Tips from my personal experience with terrifying intrusive thoughts

Hi everyone

First of all, I want to say that I am not a psychologist or a professional. Everything I am writing here is based on my own experiences with intrusive thoughts and on things that have helped me personally. I am not saying that these things will work for everyone, but maybe some of them can help you feel a little better too.

For a long time, I found it really difficult to talk about intrusive thoughts. But I want to talk about them now and share what has helped me, because I know how lonely and scary it can feel when you think nobody understands what is happening inside your head.

First of all: your thoughts are not reality, and you are not your thoughts. It is important to separate yourself from them. You can even imagine the thoughts as coming from another person, because they are not you.

Something that helped me was writing down my own personal “laws” things that are important to me, things that would hurt me, and things that I would never allow anyone to take away from me. I wrote them down so I could remind myself of what is truly mine.

When you start seeing intrusive thoughts as something that is not actually a part of you, it can become easier not to let them control you. You can tell yourself something like: “I am not going to let the troll attack my laws.” If you imagine your intrusive thoughts as a troll, then it is simply something trying to attack something that belongs to you but it does not actually have the power to take it away.

I once saw something on a website that really stuck with me. Countries have laws, and people respect those laws. So why shouldn’t we have our own personal laws and boundaries that we don’t allow anyone to break? You deserve to protect the things that are important to you.

Another thing that helped me was reminding myself that a recurring thought does not need to be thought through again when there is no new information. It is a never-ending cycle. You keep thinking about the same question and always end up at the same uncertain answer.

And that is one of the most important things: uncertainty is not dangerous. It is okay to have an uncomfortable feeling because you are not answering the thought. You don’t have to get rid of that feeling. You can let it be there.

I also like to imagine a black hole in my mind. When a thought comes, I imagine it being sucked into this black hole. I picture it very clearly, and then I let the thought disappear into it. And then I accept that it is gone. I don’t need to bring it back and check it again.

When I say that you shouldn’t give the thought attention, I don’t mean that you have to force yourself to “ignore” it or fight against it. You can acknowledge that the thought is there without analyzing it, answering it, judging it, or trying to prove whether it is true or false. You can let the thought be there and simply continue with what you were doing.

The thought is allowed to come, but you don’t have to give it any value, meaning or importance. You don’t have to solve it. Otherwise, you can get stuck in the same cycle. For me, it helped to learn that I don’t have to find the perfect answer every time a thought appears.

You also have to remind yourself that nothing and nobody gets to take away your happiness and your joy.

For example, there was a time when I lost my appetite, my sexual interest, and even my feelings. I felt like I had lost a part of myself because I was letting the thoughts become so important to me. But when I started reminding myself that these thoughts were not a part of who I am and stopped treating them as something I had to solve, I started feeling things again. I had more motivation, and I could feel much more like myself.

And something really important: you don’t necessarily feel this way because your thoughts are true. You can feel this way because you are afraid that they might be true.

I used to have panic attacks when I had thoughts that I found horrible. But eventually, I stopped having them. And you don’t have to be afraid that you’re going to suddenly become the person you’re afraid of becoming, or that you’re going to do the thing you’re afraid you might do.

Remember that what you are afraid of and what the intrusive thought is telling you can be completely different from what you actually want, feel and are.

And please remember: you are not alone.

I used to feel like nobody would ever be able to help me. But after just my first therapy session, I already felt so much better. And since then, it has only been going uphill for me. It doesn’t have to stay as bad as it feels right now.

I also used to think I was the only person in the world experiencing this because I couldn’t even put my thoughts into words. But with time, I realized that I’m not alone and that there are explanations for what I was experiencing.

Watching videos from psychologists on YouTube also helped me a lot. Sometimes hearing someone explain what is happening can make you feel calmer. Keeping yourself busy can help too — not as a way of running away from your thoughts, but as a way of continuing to live your life instead of spending hours analyzing every thought.

And please understand how irrelevant these thoughts can actually be. I have had intrusive thoughts about so many completely different topics. And you know what? Nothing I was afraid of ever happened. Not once.

The fact that my thoughts kept changing their topics helped me realize something: if the topic can constantly change, then the thoughts themselves aren’t necessarily telling me anything meaningful about who I am. The cycle just keeps looking for something new to scare me with.

You have to break that cycle by not giving every thought the attention and analysis it demands.

And one more thing that I think is really important: it is okay to have a setback. If you have a bad day again, it does not mean that all your progress is gone or that you are back at the beginning. It doesn’t mean that everything you worked for was for nothing. Sometimes the thoughts can come back really strongly, and that’s okay. The next day can be better again.

When that happens, try to remind yourself of everything you’ve already learned. Don’t let the thought pull you back into the cycle. Stand your ground and remind yourself that you don’t have to let the thought become a part of you or take control over you. Even if it feels difficult in that moment, you can let it be there without giving it meaning. A setback is just a bad moment. it is not the end of your progress.

And most importantly, remember: these thoughts are not you. You don’t have to be afraid of them.

You are still you.

You are not your thoughts. And you don’t have to figure them all out.

Again, I am not a psychologist or a professional, and I am not saying that my way of dealing with intrusive thoughts is the right way for everyone. These are simply things I learned from my own experience that helped me personally. If you’re struggling a lot, please don’t be afraid to reach out to a professional. You deserve help, and you don’t have to go through this alone but it can take a long time to get a therapy session and maybe this helps you a little bit.

I wish you all peace in your minds