Marriage struggles and kids
So I have 2 kids my oldest will be 3 soon and my youngest is 3 months and me and my husband haven't been intamit since our first was born until we decided on having a second baby and now intimacy is gone again he want more intimacy and I think I'm a mom moms don't do that unless they want to have another baby but also I feel like I would be contaminating them when I hug and kiss them and I also don't want them to think I'm dirty. Growing up I had a lot of issues with sex I have always thought it was icky and gross but I also miss being intamit with my husband
@cass87 As someone who grew up in a religious setting, I understand your beliefs about sex. When I was growing up, there was no real conversation about sex, aside from the idea that it was primarily for reproduction. So, I thought it was normal that I didn’t find joy in the idea of being intimate with someone. After all, I believed it was only meant for reproduction — a means to an end.
Its not for religious reasons but my mom acted like my friend instead of a mom and she told me everything at a young age and she would joke with me I mean I watched dirty dancing young and other kind of movies like that
@cass87 Thanks for clarifying. Now I understand better the relationship between your role as a mother and your attitude toward sex. It’s understandable why you feel a sense of shame or contamination when you try to kiss or hug your children. After all, your mother shared too much adult information with you at too young an age, which has affected how you understand intimacy and boundaries.
Yes he knows and he understands but he still wants sex or at least a BJ every so often
@cass87 I think it’s great that you two have been able to talk about and communicate your wants. However, I was thinking more about having a conversation with the goal of finding a solution that both of you feel comfortable with. During that discussion, were you able to find such a solution?
We haven't come up with anything yet. I brush my teeth after wash my hands each my lips and I still don't feel ok What books and arrivals and support groups?
@cass87 At the moment, I don’t have a specific book in mind that might be helpful for your situation. The books that have helped me were based on my own experiences with sex in a religious context. Similarly, the support groups I have been part of were related to my own sex life, and since everyone's experiences are different, I am not sure they would be the best fit for you.
You are so sweet thanks
@cass87 While it was a bit difficult to find, I managed to find two books that I think will be helpful for you. I made sure both are available for free, since I don't know if you have a subscription to an app that lets you read any book you want.
Thank you so much that will be helpful
