I think im a lesbian
hi! so i’ve been in long term relationships with men back to back for the past six years. There have always been times where i thought i was gay, and brushed it off as just being bi but still in love with my boyfriend(s). Recently i’ve realized a lot of things my current boyfriend does really really just grosses me out; like an aversion, an “ick.” I can’t tell if i’m just not attracted to him or to men in general. i got these icks with my other boyfriends as well, and thought that they just aren’t my type of guy. Im just so confused… i love my boyfriend, i think. i love him, but why am i having to convince myself that i do? Sometimes i feel like we’d be better off as friends, but i know i would get jealous or something. Am i gay? Am i just attached to him and gay?
@jackon420
no matter what, remember you are valid and amazing.
@jackon420
Attraction comes in many forms and manifestations. Loving a person romantically doesn't necessitate experiencing physical or sexual attraction whatsoever.
For example a person may be a "heteroromantic asexual" - meaning they experience romantic attraction to the "opposite sex", but do not experience sexual attraction. Some people even have a complete mismatch of romantic and sexual attraction, as in they may be homoromantic heterosexuals - meaning they have romantic attraction to people of the same sex but sexual attraction to people of the opposite sex.
Only you can determine what you really want and feel, but I hope you don't feel like there is some check list of what is required to feel "attracted" to someone.
I'm not sure this will help, but I hope you will take time and listen to yourself and what you want without worrying about how to label it while you figure it out. Labels can be great for describing ourselves, and feeling validated in who we are, but they aren't recipes for how we have to feel or act.
