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crimsonRaspberries1486
1 6,534 M Moving Along 4
PathStep 167 Compassion hearts1,503 Forum posts670 Forum upvotes1,328 Current upvotes1,328 Age GroupAdult Last activeJanuary, 2026 Member sinceJuly 26, 2025
Bio

hello my name is Vicky, I'm extremely talkative, I love drinking coffee, listening to music mostly 70s to 90s but I'm good with recent music too! I'm mostly always available to talk if needed💝 I'm 26y/o female trying to sort out somethings. Wisdom comes through what hardships we go through, pain can guide us if we let it.




Recent forum posts
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I need my best friends 😰 please no one else look
Pen Pals / by crimsonRaspberries1486
Last post
 January 14th
...See more PeachThinker662, Tinywhisper11, Amanda84 Last night I had to go to the ER because of how much pain I've been in, Tuesday night I barely got away I was almost killed. My nephew and I were driving home and a big black truck almost killed us we were at the stop sign signaling to go left I waited for over a minute, and when I started to turn left he came out of nowhere and with no headlights on. I had to make a very sharp and fast turn that made the tires squeal really loud and so fast of a turn I swerved, I was speaking up to maybe 85 and this truck was flashing his brights and everything under the sun, I made a very fast turn into a store parking lot. I was scared sh*tless so he had to drive the rest of the way I was experiencing a horrible panic attack, days later the pain started to get worse so bad I couldn't really move, so last night my beautiful wife took me to the ER I was given some heavy drugs and there is underlying discoveries, they did a cat scan on me and I also have calcium deposits on my brain and many old skull fractures from all the abuse I had to endure staring at four. I'm very scared because we will have to set up an appointment with my doctor and get refured to a neurologist... Things are very scary right now I still can barely even walk, I just need my best friends aside from my beautiful wife.😭😭😭 More of the puzzle is coming to light
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Gratitude list 🤍🫂
Positivity & Gratitude / by crimsonRaspberries1486
Last post
 January 2nd
...See more I haven't done a gratitude list in many months, ome new years resolution I have is to continue them more frequently like maybe weekly, I have noticed how they helped me. So this will be my first one of the year I suppose and we'll go from there! Im grateful that this year has made me extremely brave 💗 I'm greatful this year has taught me so much about myself 🥰 I'm greatful for all the hard lessons that I have learned or had to remember this year ❤️ I'm greatful for everyone I have met this year, everyone has had a impact on me one way or another🤍 I'm greatful I'm still alive and breathing, that I get to see another beautiful year I'm greatful this year has allowed me to explore a little and find some neat hobbies I'm in all honesty having a rough time, I can't find the right words, this year has had highs and lows, ups and downs, and I can't complain about any of it, this year I'm a different person, and I cannot wait to see what I look like next year and the heat after that. What matters is that I am still be, I have my gorgeous wife by my side along with my chosen friends and family. 🥂💖💖💖💖 I love all of you dearly, you guys please be safe and enjoy what couple hours we have left of 2025🥂
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Random emotional dump!
Trauma Support / by crimsonRaspberries1486
Last post
 December 29th, 2025
...See more Hi babies you don't have to read this but I'm hoping by posting this maybe I will be able to breath some, happy new years my loves. And comments are more than welcome, I wasnt sure where to exactly post this so forgive me please 𥺠Normally I don't talk about my mental health especially recently I have been trying to shove all of it down and I know that is very unhealthy. I can't wait for this month to be over with I'm especially glad Christmas is done and over with it marks a whole year since I was drugged up and r*ped a whole year since I called the cops and was dissowned, a whole year since I lost a soul, a whole year since I said *** you and left. This year they have sent me three things in total and completely *** me up. One on my "birthday", second one and third one for Christmas crap, the cops can't do anything I'm devastated and the worst part is they know and just don't care. I told them I do not want contact and they still are contacting me and even the detective on the case told me no contact. I don't know where I am in my head right now, this year and mainly month have sucked, I havnent had a chance to regulate my emotions, or even greave at all. I feel like I'm present but yet I feel trapped in this void, I have to switch meds again and I am dreading coming down from my current medication to start this other one. I feel like I have no control I feel like I'm out of my body watching what's happening. I'm constantly in this state of fear and anxiety, the dreams aren't helping they are worse especially with what month it is. My beautiful wife and I are conestky at each other's throats and it's all the crap going on and this isn't what I want for her. I feel like everything is slowly falling apart piece by piece. I'm trapped in side my head isolated in this ending nightmare, she is always angry and she has every right to be!! But I can't take it especially with everything I'm going through. I don't know what to do I'm drowning in all this negativity, anger, hurt, abuse, etc. I really have no hope that this sh*this will ever change. Maybe a little over a week or so I started to volunteer at hibitat for humanity again and it does help but on the way home the pure dread seems right back and it's not towards my wife obviously it's towards all this f*cking crap going on I don't know how much more I can take before I shatter into a bigger mess then what I am. I pray for God that 2026 is so much better and full of growth and positive things, maybe a door to a path of some kind...
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A life lesson to remember
General Support / by crimsonRaspberries1486
Last post
 December 10th, 2025
...See more Pick your battles very wisely no matter how old you are, and no matter what conditions are precent. Some things simply are not worth your time or with you fighting over.
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My gratitude and love 💖
Journals & Diaries / by crimsonRaspberries1486
Last post
 November 27th, 2025
...See more Hello my darlings I hope everyone is having a wonderful day/night!! Comments are of course more than welcome 🤗 💗 I've been very stressed out recently and it's caused my body to flair up this started yesterday, worst part is everything is normally do around the house I couldn't do plus it was laundry day yesterday. I had to tap out because I was hurting so much, my wife ended up helping me she told me to sit down and relax as she did all the chores, because she knows me so well she left easy things for me because I'm so stubborn. I ended up getting extremely overwhelmed because I wasn't up and doing something and she knew it would happen too!!🥺🩷 God bless her 💖 she even handled make dinner and it was Taco night but when we have tacos I like to turn it into a taco salad (I hope I'm not the only one!) but she made that for me and she put her whole heart into this dish,😊 she made it look like a sun, she broke up the taco shells and put them around the bowl and in the center was the salad and that too had prices of the taco shell💕💖!! She knows that I almost never tap out unless I'm hurting so much I'm basically in tears, the fact that she stepped in broke my heart yet I was entirely grateful for her and she moved me to happy tears.🥹💗 I know what she deals with and how much she hurts every day, she even took care of the laundry and hung it up. Each and every time I tried to do it and said sit your a** back down Victoria. Not out of anger but pure worry and concern over my well-being, I'm always up and doing something so it felt very strange to not be up doing something!! It made me realize even more that people who cannot help and be up doing everything wish they could that would gladly get up and stay up, and the people who are always staying busy and doing everything deep down want help and to sit although it may feel so weird. When you walk in someone else's shoes it's a different level of understanding, my body does feel a little better but only by a hair unfortunately.😨 She's still taking care of me even through she is hurting more today then yesterday 🥺🩷💕 including expect this out of her and I can only imagine how she is feeling, she is very allergic to tiger balm and YET she put it all over my back and is constantly working about me and my health. I know that when you are in an intimate relationship you should always try to take care of each other unconditionally the same with unconditional love. Given my past that I've mentioned a lot I'm still learning about love and so much more, and it's very overwhelming and all I can do is be internally grateful for the amount of love that I receive everyday!💖💖💖💖 If I can't show up for myself she is right there🥹💝🫂💕
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Are you okay sweetie 💞
Pen Pals / by crimsonRaspberries1486
Last post
 December 2nd, 2025
...See more @tinywhisper11 I miss you so much and our lovely conversations are you okay honey, how are you?? 💕
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Word scramble
Journals & Diaries / by crimsonRaspberries1486
Last post
 November 25th, 2025
...See more Hello my beautiful darings💖💖 comments are more than welcome, no one has to read this, it's hard to understand because I suck at writing out my emotions, so if you choose to read this good luck🫨 My chest hurts, tears come and go and they don't stop they are like a sad fountain, I get dizzy spells, I get brain fog, I'm holding too much in, I'm not releasing as much. Everything is hitting very hard, my wonderful beautiful loving wife's MS is getting worse, she has lesions on her brain, she originally was coughing and she's up sick as I will put it. When one good thing happens more bad things happen, I see her health and how her conditions keep worsening and in the back of my mind I keep thinking of our future and my kidney failure along with my liver, I worry, I worry so much about how I can't provide for her the way she needs me too, her health, my health. It feel like everything is collapsing around me, yes I have my loving friends and chosen family but I feel like I'm collapsing I can barely hold on anymore to anything, I get all the breakthroughs and healthy and your healing but then I feel broken and everything is falling apart. I wish I knew the right words to say to say how I feel, I sometimes cry for no reason I'm happy on the outside but falling apart on the inside, I'm trying to be positive but it's hard when it feels like everything is falling apart. I know you guys might be surprised and horrified but with all the stress I smoke, not weed just cigarettes, please do not ridicule me, warn me, or anything, I know how bad they are but it helps me deal with all the battles I go through every single day. But sometimes the cigarettes don't feel like enough sometimes I want to drink wine and lots of it just to mellow out, to ease all the pain, and everything. I try to spread as much love as I can because you can never show enough love in this world same with positivity, I try to be here for everyone, and it's so easy to focus on that instead of your battles and that's what I have an issue with. Maybe that's part of my issue but I go into this crazy battle field in my mind I don't want to be there. I can't breathe I never can breath, I don't know what else to say I'm really bad at this but I'm trying, it's funny how I can say such wise things to others and be there for so many but when it comes to myself it's like a 360. I try to be this strong person and put up the tough chick act, I have to remind myself that if God didn't think I was prepared for any of this, I wouldn't be going through any of this. I'm so sorry my darlings did my chaos, I love you all very much
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Gratitude list 🤍
Positivity & Gratitude / by crimsonRaspberries1486
Last post
 November 12th, 2025
...See more Hello beautiful souls 💖💖💖 I have my coffee ☕ I'm staying hydrated (trying my best) 🩵 Things around here are a little better 🤞🏼 I found a good show to watch with my wife and her mum 😄 ( Jackie the nurse) I take my meds and vitamins everyday 💊❤️‍🩹 We got four inches of snow and it was absolutely beautiful 🩵❄️ (only because I didn't drive in it 😂) I started a new medication that helps me regulate my mood and helps with my nightmares 💙 💜 I'm beyond grateful for my loving caring friends my chosen family and my beautiful wife ❤️ 💖💞 I'm beyond grateful to still be alive and to have choices ❣️ I'm grateful for my healing journey although I do get angry every now and then❤️‍🩹 it's amazing how much growth a person can make when they expect what is happening and choose to grow 🌱 I'm chosing my body and what's best for me, slowly but surely taking care of myself. I haven't shared this with you guys because I haven't been ready to except what is happening but, my doctor called my wife and expressed her concern about my kidneys and liver... From taking PMS pills for over three years basically and everyday they are starting to fail, I cannot seek the medical attention I need due to poor insurance and all that crap. I've been a slight alcoholic but that got out to a halt early on, and it was just wine. But you guys are my friends and big family so you have a right to know my loves.💖💖💖💖 But don't worry about me please I'm strong and I will be okay my doctor caught it on early, there might be nothing I can do but I can at least take my medicine, vitamins, and stay hydrated, I'm trying to be hopeful and positive!💙 I love each and everyone of you kind gentle souls 💖 I know that I've been very quiet but there's just been so much going on that I've been trying to process ❤️‍🩹
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