To All (WLW) -Femme Lesbians
Hello Everyone,
I am interested if anyone who identifies as a fem lesbian (in mid/late 20’s) or woman loving woman feels the same way I do. I have been struggling a lot with lately with internalized homophobia, coming in/out the closet, and cope with facing discrimination within the community.
I face commonly comments like you are too pretty to be gay, such a waste, trying to convince me that like guys if they flirt with me which I don’t even realize or you just haven’t found the man yet.
This makes me rarely/never tell people that I am lesbian because of the most common reaction I have receive is that they don’t believe me because of the way I present myself. I can’t help it if I like baking, crafts, and sunset picnics lol
I guess you can say I am old fashioned when it comes to love dating and all that jazz because I am hopeless romantic and in love with the idea of love
All I have ever wanted in my life is to eventually settle down and start a family in a little cottage with farm animals. I am finding it really difficult to stay positive about it all.
Thank you for listening.
I’m not a lesbian.
I’m an involuntary celibate, men don’t like me back
Hello, I feel the same way. I don't 'look gay enough', my parents talk to me about getting a boyfriend or a husband. My dad knows I like women but he still denies it. I am old fashioned in matters of love too which is why I have been single for years because everyone now wants to have casual sex and people are growing meaner and more selfish. My first love was my childhood friend and she broke my heart, she cheated on me dating guys behind mh back. She then stated she never was attracted to women and that her liking me was a phase. These days I am just focusing on work, going to therapy and hopefully going out more to make new frienda. But like you, I hope one day my faith will be restored and I will find a nice lady to be with. It might never happen, but I have to be happy with what i have now
I understand how you feel. Ever Thanksgiving I got the same question do you have a boyfriend. And when I came out to my family surprisingly most of them are supportive. You just have to give them time. And trust me I understand it might hurt with the questions about boyfriends but they will realize it's not a "phase".
I do enjoy helping them learn about be gay and what the terms are. But they still call my girlfriend a friend... soo it takes time.
Who you want to be and who you want your partner to be, are two separate things.
As soon as you embrace who you really are, youll be golden.
Goodluck! 🥰
Hi! Where are you from are you maybe my soulmate? Haha jokes aparts, I feel exactly the same way that you do, I want a girlfriend to be with the rest of my life, to grow older together in a little cottage with cats and dogs and chickens maybe.
Contrarily to you, I look very gay so I don't have a problem with that, if someone tells me anything just fck them. I came my way with tears, blood and sweat to come out to my family and friends, to fight for being who I am. It must be really difficult though to constantly being told your not gay really or you don't look gay (like there's only one way of being gay).
I used to get a lot of internalised homophobia, but I am still working on it.
Also you be whoever you wanna be, femme, masc, neutro WHATEVER!
I love people that bake, craft and watch the sunset, although I can only do the last one. I am a helpless romantic too... It's.ñ a difficult life.
Thanks for sharing ❤️
Hey! First of all, you aren’t alone in thinking all of this. I’m 29 and came out to my parents when I was 19 and still to this day have problems with how to face homophobia. My parents are very religious and I was terrified to come out. I was constantly verbally abused by them and it has been hard for me to face the community. The whole community knew me as the smart blonde hair blue eyed field hockey player going to college. I was constantly asked if I had a boyfriend or a husband because I shouldn’t have been single and was also told I was too pretty to be gay. People told me I was wasting my life and would never come out to anything, but I worked to prove them all wrong. The one piece of advice that took me a long while to really take into consideration was to not do it for anyone else but yourself. I always worried too much about what others thought and thought that everyone would be only worried about me and my love life. Some people will have their opinions and sometimes they hurt, but always stay true to yourself.
If you are a hopeless romantic who loves baking, crafts, and sunset picnics, then never let that fade away. You are looking for your lifetime partner and anyone should be lucky and thankful to have found a woman with those qualities. Old fashioned when it comes to love and dating is hard to find, but those are the true gems in the dating world and you will be so glad that you stayed true to yourself.
As for the comments from others and coming out or in to the closet, it takes time to come to terms with the community and having that confidence in yourself. I am still working to improve myself each day. Love who you love and be who you are and you will find that you will have that freeing feeling.
If you need to talk more or just need support, I’m always here. 🙂 Support and venting is how I was able to make it through all the hard times and never ending thoughts. I hope everything goes well for you in the present and future!
