Existential OCD
Anyone with this type of OCD?
I am looking for friends to share experience and to support each other to ease the everyday struggles.
@Cataleya1978 Hello! I am sorry you are experiencing existential OCD :( I have a bit of that (especially recently). More about themes surround death/afterlife. We are here for you if you need to talk about it.
We have an OCD support session 8pm EST in the Support Session Room as well!
Hi AmintaBlack,
It's so nice to hear a good word from you. I am here alone and every day is so hard....especially when I lost the meaning. I live constantly in my head and it's difficult to be in the present moment. I feel like I have no emotions...only thinking and thinking. I fight every day to survive the day. How are your symptoms during the day? Do you have intrusive thoughts all the time or only sometimes?
I really appreciate your post. I feel better when I can talk to someone in the same situation.
@Cataleya1978 That sounds like it is very hard :( Can relate to feeling like you are trapped by your own mind and it is hard to go out and enjoy life. I have intrusive thoughts throughout the day, but they were very bad in the morning and at night before sleeping (usually when I had less distractions).
I have been working on I-CBT to help lessen them, and it does seem to be helping. The thoughts might come up, but it feels like they have less power over me. Still something I am actively working on, but it has been 2 years. I am better now than before.
Hoping you can find something to bring you into the present more (walks, art, playing an instrument, volunteering) anything that forces you to bring attention to the body I find helps in between appointments ❤️ Some days though I just get trapped, some days are better.
Hi AmintaBlack,
It is a small light that I find a message from you this morning ❤️ .I feel less alone. I send my kids to school and here I am with nothing but my thoughts. I started doing a puzzle and I have a great book to read. I have couple of hours before work. I am a teacher and in general I love my work. But no joy in life...I haven't experienced good feelings in a long time. Now I try every day to survive the day. My therapist says the emotions will come with positive thoughts...I hope.
I am sorry you have a bad time with your Ocd. I can relate to having bad thoughts in the morning and evening like you. I read somewhere that if we focus our attention to meaningful things in life the bad thoughts will gradually loose their power and will disappear naturally. Are you able to lead normal personal life? Do you have a family, kids? What fo you work?
I appreciate having you here!
@Cataleya1978 Puzzles are great! :) I have been meaning to do one of those again. I use to sit down and do some with my roommates. My husband isn't as into them, but maybe I can try again. Teaching is a great profession :) I do research for work and am married. We will start trying for kids in the next couple of years. I grew up with a mom that has severe OCD and alcoholism (she was sober for many years before she passed). My life is somewhat normal, luckily I am in a job with flexible hours, but OCD still steal a lot of joy in life (as you mentioned). Hope we can all support each other through our journey.
@Cataleya1978 Hi Cataleya! I am really sorry to hear about your existential OCD. I sometimes struggle with this as well and it's not easy, but I promise you aren't alone. Do you struggle with other types of OCD as well? I understand that living with OCD is difficult, but there is always help out there and I want you to know that there's no shame receiving help either! I have been on medication for 7 years and it has been a lifesaver! Medication isn't for everyone, but it is an option! Please know that you are never alone!
@fruityPond7887
Hi fruityPond,
Thank you for your post and support. It's really great to have a word from you. I had also relationship ocd but it switched to other topics. Mainly I ask questions about the origin of things. It just started to bother me automatically because I lost my direction in life. I don't take medication but I have a therapist who is working with me to change my behavior and response to the compulsions. I have difficulty to stay exposed and to be with the anxiety in order to build tolerance for uncertainty of not knowing. Then I try to refocus my attention. It takes effort to change yourself to not be so curious and to live with the things the way they are. Which means to enjoy life even not knowing. This is to change your whole personality. The CBT works for that. I have homeworks to do from my therapist.
Do you have family support? How is your day going with Ocd? Do you have intrusive thoughts all the time or sometimes only? How do you deal with them?
@Cataleya1978 Hi! Yes, I remember doing things like that too. It's called Exposure Response Therapy and it's been proven to be the best treatment for OCD, but it can be so so hard sometimes. Facing the anxiety head on can be scary and I understand. I have had relationship OCD too and that's a hard one to deal with as well. I have been dealing with OCD for a while and I have found a medication that has worked for a while now! I have moments that are hard, but overall I've been doing better than before! So I think my mindset is very OCD based but I've gotten used to it and my intrusive thoughts aren't nearly as bad as they used to be! I definitely acknowledge the thoughts and don't fight them because the more you fight them, the more they will try to take over. It's important to try and make peace with them ❤️ I do have support and I am grateful, but I will try finding reassurance from loved ones and that isn't good either because they just reinforces the cycle over again and only makes me feel better momentarily. Try to avoid doing that if you can :P I hope this helps and please don't hesitate to reach out with any more questions!
Hi am writing here because I feel very lonely and confused how I am going to continue my life. My boyfriend left me because he doesn't want to live with my problems anymore and he didn't understand how difficult is living with OCD. I qm very depressed as I was relying on his love and support. It was my meaning so survive. What to do?
@Cataleya1978 Hi Cataleya, I'm so sorry to hear about your boyfriend 😞 He doesn't deserve you anyway! You're amazing and you're going to be fine! It's important that you can be happy on your own too because you are the most important person in your life! We are here for you and you are going to get through this. <3