I miss him

I miss him so much I want to go back in time to 3 years ago when he would still text me. When he still cared about me. When he still acknowledged me. I see him every day and he acts like nothing happened between us. Like I’m not even there. If he went back to me now I want to take him back but I also want to hurt him like he hurt me. I loved him. He was the only person I have loved like that. It’s been 3 years since he ghosted me and I still can’t stop thinking about him. He’s caused me so much bad. I started picking at my acne and pulling my hair and I just want him back. I still love him. I want to move on so much but I still love him. We were never officially together but I wanted to ask you out I felt like you were already mine. Now you’re gone and you left when I needed you the most. move on so much but I still love him.