Healing Isn't Pretty

Recently, an idea I have been thinking about a lot is the concept of 'healing'. It's something we all have to do at some point or another and yet it is so difficult every step of the way. Often, it feels like for every step you take forward, you take three backwards and it begins to seem pointless. Well, I'm here to tell you that it's not. 

Healing isn't pretty--it was never meant to be. Healing is the constant process of back and forth with the goal of emerging better of. In many ways, healing from an emotional wound, mental illness, or trauma is much like recovering from a physical injury or sickness, which as we all know is never pretty. But let's walk through it:

1. When a pathogen enters the body, we won't know immediately. 
2. Once we do know, the body still needs to take the time to understand the pathogen (what is it and how do I stop it?). It has to build up its natural defenses to protect from any harm the pathogen might cause before it begins the removal. 
3. White blood cells will target the pathogen and begin the removal process. This, not the pathogen itself, is what causes us to feel sick. We cough and we sneeze and we ache because the body is doing everything that it can to remove the pathogen. 
4. When the pathogen has been neutralized, we go back to normal but we have cells that remember. These cells are our first defense against this pathogen the next time it comes around so that the body can respond quicker and more powerfully to stop us from having to experience the sick symptoms again.

Healing with mental health works much the same:

1. We experience some amount of stress (anything from a repeated minor inconvenience to some massive trauma) though we might not fully register what it is immediately
2. We notice an issue, a response or a feeling that we are not used to experiencing. So we ask ourselves: What is this feeling? Why am I feeling this way? What can I do to stop feeling this way any more? And, often, we build up our defenses to avoid finding ourselves in situations that would allow the trauma to fester.
3. We do therapy, we journal, we create new lifestyle habits, and we confront our emotions to process them fully. It's painful, often there's a lot of sadness and anger and guilt during this step, and yet it is necessary. 
4. When we've overcome our traumas, we find ourselves back in a more healthy state of mind--happier, less guarded, more confident. Often, we are left with more awareness and emotional intelligence than we had before the trauma occurred so that we will be able to handle more as things continue to happen. 

Theoretically, we could avoid doing it by not having our white blood cells respond to the pathogen or pushing our uncomfortable emotions to some deep corner of our minds, but they would only continue to grow and get worse the longer they were left unchecked. 

As you can see, healing is, in many ways, the same physically or mentally. Healing our mental health may not come with such clear physical cues (there's no scabbing or runny noses), but that doesn't mean you're not going through the same processes when you find yourself overwhelmed by sadness or anger or guilt. When you're healing, every step is a way forward, even if you feel as though you are caught in a regressive loop because you'll come out just a little further each time you emerge from that regression. 

Healing isn't pretty, but it can lead to us all becoming better, stronger people. 

All of that is to say: I believe in you. If ever you're feeling doubt that any of this work you've been putting in actually means anything, it is and I know you can find your way to be exactly where you need to be. No matter where you are in your journey, know that I am standing with you, cheering you on and supporting you.