Male loneliness issue
How to cure the male loneliness?
The craving for conection and the feeling of being alone in the crowd.
@eaterofwords
🥺
Its tough.
We all need connection.
And interaction.
To share the good times and the bad.
To laugh.
To have fun.
When we don't have those things, it can feel isolating, painful , it can eat away at you, that's why these types of platforms can be a lifeline đź’śđź’•
@eaterofwords
I think it can be strongly connected with your life experience so far and your expectations towards the future.
In my case, I've had a lot of good and bad things, and for the moment I can call it a day, though not turning my back on opportunities to change my environment when they happen.
Maybe it's a gift of slowly getting old: perceiving loneliness as a natural state, and seeing its advantages, while seeing your being with people you love as something better than usually and as an added value?
We are individuals, still, we need to feel a part of the swarm. If you could say what makes the difference for you between the former and the latter—what would that be? I mean: what is, technically, your borderline between being among people and feeling alone in the crowd?
@jacek73
I ain't someone's first choice. I ain't special to anyone. I ain't a priority. I ain't the favorite son - even being an only child. I'm nothing but a leftover person no one is interested to hear from or know about.
People remmember me one and only they need something and believe I can do - like a tool somewhere at home. I'm pointed as ready, capable, strong and at the same time, nothing I can possible do is noticed as more than an obligation, like I did my duty and that is all - not even a "thank you".
That is it. I ain't hoping to be special, just seen - but it seems to much and I'm too tired to ask for it.
But please don't misunderstand loneliness and solitude.
@eaterofwords
Thank you for sharing your broader perspective.
I understand it must hurt a lot when you do everything for the world–but the world fails to answer it with giving you just a tiny little place where you're loved, seen and appreciated for the way you are, not only for the things you do.
@eaterofwords
I think by participating in a loving and generous community, like 7cups, is how a person cures loneliness. Have you been on the 7cups website for a while? Sometimes it can take longer than expected to form connections. What has your experience been like so far on this website?
@FaithfulScout
I have been around by an year or close.
No real listening listener, but got to help a few members who had courage open up and vanished ~ like it would have turned out with a paid therapist.
Ain't expecting deep or real conections through an explicitly anonymous social network... And nowadays I think people are expecting too much from internet stuff.
@eaterofwords
Hi!
At the beginning of the summer, I was looking for an online community for my teenage son. In addition to Pal Talk and Chat Avenue (which were too random and broad), I found Teen Talk: it was more focused, but it was also limited to Q&A/advice conversations and 1-1 connections. Then I found 7cups which impressed me by its focus on mental health and the wide range of topics it offers. I signed up immediately. (Unfortunately, my son was never too into the idea to begin with, so that was that for him). But I've been having a rather fulfilling time so far.Â
Have you found any social network websites like this one?
And, I guess you haven’t experienced any “love” (platonically) or generosity at 7cups?
@FaithfulScout
Nope, I didn't.
@eaterofwords
Would you like to explore a different way of connecting with people on 7cups and see if the connection you seek might be available?Â
(I’m not saying that a connection is definitely available for you, but I sense there might be more options to discuss/explore on this journey.)
Also, just to clarify … are you meaning you want connections with people in general or with only men or only women?
@FaithfulScout
Is it possible? With anyone? An exchange? A conection?
@FaithfulScout
Do we interact with each other based on interests only?
@eaterofwords
That’s a good question 🤔
In the broadest sense of the word, I think yes … unless we consider factoring in God (but that is a discussion I’m not prepared for at this time).
So ... the answer to the original question: “Is there a cure for male loneliness" … My answer is still to participate in a loving and generous community. And by participation, I mean conversing with each other based on a shared motive for communicating.
So ... are you still interested in exploring a different way of connecting with people on 7cups?
@FaithfulScout
What would be that way?
@eaterofwords
I'm not sure ... because we would need to first take a look at the ways you have already tried. Then we would discuss if there is anything you would like to try differently.
@eaterofwords
I think "yes" and "no". Because in business or economy the loss of one party is the gain of the other–it's a zero sum game. Emotional connections are different: much more often they are win-win situations. For example, if I spend time with my friend and feel happy, he also benefits from having a friend (me) and having a chat or a walk together.
I recommend becoming obsessed with your own personal progress. Your only influence in life is the things you do in it. I have struggled with loneliness every waking moment. Even in my dreams I am terrified and alone. Yet still must find a way to survive. It's never enough just surviving. You'll be miserable your entire life unless you start trying to break through.
I started taking a stack of vietimns and supplements to help my depression. I started lifting two 30lb dumbbells to take off my stress. Losing weight has improved my depression Greatly. Long road ahead. But this is the only way forward for me. Maybe it is for you too. I have no choice but to work hard for everything and still barely get by. But it's progress. I'm not afraid to go outside anymore. So that's progress. You can do it too. It'll hurt. Infact, healing mentally and spiritually has proven to be more painful than an flesh injuries I've had. And I've had nasty ones.
I've made peace that I'm going to be alone my entire life. It's just my lot in life. But I can atleast have a strong healthy body and mind.
Japanese wandering samurai 'ronin' is something you should read into. Much of the ronin philosophy is about coping with loneliness and finding peace and even growing strength in solitude.
I believe if you embrace solitude, and learn from it, you'll grow. Always.
@limegreenSugar9416
It's great to know that you're having a great time alone and enjoying your solitude; however, here we're talking about loneliness and not solitude - as described above, the first time there was confusion between the concepts.
What part of my comment sounded happy to you ?ð¤£
@limegreenSugar9416
Did I said it sounded happy?
Yeah, you implied that
@limegreenSugar9416
Sorry if you perceived it that way. I didn't.
Work on your delivery so you can't be misunderstood. Good day sir
You’re not alone. I’m middle aged and don’t have a friend in the world.
@eaterofwords Loneliness is heavy, but connection usually starts with small steps — reaching out, joining a group, or even opening up to a friend. It’s scary, but worth it. Being alone in a crowd is one of the hardest feelings. But real connection is possible — it often begins when we let ourselves be seen a little at a time.
@sereneWords6973
I feel too hurt to try.
Anyway, no one is interested.
Whatever you decide, do not, under any circumstances, read any tweets/skeets/YT vids/Substack pieces by feminists. From what I've seen so far, to them the male loneliness problem is either
- not a serious issue.
- undeserving of attention because all men are oppressive/patriarchal/etc. & so barely qualify as human.
- a distraction from women's problems. As we all know, it is impossible to care about &/or work on more than one social-political issue during one's waking hours. </s>
Sometimes words like its okay to not to be okay, I am sorry for this. Aren't enough... its about needing real connection... I am being straight forward here. I can be your family only if your comfortable.Â
