Reconnecting
Hi @helgyafy @tinywhisper11 @mytwistedsoul
I hope you don’t mind me creating this thread. I’m sorry, I haven’t been online lately and I couldn’t find where we’ve chatted before. I think of you all often and the kindness you’ve shown me, and I wonder how you’re doing. I really hope you’ve been well. I’m sending you prayers. Please pray for or think of me too when you have a moment. Please let me know how you’ve been.
❤️
@PiecesOfWhoeverIWas hi everyone 💖💖 how are you all?? I've been taking a back seat here at cups while I work on myself. But I'm still here lurking in the shadows and thinking of you all 💖 I love you all so much 💖💖
@Tinywhisper11 Sending you and everyone else here lots of love! ❤️❤️
@Tinywhisper11 I’ve been feeling pretty good the last couple days. How are you feeling?
@PiecesOfWhoeverIWas I'm waiting for my spinal injections, so right now in alot of pain😥 but mentally doing much better 💖💖
@PiecesOfWhoeverIWas Replying here to your recent post. (Sorry if that is annoying 💙)
There's nothing wrong with wanting to be the first one to reach out, to let things go, to try for a clean slate. But it's also important to be honest with yourself. We give people the benefit of the doubt and say, maybe it's hard for them, but isn't it hard for you too?
Things like this, reconnecting, trying again while carrying fear, they often end up feeling like a repeating movie. The novelty of forgiveness wears off fast sometimes.
Forgiveness, distance, trying again, whatever you choose is valid 💗 Just make sure you're choosing it from clarity and not fear. Take small steps, have caution even when it's all love and rejoicing on their part. Because if it goes down the same road again, the idea of being hurt might sting less than feeling like a fool, because that's where the mind tends to go- self blame.
Hope this isn't too negative sounding 💗
@BlueDarkAurora ❤️❤️
You are the best. ❤️ It’s definitely ok to reply here! I thought about posting here too but I worried it might be too negative/triggering. And your response isn’t too negative at all. It is looking at things in a logical way. I don’t want to be making such a big decision based on emotion, which can change, and which I think is what that was.
I have felt such peace over the years when I’ve thought about the situation before. Obviously I still struggle with things, but my struggles were very different and debilitating before. I did so much healing just by physically getting away and feeling safer. Prior to that I just seemed stuck in the same. I’m definitely not mentally strong enough to handle things going badly. Sometimes I have a good couple days and start to think I’m invincible. But I should know by now that things can change rapidly. I get knocked down easily. It’s getting better, but that’s with balancing my current stressors. If I added that mountain back on, I probably wouldn’t be at my best for me or my kids.
Thank you for reading it and being here for me. ❤️ How have you been feeling last few days?
@PiecesOfWhoeverIWas If something feels negative or triggering you can always put a trigger warning at the start ^-^ but do share anyway :D
You've taken some really important and really tough steps in your life. You've built a home for yourself and kept the people you love safe and protected, no matter what was happening around you.
It's sad that kind people like you still end up dealing with those who aren't so kind. It's draining but at the same time how could a mountain spring ever really run dry? Your kindness always finds its way into the world, inside and out. Like how you're always so nice to me 💗
You're strong. Breaking down at difficulties does not define strength, you getting back up every time does. Even with everything changing so fast you still manage to find that sense of invincibility again. I hope that one day such difficulties won't be a part of your life at all 💕
I'm honestly not sure how to answer how I've been feeling. It's a lack of hope, where the heart has given up before the brain xD I'm just hoping that the universe takes some pity and throws me a line.
@BlueDarkAurora There’s so many nuggets of wisdom in your words. Your replies are like a good book that I read over a few times and find some new insight each time through. It makes my brain happy talking with you. 😃
Do you want to share any of what you’re dealing with? I don’t want to seem pushy. I just wish I could give back some of what you give to me. There may be less nuggets of wisdom, and more nuggets of chicken. 😂 In the meantime, I want you to know that even when I’m not online here, I am thinking of you throughout my day and hoping good things for your life. You and everyone here. ❤️🙏
@PiecesOfWhoeverIWas aww 💗
I got a wish, something that was really good, I got too confident and thought I deserved better and let it go. Now all the better wishes don't think I'm deserving. Somewhere I'm lacking the hard work, and this makes me feel like the first wish was just random luck.
Maybe my heart's always scared and the fears are reaching above as prayers. Cause life moved in ways that made me give up on things I once begged to get.
@BlueDarkAurora I understand what you’re saying. ❤️ I have felt this way before too in situations, having made choices I felt differently about afterward. I’m sorry you’re feeling like your decision had this effect. I know you made the decision you thought best at that time. That’s not a bad thing. Now looking back, it probably does feel like something missed, because the ideal hasn’t come around yet. But what if your confident decision really was the right choice? What if the right thing is still on its way? I’m so sorry you’re going through this. I know how regret and wondering can eat us alive. Maybe there was something to learn from that experience that will help you be on the lookout when the right path presents itself. Keep trying and keeping your eyes and ears open. I believe opportunities don’t just stop coming. But there are real forces that want us to lose hope and use our fear against us. I really hope things get better for you soon. It’s easy for me to ask you to keep having hope, but you’re living it every day with the constant let downs and sadness. It’s ok to not feel hopeful. Maybe let the feeling rest. Just keep your eyes and ears open, for whatever alternatives might present themselves. ❤️ hugs to you. I’m still praying for you.
@PiecesOfWhoeverIWas hiiiii everyone 💖💖 I know I haven't been around lately, I'm in incredible pain😥 but good news my spinal injections are next week 😁 yaaay! Hopefully I'll be around a bit more then💖💖💖 how are you all doing?? Did everyone have a nice thanksgiving??? I've really missed you all, gives you all giant tiny hugs 💖💖 has soul been around?!?? I haven't seen any signs of him!? I worry alot about my big brother 💖 I love you all 💖💖
@Tinywhisper11 I’m glad your injections will happen soon! I’m sorry you’ve been in so much pain sweetie. ❤️ I’m glad you are taking time for yourrself to do whatever you need.
@PiecesOfWhoeverIWas hugs you tightly 💖 I love you 💗
@Tinywhisper11 I love you too angel. ❤️
@mytwistedsoul I’ve been noticing you have been quiet for a while. We are missing you. Take your time, just know you are thought of. We love you Twist. ❤️
@PiecesOfWhoeverIWas Xmas is always a difficult time for soul 😥 I just hope he's ok 💖
Soul you know I'm here for you, we all are 💖 don't struggle silently, you can lean on us 💖 hugs you tightly 💖 I love you 💗
@PiecesOfWhoeverIWas twas the night before xmas and all through the house not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse.... I probably should invested in one of those carbon monoxide detectors😕
@Tinywhisper11 😂😂😂😂
@Tinywhisper11 😂😂
Poor Mickey Mouse!
@PiecesOfWhoeverIWas 😂😂😂
Friends, you are all on my heart. ❤️
@PiecesOfWhoeverIWas You're in ours. ❤️
@PiecesOfWhoeverIWas 💖💖💖💖
Sending you all lots of love and hugs. I appreciate you all. ❤️
Sending you strength Tiny. I hope your shot comes soon to ease your pain. ❤️
@mytwistedsoul Twist! It’s good to see you! How are you doing friend?
@mytwistedsoul thanks soul 💖 I had my injections earlier today😁💖 I love you soul 💖
@PiecesOfWhoeverIWas BlueDarkAurora are you doing ok sweetie?!?
@Tinywhisper11 yes 💗 How are you doing?
@BlueDarkAurora I'm glad your ok 💖💖 I'm doing great and yessss I'm always ready for xmas 😁😁 guess what I did yesterday???? Ok I'll just tell you😁 I learnt how to hard wire a oven into the electrics, without getting electrocuted 😁😁 yaaaay! Have you got a advent calendar?? I got a grinch one😁💖 is Xmas a happy time of year for you??
@Tinywhisper11 aww so glad to hear that ^-^ 💗 Electric tiny *-*
And nope I don't have the patience xD
@BlueDarkAurora 😂😂😂😂😂 get one chocolate advent calendar, and 2 so you can just nibble whenever your feeling impatient💖💖😁😁
@Tinywhisper11 That's a good idea *-*
@PiecesOfWhoeverIWas
I just got home to find all the Windows open and everything gone 😱😱😱 what kind of sicko would do this to my advent calendar 😩😩
😂😂😂😂😂😂
@Tinywhisper11 oh no :O
@BlueDarkAurora 😂😂😂😂
