For Mario and his alters
＠SyriusSystem
Any of your alters can chat with me here, I may not know all of you but im interested to get to know you guys. Fn Im just gonna call out Mario. Super mario frrrrr. How have you been? I miss you sm its actually been forever since I saw you. How are you guys doing? Are you guys still in the hospital or did you guys go home yet?
@Macylou82
Macioooooooooo!! ive missed u so much frfrr TT-TT whereve u been? hows it goin? did u get a new phone yet?
we out of tha hospital but things in the system and at home havent been rlly- uhmm good? but anywho im happy to hear from u^^
its kinda sad that i cant go to the chat rooms anymore0^0 if only i was still the host frfr
@SyriusSystem I've been around, I can't be on much rn and when I am I lurk then the new rule came out and I talked to your host today, already forgot the name smh, and she said that you couldn't come back to rooms and she said I could make u a forum so I did cause I missed you lol. I haven't gotten a new phone and tbh I think im at the end cause idk life ain't on my side, but its alr. I'm so glad your out of the hospital, but im sorry things aren't great for you either. You can always vent here whenever, just cause u can't be in rooms don't mean u get to leave me lol. I wish u were the host fr but its alr we got this now.
@Macylou82
i fr shouldve made the forum long ago but *** happened.. i wasnt well for a while(still feel a bit off) but thx for making it, im happy to be in touch with my first ever real friend on here(or even irl)
im sorry bout the way u feel and tbh, i feel the same. life aint lifing rn XD- i wanna be able to tell u that things will be better while believing in it.. but i cant, i dont believe that things will get better, but that doesnt mean that they rlly wont
life will never be easy macio, pain is inevitable, it will always exist in our lives, the pain rn, is just a drizzle of the real pain to come but u know what? looking past that pain and enduring it, just for those little moments of happiness that might just come, the little hope that might just save u, as hard as it is to do, i think its worth it
u dont know the adventures u could have, the amazing ppl u could meet, the love u could find, i think enduring the pain rn is worth all those awsome moments in the futur(:
im here for u yk? ik it aint easy to endure but lets do it together, ill be ur rod to lean on and u could be mine<3 (idk if that even makes sense)
our hosts name is leticia btw 0^0
sending big warm hugsss
@SyriusSystem Im glad ur a lil better, but im sorry your still not full well. Aw thank you, thank you for helping me through my first anxiety attack. You're on my mind as I get closer to going back to my old home and idk who is gonna help me this time. Its selfish but I want it to be you again.. Nah its alr I get that fr, im kinda debating leaving before we go back home bc ima be fully honest with you, Mario... im scared. Idk if I can act perfect while having secret attacks, idk if I can eat perfect. Im so scared mario. Tysm for your kind words friend. Im acc so tipsy rn so im sorry if this response sucks but yea drinking helps only thing that does nowadays tbh. It makes sense to my spinning mind, I will be your rod also we will be rods together lmao. Sends warmer huggies and thx fr when I forget ill come over here. Ily acc sm fr
@Macylou82
im happy i was there for u on ur first anxiety attack ^^ it aint selfish of u to wish for me to help again, im here as ur friend and friends help each other so id be more than happy to help u thru this
its natural to be scared, having to hide ur pain from ur family isnt an easy thing to do and not feeling safe in ur own home sucks, it sure doesnt help ease up the pain either but yk u dont have to- see lifes too short to hide all this pain, i hope this forum page is ur safe place, some place where u can let go, where u dont have to be perfect or hide ur pain, ill welcome all ur feelings and i wont judge ill be here with hot coco, ready to listen
u can vent, i may not be there to answer instantly but i assure ya, i will be there for u (for as long as i can) also, as a friend, i just wanna say to becareful, the alcohol may seem like ur ally for now but it might be ur biggest enemy and u wont see it coming.. u should rlly becareful<3 its ok to be scared, its all ok but dont lose urself in the fear
ly moree:3
@SyriusSystem Omg mario if I could cry at your sweet words I would acc be sobbing tysm fr. I hope this forum is your safe space too, we fight together until the end, right? Except if im remembering correctly, which is rare since my memory is acc so bad lol, you like ice cream best so I'll give u ice cream u give me coco. I'm the same, Im not on very often anymore but I will always reply at least once a day at worst, so u can vent talk whatever and im always gonna be here for you until I can't neither. Ik drinking is bad especially at such a young age, 13 btw, but idk it helps even tho its not healthy. Ily more then more XD. Tc my friend fr thx for responding I was worried you would forget about me tbh.
It ain't just sweet words macio, I actlly mean it, like frfr. Till the end huh.. ya let's hope for that ^^
Dw my memory's not that great either, which would explain why Idk if I like ice-cream or not, but it's aight I guess ?lol imma take the ice-cream either way
Also wdym I forgor about u, I thought u forgor abt mee 0_0 XD ily even more than more than more 0^0lol
Anywho,
So how's ur day goin?
@SyriusSystem Lol I will give you alot of ice cream then fr, I have thought about you so many times every day I could never forget you fr. Alr my brain cannot idk know the word lmao. Anyway ily more then more then more then more? Idk if thats right but yea lol. My days going alr bc mother is gone so no school XD. Wbu?
No school? Yeyaa!!! (Even tho I don't go to school XD)
My day wellll, I had a fight with Kevin in the inner world so I'm still kinda *** (he's my brother in DID terms) and he just manages to get on my nerves every time he opens his big mouth smh
@SyriusSystem Lucky fr school sucks, I thought u were 14 lol. Its alr tho age don't matter
14 ?? Do I seem that young fr? TToTT
@SyriusSystem Idk, I just thought that I g
@SyriusSystem I'm sorry fr, I hope things work out between u two. I feel that cause everytime my mom opens her mouth I just get so angry so I get that fr
I fr don't mind how things are between us, I don't wanna reconcile with an idiot who doesn't understand anything about his own brother and takes out his anger on him all the time
@SyriusSystem Im sorry that acc sounds so frusterating fr, ignore my bad spelling.
Bad spelling ignored 😃 ( even tho I also don't kno how to spell)
@SyriusSystem Yay bad spelling crew lol
So what r ur plans for tha day?
@SyriusSystem Chilling on my computer lol, moms gone so I can do whatever I want. Wbu?
Idk maybe I'll paint or smthn, today we got physical therapy and rehab but it's not gonna be me who's front*hopefully *
@SyriusSystem Ooh yea u like to paint that sounds fun. U don't like to front for rehab or pt? cause of the pain or what?
Painting aint as fun as it used to be fr but I try, lol
and hate the touchy touchyness in pt, it's rlly uncomfortable and for rehab I don't got the endurance, also the pain, ya
@SyriusSystem Trying is something, ah alr I get that
@Macylou82 Marioooooooooooo, how was ur day? Did pt and rehab go alr?
Wait ✋️ u is 13!!? I thought u were 15 or smthn XDDD
So we have 3 years of difference, not so much tbh , I think? Ehh
my day was uhm.. not that great
it wasnt me that went to rehab or pt ( thank god!)
hbu?
@SyriusSystem Cause of the fight with kevin or what? My dad wasn't bad and got better cause father bought me another drink, yay parents support the addiction lol. Glad it wasn't u front for that stuff tho fr
@Macylou82 U said know what? Ill say here, what?
@Macylou82 Nvm now im getting it, I think my brain is just dead atp lol. That or bc my brain is fuzzy atm too... Besides the point, yea?
Say wha?
@Macylou82
im confused TToTT
@SyriusSystem I was too lol, I said sh no one needs to know and u said know what and my stupid brain thought u wanted to tell me something, ugh hate my brain fr
Ya sort of, now I think everyone's just against me and it's constant fighting.. it's rlly not fair but anywho
Why ur dad buying u alcohol at 13??
@SyriusSystem I get that fr. Idk when I was five dad intruduced, me to alcohol and at first it was just sips then it got to full drinks and now I purposfully, get stuff that will make me fuzzy lol Its alr tho and remember I am an amazing speller, yea...
@Macylou82
ohhhh dang so it wasnt recent<3 i feel for u, i think ur stronger than that tho, u might not get over it rn, but sooner or later, u wont need the alcohol. hugss
awsome spelling btw, top teir
@SyriusSystem yea idk what my parents were thinking but whatever. Huggis fr and ty sm fr
@Macylou82
thx for what? 0o0 i aint done nothn XD
im just gettin real bad sh urges rn..
@SyriusSystem Aw no, I feel u so hard there fr, resist u got this. Can u distract yourself?
@Macylou82
nope i tried distracting myself, didnt work
man... my streak
@SyriusSystem I'm sorry I lost mine too tonight its not fun, life is not fun at all. Big hugs rn fr
@Macylou82
big hugs frr
@SyriusSystem U alr? Did something trigger the urges?
@Macylou82
im not ok.. adrien keeps yelling i can hear him in the back of my head
i *** hate this.. im so screwed
@SyriusSystem Can u tell them to be quiet? U got this if u haven't already resist, resist my friend u can do it
@Macylou82
i cant... theres too much noise
*** this, i dont *** want another *** panick attack im losing it
@SyriusSystem Can u make the noise quieter? Maybe play some music?
@SyriusSystem Are you alr? Ik how hard it is to resist. Deep breaths, in... out its ok you got this
@Macylou82 Mario talk to me, maybe just to keep the hands busy
im so *** stupid...
@SyriusSystem No ur not don't say that. I get the urges trust me, I get the attacks tho mine aren't as bad. Im so sorry, are you doing better now?
@Macylou82
no, it wont stop bleeding
@SyriusSystem Can u put a towel, bandage?
@Macylou82
im using a paper towel
@SyriusSystem Ok is it slowing down? Did it stop fully?
@Macylou82 Mario, did it stop?
@Macylou82
it stopped now.. finally
@SyriusSystem Ok thats good, im so sorry I acc get it sm fr. U doing better now?
@Macylou82
honestly i feel like crap fr rn
@SyriusSystem Im sorry fr, maybe do something u enjoy to make urself feel better?
@Macylou82
srry that u understand how it feels, its rlly awful fr
@SyriusSystem It is and I hate that your going through it too
And I think I stained our clothes TToTT ain't no wayy
@SyriusSystem Aw no, I hope it wasn't a shirt/short or pants that you really liked, I acc did the same with a pair of my new pj shorts... oops
@Macylou82
loll
my concerne is explainin this to our foster folks 0-0
cause they thought we were clean now
im in deep *** TToTT
its aight tho, just laugh it off.. haha-^^ we all good
@SyriusSystem Im sorry, my mom thinks the same and sooner or later I'll be in the same postion as you again... Is it somewhere that u can explain it as an accident maybe?
Ketchup would be my go to excuse but the stain will be too obvious
My other excuse is nose bleed, which happens often🤌 but again, the stain gives it away sooooo idk now
@SyriusSystem Ugh that fr sucks. What about throwing the clothes straight into the washer?
That could work but I can't get on the wheel chair to get to tha machine, it hurts too much
Or I could just throw the t-shirt in the trash 🗑 🤷
@SyriusSystem Oh yea im sorry I totally forgot that u got that. Do u like the shirt enough to keep it?
I mean, I don't give a shi about the t so it's aight XD
@SyriusSystem Maybe do that, idk to me it all depends on how the adults respond. With my mom I would throw away the clothes but thats because Ik she would flip out but if ur fosters would be chill keep it? Idk really
@Macylou82
i dont think they would even notice XD theres a lot of things goin on rn
@Macylou82
i hope it goes better with ur mom, fingers crossed frfrr
@SyriusSystem Thx but nothing between me and my mother will ever be good, its alr tho, kinda not really lol
@Macylou82
felt on a spiritual levelll , thats how it was with our mom
@SyriusSystem Man u being so relatable tonight fr. Im sorry u get this tho
Sorry u too man, nobody deserves this bull
Thx for being here with me, if it was just me it would've been 1000 times worse XD
Also sorry I wasn't there when it happened for u, yk I'm here for u right? This is what this forum thingy is for ❤️ I wanna help u too
@SyriusSystem Thx but idk I was just really tipsy I didn't even try to resist and I could barely walk and I was only 7 days clean bc of a challenge im doing with my friend so its fr alr
Oooh 7 days clean is 👌 good job 👏 nice challenge frfr
@SyriusSystem ty fr but it ain' that good ur streak was prob longer
@SyriusSystem I agree and ofc what are friends, or macios for?
Frfrr macros r the best ever 🤙 ( if that makes sense somehow)XD
@SyriusSystem Nah mario's r better fr
Ehhhh arguablee
@SyriusSystem Eh but its true
Nahh I ain't all that .. I'm just, heck Idek what I am
@SyriusSystem Amazing awesome, always there for me, an amazing hugger? I could keep going yk
@Macylou82
i think u describin urself frfr
ur like the best human being ive ever met
@SyriusSystem No im not you don't know the real me, the real me is really bad. The real me should be dead by now
The real u is the person u wanna be, and I bet they cool af
@SyriusSystem Mario... Im a murder alr there u go im a *** murder I am not a good person trust me. Yes it was an animal but that dont change so no im not at all a good person
U regret it don't u? U feel guilty don't u? That shows that ure a good person, u ain't a murder macio, ure a genuinely good person, who cares for others, who has much more compassion than I could ever have, someone who has taught me so much without even realizing it, an I respect u for who u r fr
@SyriusSystem Ofc I do and its not like I meant to, but mario it will haunt me forever, I let her jump. I rescued that kitty off the streets to let her jump off my *** lap and ofc she was too weak and well 30min she was gone. Mario I can't live with that I just need to go through and get it over with. But tysm fr for ur kind words they mean alot fr
They're not just some kind words I cliche outta my thumbs, they're the truth macio, now ik how hard it is to witness death, trust me, I saw my dog getting killed right infront of me, *** was terrifying and I never got over it.. but here we are, still alive, still grieving, idk if I'll be able to get over it or if ull be able to, but here we are.. we've got this, idk how, but we've got this, surely
@SyriusSystem Yea my bunny passed away in someone else's arm's and I still regret not holding him for his last breath. Grieving is stupid fr why does it gotta be so painful? Rip your dog fr,im sorry and thx for being here with me on this horrible journey, we fight together fr
Soreu bout ur bunny fr ❤️ I hope thers a heavn fr animals so that MN dog snn cfuvk bd tkngthr
@SyriusSystem Me too fr, are u alr?
@Macylou82 Man forums r weird, alr the important thing is... Are you feeling better?
Frr it has a buncha lines now XD
Idk how I feel but I can breathe better now 👍
Hbu? How u feelin? I hope I didn't trigger u
@SyriusSystem Lol felt, im glad your breathing better. Im fine dw im just slowly coming back to reality and ofc craving another drink...
I feel u, ngl kinda wanna get high rn, reality sucks
@SyriusSystem It really does, we resist tho right? That and I don't have another drink... Besides the point tho
@Macylou82
some of our meds have that drug effect, but i aint goin thru another overdose.. last time was so scary
@Macylou82 How you been doing these last couple days? Anything happen?
Hai Macy 👋 hru ?🙃 [ti's rin]
m bored
@Macylou82 You guys got anything fun planned for the weekend?
hallo marioo0^0 hows it goin?
our computor broke down💀
