Dismorphic face phobia

I haven't been feeling like myself lately, especially because of the lack of sleep, the stress caused by my university thesis, and an eye allergy that I had. Although the allergy healed, I was left with some spots in my eye. Since then, I've become obsessed with looking at myself in the mirror, examining every detail of my face. I've started seeing myself as ugly, and these thoughts have become overwhelming.

I feel helpless because I don't have the money to buy skincare or haircare products. I'm just a university student living alone in a student residence in another city.

I constantly focus on my dark circles, facial pigmentation, yellow teeth, and my damaged, dry, brittle, and thinning hair. Sometimes I feel like my hair doesn't even deserve to be called hair. My body is also covered with pigmentation, and I've reached the point where I don't even like going out anymore. Even when I wear makeup, I still don't feel beautiful.

I've started believing that I don't deserve anything. My self-confidence is very low, and I always try to please other people.

I'm exhausted. These days, I spend most of my time lying in bed, feeling drained, unmotivated, and powerless.

There's a classmate who seems to like me, but I'm terrified that if he sees the real me, he'll run away.

I also feel that my parents love my sister more because she doesn't struggle with appearance-related issues and is naturally confident. Or maybe I'm actually just not beautiful. Every day feels like emotional torture. I wish I could wake up one morning and find that all these problems had disappeared.

I keep comparing myself to other girls, and it seems like everyone is beautiful except me.

I couldn't focus on my thesis because I was constantly fixated on my appearance. As a result, I wrote a poor-quality thesis, and now I'm ashamed of facing my thesis defense. I wasted so much time focusing on my flaws because those feelings genuinely overwhelmed and distracted me.