuality still always like the person they're with and don't want to be with someone else, so maybe that part is more about your satisfaction with the relationship rather than strictly about sexuality? For example, someone pan/bi/omni usually has set attention that can fluctuate based on some preferences but you don't usually stop liking a gender, especially of the person you're dating. And demi is about a bond, so...if you've already got a bond that shouldn't change it. Perhaps something else is at play. It doesn't really sound too fair to you to not always be happy, and also not too fair to him either :/ it can be tough
@FoxPrince See I don't even know if I've ever been attracted to men in that way? I grew up in a religious household where being with a guy was expected of me so after I discovered I could like more than one gender I included them because it was compulsive to. I've never been satisfied or happy with a guy, not to throw my partner under the bus because he's a good one, and the fact that I found one who treats me well is why I'm questioning myself. I love and care about him but I'm not sure if theres romance between us so its confusing. You're right it really is tough, I don't want to separate because the thought scares me but at the same time I'm tired of being unhappy. I don't mean to sound selfish, but I usually do my best to take care of others and figure stuff out on my own and this is just another obstacle :/