Are you okay sweetie 💞
@tinywhisper11
I miss you so much and our lovely conversations are you okay honey, how are you?? 💕
@crimsonRaspberries1486
i remember being raped and touched several times by my cousin at 6 till i was 9 and i've been disgusted with myself and i feel like a ***... when i got help about it everyone just ignored me and said it didn't matter and that i was lying...he ever locked me in a room and tied me to a chair and made me watch him *** his sister... also i'm tired of people comparing there problems to mine and saying i have a perfect life..but people don't see everything...they don't see the abuse...the words and harassment.. and when they see just a glimpse of it they laugh it off. i went to the mental hospital twice last month in october...i'm tired of acting perfect all the time...i have to put on a smile or i get called weak or cowardly or stupid or anything else my dad wants to say... im bisexual and my dad told me a lot of things when he was drunk... like always...i just don't know what to do anymore...i feel like i'm carrying the world on my shoulder and i'm slipping so much...i feel like a bird in a cage with no key nor door...i feel trapped, tired, drained, numb, hurt, alone, and empty...i feel like an item...like im nothing...and..that hurts...a lot....
Oh my goodness this is a lot to disgust I'm so sorry for all of that @aylynn you do not deserve any of that treatment 😨
@crimsonRaspberries1486
im done...my dad started with me again...
Ok do you have a safe place to go
@crimsonRaspberries1486
no...i feel trapped... i feel idk...numb...
Is there anywhere you can go, or call the police?
@crimsonRaspberries1486
no...im scared....you have no idea how it feels... or maybe you do...idk...but what i do know is his words eat at me from the inside out.... he hurts me... he... hates me...
I understand more than I could ever tell you if you can get somewhere where he cannot speak to you call someone you know that has a safe place or call the police.
@crimsonRaspberries1486 hey thanks for reaching out 💖 I miss you sooooo much, I have been taking a back seat here lately, I've been around now and again just working through some mental health struggles, but I'm doing a lot better 💖😁💖 my spinal injections are due soon, I'm in so much pain right now waiting 😥 all I want to do is cry😥 but after I have them I will feel alot better🙂💖 how are you?? How is your wife?? And family/inlaws?? And your friend with the son who's ill?? I'm sorry I haven't been here for you, but I miss you and I love you 💗 gives you a giant tiny hug 💗 I've been doing a lot of drawing lately 😁 I made a new art thread a few days ago💖 it's almost xmas 😁😁😁 I'm sooooooo excited😁😁💖
Seeing your message has lit me up, I've been so worried about you! 💕 I completely understand the mental well-being situation, I'm no better than you, and all the breakthroughs and pain, you would understand if you read my last forum my love.❤️ I'm glad that your taking care of yourself although I wish I could take your pain away dear, but if this helps you heal than it's all worth it! 💝 You have to show me some of your drawings though!! 🖌️🩵🩷
The answers to your questions are in that forum just don't cry!! Karol and Jason are doing much better, Jason's legs are healing significantly and he has his dentures thank God so he can take care of his body and the vitamins he's been needing. Karol finally paid off her car and Jasons truck is being looked at I think!! Are you ready for Christmas ??? And do you want to hear something funny!!! 😄
Gives you a ginormous hug 🫂 🤍
@crimsonRaspberries1486 @aylynn hi sweetie 💖 sits beside you and hugs you tightly 💖 in so sorry for your past😥 that was heartbreaking to read😥 your dad sounds like alot to handle, bless you. I'm glad you opened up here, that was very brave of you 💖 we both completely understand your situation unfortunately 🙁 so your safe to talk here 💖 we will support you in any way we can💖💖 how is your day going?
@aylynn hey dear I hope you are in a safe environment, I've been thinking about you all day wondering if you are safe and sound. @tinywhisper11 and I are always here for you, from my past I completely understand where you are coming from and the amount of pain. I'm so proud of you for opening up to us the way you did. 💕
Please continue to be so strong and strong enough to say no, strong enough to get out of this situation. I don't know what your environment looks like but please know that there are various programs out there that might be able to assist you with everything you need including psychiatric help. They will put you first and make sure that you are infact away from all danger, they will also investigate what's going on.
Gives you a gentle hug 🫂 🤍
@crimsonRaspberries1486 hey I'm so sorry I haven't been around🙁 I really hope you are ok 💖 I will try to catch up on all your posts when I get back to cups more regularly💖 my spinal injections are next week 😁 thank God💖 but right now I'm in incredible pain 😥 but I love you and I'm thinking about you 💖 hugs you tightly 💖 I love you 💗
@Tinywhisper11 oh and I'm always ready for xmas 😁😁😁😁😁
@tinywhisper11 runs and gives you a ginormous hug 🫂 🤍. hey my darling, I am so sorry that your are in incredible pain but I'm glad to hear that the spinal injections are next week! I really hope it helps your honey, 💗to be honest I hadn't been on seven cups regularly, I had been going through so much crap it's not even funny. But my darling there is no need to catch up with all my posts it's okay, god knows you are overwhelmed and in pain.😨 I love you too my dear I'm slightly excited for Xmas, 💝 you have been on my mind I love you ❤️❤️
@crimsonRaspberries1486 awwww hugs you soooo tightly you can't breath💖💖💖😁 only slightly excited!?!?😮 that's not good we need to get you into the Xmas spirit💖 so daily Xmas jokes coming right up 😁💖my injections are tommorow, but enough about me. How have you been sweetie? I worry about you alot and I feel bad when I can't be here for you🙁 your a very special lady, I hope you know that💖💖💖
@Tinywhisper her my darling 💖 you know that was just to creative and funny 🤣🤣🤣 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 hugs you back with the same amount of strength while gasping for air💖💗💖💗
I have been all over the place I have lost three people that were very special in my life and had a very big value to me. So I'm trying to go through see emotions in a appropriate manner of course well trying to deal with addiction.
None of it is easy and Lily and I have been bickering non-stop over the most ridiculous crap ever, our arguments are so *** stupid, but we always apologize after and say I love you because we both know we're just angry with everything around us and that's the reason why we bigger, it's not anything that she had done and it's not anything that I had done either.
Today we went to the store and Lily was planning on getting me the detox tea and it turns out EBT doesn't cover that stuff so I have to deal with this the hard way which isn't a big deal because it's worth the fight however it is very frustrating. It is so easy to pop pain pills and find what I need to get drunk knowing about medicine, but it is not worth it it is not worth getting drunk or high over and I know that's very very well, considering my kidneys and liver would not get any better and I'm currently in dialysis which is incredible and it's going to take a while for them to heal.
I'm trying to have a healthy mindset through every emotion I go through through every bad thought I have I keep trying because that's all I can do right now. I am trying to be the healthiest I can be because I want to see me in my 30s and so forth I'm only 26.
By the way my dear part of the reason why I'm hesitant on my Xmas spirit is because it'll mark a year since I lost a precious soul but I'm trying my best because I know that it doesn't get any easier.🩷
I'm very very very special because of the amount of love I have in my life and support from people like you and the best friends I keep very close to me not to mention my incredible wife!! 💕
@crimsonRaspberries1486 twas the night before xmas and all through the house not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse..... I probably should have invested in one of those carbon monoxide detectors 😕
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
@crimsonRaspberries1486 damn! Your on dialysis😥 that's not good, bless you 🙁how often do you have to have it done?? Will you be ok after treatment??
I'm so sorry about your loses😥 grieving is one of the hardest things to go through, we are never prepared for the loss of loved ones😥 and yeah holidays can be the worst, especially if it's a anniversary of a death😥 I hope you find comfort in the fact that they are now all in a better place with no more suffering💖
You got addicted to drugs and alcohol? 😕 I hope your having a lot of support around that topic. So I'm not the best at advice there, sorry🙁 but I can listen and offer hugs 💖
Lily is such a beautiful name🙂 your love for each other always makes me smile, your dynamic ways of working together is so incredible💖💖
Hey! Your 1 year older than me😁💖 gives you gentle hugs this time and mayo gives you slobbery kisses 💖
Mayo is my unicorn, mayo neighs😁💖
@Tinywhisper I remember you telling me about mayo, I have missed mayo!!
Heres how it started, the drugs... It started my midol because it's been forced on me for years actually since I started having periods, that's also why my kidneys and liver are failing because of midol, and the alcohol is all from stress and PTSD... I would drink lots of wine lots and lots
But I'm okay I will be okay I actually put myself in dialysis I've been taking cranberry supplements everyday, and I shifted my diet around a little, there are more fruits and vegetables I don't really eat junk often so I don't need to worry but less sodium because that's why I swell up so bad I can't wear my rings!
It's so hard when you lose people that you once lived so much and you just can't bare the thought of them leaving your life.. but my baby is in a much better place along with the three souls I have lost, I must remember that sometime I will see them again. 💗
I don't think I ever told you that my wife's name is Lily but yes it's very lovely just like her personality! 😌 When is you birthday!!! Mine is early August 2000. Hugs you right back and hugs mayo and kisses the side of his face and scratches his head 🩷
@crimsonRaspberries1486 I understand, I was lucky enough to get of cocaine while I was in the hospital recovering after I got rescued. It's no wonder your kidneys are failing😥 I'm so sorry sweetie 🙁 addictions are so easy to start but so hard to stop, but with everything that's happened/happening in your life don't be hard on yourself about it, it's a way of coping we all have our own ways. But I'm sooooo proud of you for trying to stop and get healthier, and you should be too 💖💖
I didn't have a birth certificate, I knew how old I was because they would mark us. So anyway I got to choose my name and birthday 😁 I chose November the third😁
I almost brought me to tears, I'm so sorry for that what heavy heavy drug oh my lord, well I mean I do smoke cigarettes but it's not like I've had it rough so far, you are right I do need to give myself gratitude. But please please don't worry about me and my kidneys or liver I'm okay!! 🩷🩷🩷
I'm very proud of you too honey and you should have every right to be proud we both our very healthy woman, I actually do not have my real birth certificate it's in the cult but a couple of some very close friends of mine did some "research"😌 they were able to dig and tell me, which was very brave of them and I can't express what love I have and how appreciative I am!
I do however think you are extremely brave for deciding what your name should be along with your birthday how did you do it darling 💖
@crimsonRaspberries1486 a nurse at the hospital after I got rescued, she would sit with me and just talk about anything and everything, I would just listen🙂 she would be there to keep me calm, and to try and explain what's happening💖 she once told me she would have loved to have a daughter named Lola, that nurse meant a lot to me💖 so my name is Lola😁 and my birthday I just picked for no reason💖
That is such a sweet meaningful name, I love that, are you in touch with that nurse? This is one of the reasons why is just love to become a nurse someday ❣️
@crimsonRaspberries1486 you would make a greeeeaaaat nurse💖💖💖💖 I'm not still in touch with her🙁 she's in America and I was put in a protection programme in the uk🙁 but in my Heart she'll always stay💖
I've had my injections earlier today😁 I'm feeling a little better, but very tired. By tomorrow my pain levels should be back down to my normal pain levels😁💖
How are you?? Did you celebrate thanksgiving today?? Whatever your doing be happy and safe 💖 hugs you tightly 💖I love you 💗
I hope your right 💕 being a nurse would be everything to me for a million reasons, but only God and the universe knows what will happen, who knows what the future holds! 💓 That sweet nurse will always remain in your heart, the people we treasure the most will forever remain in our hearts, and the memories.🩷 I can't wait to become a nurse so I can help create treasured moments like those. 🥹
I'm so happy you had your injections I've been worried sick about you my darling, so it just makes me delighted to know that you would be in excruciating pain. 💖💖💖💖
Thanksgiving is a mess but I'm trying to be as happy as I can be, I have so much to be thankful for and I'm behind blessed in many ways!! 💟 I'm also very thankful to know you and to have you as one of my best friends, 🤩💓 I hope you are having a wonderful thanksgiving and you best get a full belly dear!💕
I hope thank what ever you are doing you are a happy Lola 🌹 and that you are happy and warm, hugs you right back smiling with happy tears in my eyes I love you so much darling 💖💖💖💖💖💖💖
@crimsonRaspberries1486 just finished decorating my tree with tampons... Ready for the festive period 😁😁💖
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂you had me rolling honey that's the best way to decorate your tree and night I say the bada** way I just love that! Have you had a good day honey?
@crimsonRaspberries1486 hi sweetie 💖 I did have a good day😁 I learnt how to hard wire a oven into the electrics😁😁 and I didn't get electrocuted😁😁
How was your day?? How is the dialysis going??
Whereever you are, whatever your doing stay warm and safe 💖 and drink hot chocolate💖 hugs you tightly 💖 I love you 💗
Hey babe I'm so happy you had a wonderful day😌, how's your art coming along. 🩵🖌️ I think that it fascinating that's one thing I wouldn't do at all so your brave!!🧰
I won't know how the dialysis is going until I see my doctor and I don't know when that will be but considering we are taking care of my kidneys and liver than natural way, it's hard telling it's just with my *** insurance I can't afford to do it the medical way.
I've definitely had better days but I suppose it's a good day because I'm still alive and currently spending time with my goofy wife so I cannot complain!
It is currently snowing so I will be very careful if I do drive which unfortunately I will have to but luckily the snow plow trucks are pretty good! I will drink plenty of hot chocolate if you do the same☕🤎
💖💗I love you too darling very much💗💖
