Chat Between @jesusredeemedme2425 and @azurePond
Hey, Pondie. <3
@jesusredeemedme2425 Hey Kiara!
I have a crush on a guy and it’s confusing me…
Oh. I told you that already lol
@jesusredeemedme2425 Yeah you did... any new developments on that?
Idk. It’s just a mild crush. Someone I can’t actually see myself with…
@jesusredeemedme2425 well....... crushes happen, we have no control over it and it is a crush, there is no rule against having a crush on someone. People even have crushes on celebrities right?.... or do you want any new developments with him?
Also Kiara never sell yourself short, you are a good person that person you should feel honoured imo
I don’t understand the last sentence.
Yeah… idk if I wanna take it to another level or not.
@jesusredeemedme2425 What I meant was—don’t ever feel like having a crush is wrong, or that you don’t deserve it, or that you shouldn’t be feeling that way. You’re a wonderful human being, and you deserve every kind of happiness.
But I might hurt him.
@jesusredeemedme2425 Kiara, you have not reached that stage yet. Anticipation of hurt feels more painful than the actual hurt. So far, he has been a good guy and you are a kind soul who does not hurt others
You don’t know me. You don’t know what I’ve done
@jesusredeemedme2425 Yeah, fair point. But I do not think you are the kind of person who hurts others for fun.. maybe you hurt someone when you felt threaten or you may have involuntary hurt someone.
No… I’ve done stuff.
Saw him today. Crush almost gone.
@jesusredeemedme2425 ooh Kiara...what happened?
@azurePond
A mix of things… I feel little towards him. I’ve heard a negative way he acted towards someone. And the other day I heard him say something else, which, though innocuous, coupled with the other thing, gives me pause and reason to believe he may have anger issues.
Why does EVERY MAN HAVE ANGER ISSUES????
Knock Knock , KIara
Puddles is back from the pond
with a croack croack frog
There’s a frog??? Where???? <3
@jesusredeemedme2425 
Hey Kiara....
So I was just thinking… imagine someone naming their son Reggie and you're like... "Oh! short for Reginald, after your grandfather?"
And they go...."No. short for Refrigerator"
Then there’s Cassie but her full name is Casserole.
Barnie? Short for Barnacle
Ellie—not Eleanor no no—short for Elastic
And Terry? Yeah that’s short for Teriyaki
😭😭
Bahahahahaha That’s EPIC XD
You should make a post about this. ;)
@jesusredeemedme2425 🤣🤣
I feel yucky inside :(
@jesusredeemedme2425 Oh Kiara... you're NOT yucky — you're absolutely amazing, inside and out. Can I ask what brought this thought up just now?
Men. Boundaries. I feel demoralized and beaten after standing up for myself…
@jesusredeemedme2425 If someone sees your boundaries as a threat or as unfair to them.... then they are the problem, Kiara, NOT YOU
I feel like… wearing a blanket so no one can see me anymore.
@jesusredeemedme2425 oh Kiara, you are loved and you are seen. We love you. you do not have to hide *hugs *
I mean from gross men.
@jesusredeemedme2425 Ugh!! gross men — I completely get it. I’d hide too. Has something happened lately? You don’t have to say but I’m here if you want to talk.
Can’t give details… I had to deal with men and boundaries yesterday. I’m so emotionally spent… I couldn’t sleep for a couple of hours last night, tossing and turning from the anxiety… I’m so exhausted now. And scared. Found myself inwardly cringing and cowering when men walked near me…
@jesusredeemedme2425 Hey Kiara, sorry for the late reply. How are you feeling now? I’m really sorry you had to go through that. It takes so much... emotionally, mentally and physically to handle situations where your boundaries are tested or crossed especially with that added layer of fear. It’s completely understandable that your body is still on edge and reacting when men walk near you. Please give yourself time and space to rest right now. What you went through shook your sense of safety and it’s ok to take the time you need to feel steady again.
You’re not alone in this. *covers you in a blanket like a cinnamon roll and hugs yu*
Can I be a cinnamon roll??? Hehe
@jesusredeemedme2425
you already are one <3
Awww <3
My brain is just so confused and loud and anxious and relaxed and bleh
@jesusredeemedme2425 ooh... did u have a busy day?
No… I have mental issues. :(
And now the flu… and a fever.
@jesusredeemedme2425 Oh no… that sounds like a double hit :(
I feel so yucky :(
@jesusredeemedme2425 Oh nooo *waves a wand to banish the yuckiness * ✨ hopefully it works! Do you think it’s the fever making you feel so bad? Did you go to the hospital?
Fever is mostly gone. Now I have a wracking cough…
I think I need to retreat, disappear, for awhile… Not from here, not from life. Just from… being me.
@jesusredeemedme2425 I hear you, Kiara… we all feel like that sometimes and it’s completely ok to want a break from yourself. Just know that you don’t have to dis.appear to be loved—we love you exactly as you are.... even in the moments when it feels heavy to be you<3
See my last post under Needs reply
Check my newest post under general. Beware the TW…
@jesusredeemedme2425 ok..let me check
Yoooooo hehe
@jesusredeemedme2425 Sorry for disappearing on you, Kiara. I needed some time out . I was unwell and recovering and then things just got a bit overwhelming and out of balance. I’m only now catching up on all the notifications. How have you been? I hope you didn’t take my absence personally, and that you’re doing well <3
I’m so sorry, are you ok? <3
Absolutely not… I know people are busy and dealing with stuff <3
biiiigggg hugggggssss <3
@jesusredeemedme2425 Thanks for the hugs, Kiara *biiiigggg hugs for you *
Yeah.. I am not ok.. yet.. I think I will disappear for a while ... again
If you wanna talk about it, I’m here <3 If not, I’ll be here for you too <3
There’s a guy doing bird calls outside. Lol
@jesusredeemedme2425 Ahh sorry for the late reply, Kiara 😅
thank you for that, really. It means more than I can say <3 And haha a guy doing bird calls? that’s either oddly wholesome or slightly concerning 😂 what kind of birds was he summoning out there??
How are you, sis? what's up??
No matter how long, I’ll still be here <3
You’re worth it to me <3
Lol I think he was calling to the crows flying overhead <3
I almost had a breakdown the other day…
Also can’t stop overeating.
What about you??
@jesusredeemedme2425 That means a lot, Kiara.. more than you ever know <3
Crows? why did he call the crows though ..haha... its funny when you think about it
Oh what happened? did something trigger you? how are you holding up?
I am getting better.. I guess.. the ankle is kinda fine now, the wound on my forehead is still there... and I can breathe normally now... and heartbeats all normal.. but I do get occasional shortness of breath and mild pain in the chest
Awww <3
I have no idea, but his crow call was SO spot on lol
Idk… I just… keep eating. My stomach hurts. I’m getting fatter… I disgust myself.
Where are the last 4 symptoms coming from?
@jesusredeemedme2425 Hey Kiara, I get that your mind’s being really cruel rn but you don’t deserve that. You’re not “disgusting.” Period. You’re struggling rn and that’s human. Your body isn’t the enemy. It’s just tired and asking for care. And that translates to food... so let’s be gentle with it today, yeah? eventho it feels like a battle.
idk, my body is the least functioning thing in the world, right next to an iphone brought 3 years ago.
I feel like a bloated whale… out of control.
Lollllll how did you know about how my phone is behaving ;)
@jesusredeemedme2425 Do you feel like all the time or when something triggers you?
Anyway.. you are not a bloated whale, your mind is playing tricks on you
Mostly after I binge. But other times too.
Yep… My phone is doing that planned obsolescence thing lol
Have you seen The Brave Little Toaster?
@jesusredeemedme2425 Does delaying the binge eating helps?
No i havent watched it.. is it a disney movie? * I just googled it*
Sorta?
No, it’s from the 90s or so. It talks about planned obsolescence.
Hey you, how you doing??? <3
@jesusredeemedme2425 Hey sis... I am in a better shape than I was last week.. but overall, I could be better.. How are you?
What happened last week?
I’m good, dealing with my crazy tangle of mental issues as usual, but nothing too unusual lol! Also been finishing up my Christmas cards <3
Hey <3
@jesusredeemedme2425 Hey Kiara, how re you?
Hey girl <3
Sorry, super behind on my notifications lol. I think I had like 200 or so lol
Tired. Was in a bit of a crisis mode the other day (while safe). Wasn’t enjoying things. Bad day. :(
How’ve you been?
@jesusredeemedme2425
Heyy<3
I feel you.. I am mining through my mountain of notifications.
I am glad you are feeling better.
Me too. I have been a bit off lately.. maybe because it is Christmas season.. I get anxious a lot this time of the year
Can you tell how big my pile got? Hehe
Why anxious?
Hey :)
@jesusredeemedme2425 Hey.. how are u Kiara?
Tired. Overate again. Made myself sick. The usual lol, nothing exciting XD
How are youuuuu??? Haven’t seen you around much lately <3
Cool PFP btw <3