Broken Compass

Hi there, my name is Ember and I am a solo single momma to a beautiful 1.5 year old boy. His biological father have been separated for 6 months and he officially moved out 2 weeks ago. 6.5/7 weeks ago, we had sex, no connection or emotion, just sex… and that one time in a whole year, I fell pregnant. 

Now… I have been talking with this amazing man for a month, who has kids, who has extraordinary ambitions, hard working, priorities intake, healthy, just a good good man and father. 

I am financially severely in debt, can barely afford to rent a room, pay for daycare, and simple necessities that my son and I need. His father is practically absent and does not pay any child support at the moment (and never has in any shape, way or form). I have just gotten back down to a weight I am happy with again and just starting to grow and gain my self worth and respect… 

I have gone back and forth since I was 4 weeks pregnant, what I should do… I have never considered and never though I would consider terminating… but I have found myself with the medication to make the decision. 

Side note, and no, this does not have a primary impact or weight to my decision, but I did tell the man I am seeing and he said that it would break what we had building… he said that it shows weakness and immaturity… and it is somethings that I need to work through first before thinking or wanting to continue on with him… 

So many valid facts as to why terminating would be the healthiest option for my physical, mental, and emotional health, financially, and more… but I also think… I am going to hold this decision with extreme pain and weight for the rest of my life if I do go through it… 

I just need some help, outside thoughts and emotions, and just some understanding empathetic guidance… please.