Reconnecting
Hi @helgyafy @tinywhisper11 @mytwistedsoul
I hope you don’t mind me creating this thread. I’m sorry, I haven’t been online lately and I couldn’t find where we’ve chatted before. I think of you all often and the kindness you’ve shown me, and I wonder how you’re doing. I really hope you’ve been well. I’m sending you prayers. Please pray for or think of me too when you have a moment. Please let me know how you’ve been.
❤️
@PiecesOfWhoeverIWas I'm going to see the nutcracker on Saturday 😁 not the play though, just my partners mother
@Tinywhisper11
@PiecesOfWhoeverIWas
Be proud of the steps no one saw you take 💗
@BlueDarkAurora I can't even see me take steps😂 in defeeted😂😂
@Tinywhisper11 *-* but but your heart does
@BlueDarkAurora
@Tinywhisper11
@WorkingitThrough2 I hope you are alright 💖 Miss you :)
@BlueDarkAurora we all miss you💖
@PiecesOfWhoeverIWas
@BlueDarkAurora Thank you friend. ❤️ I love you too. How have you been? How have you really been?
@PiecesOfWhoeverIWas I'm alright ^-^
How have you been? 💗
@BlueDarkAurora I’m alright too. ☺️
Is Christmas an enjoyable season for you or a harder one? I think it’s both for me in different ways. What is your favorite time of year?
Just so you know, you are very special person to me. ❤️❤️
@PiecesOfWhoeverIWas Thank you for saying that, it made me smile 💓
This season doesn't hold much weight but winter feels a bit heavy. I think the failures I've faced are adding to it all. But that's okay, I can't skip to the good part ^^ have to go through it all to reach there.
I'm glad to know you're alright, I'm happy for you. You deserve all the happiness 💗 Hope You know that I will always have so much love and respect for you.
Oh and I wanted to ask about how the difficult part of Christmas is like for you?
I like winter xD it was a happy time till it wasn't.
@BlueDarkAurora I’ve been thinking about you a lot with the setbacks you’ve faced recently. I’m not going to say anything to force positivity. I just want you to know I’ve been wondering how you’re doing and feeling this wish to help relieve you of some of the sadness. I walk with you while you feel whatever you’re feeling. ❤️❤️
@PiecesOfWhoeverIWas "I walk with you while you feel whatever you’re feeling." :))))))))))))) 💓
I hope your lovely family keeps getting bigger and bigger and everyone is held with love, support and genuine care always 💗
@mytwistedsoul Hi Twist! Please forgive me, I’ve been sitting here thinking that I’m pretty sure I bugged you lately, So I hope I don’t annoy you, but I’m going to do it again. I can’t help notice when I don’t see you posting a lot, and I wonder how you’re doing. I’m not sure when I logged on last, so I should probably search around before writing this, I think there are a lot of everyone’s news I miss. But I figured regardless maybe this note would just let you know my heart is thinking about your heart.
There are so many things to think and feel this time of year. I hope you would come to this thread if you need, to vent, for company, or talk about something deep. Big and small things are ok here. Thank you for all the times you’ve been there for me.
@PiecesOfWhoeverIWas There's nothing to forgive dear Pieces. You haven't bugged me at all. I apologize if I did or said something to make you think that. I don't always get notifications, if I missed one from you I am truly sorry ❤️
@mytwistedsoul 💜💕
@BlueDarkAurora 💜💜
@mytwistedsoul I love you soul 💖
@Tinywhisper11
@BlueDarkAurora
@mytwistedsoul
@BlueDarkAurora
@mytwistedsoul
@BlueDarkAurora I love you even more💖💖💖💖
@Tinywhisper11
@BlueDarkAurora 💖💖💖💖💖💖
@Tinywhisper11
@mytwistedsoul
@mytwistedsoul You haven’t done anything to make me feel that way at all, don’t worry. ❤️ It’s just my own memory lapses. 😅
I don’t want to push because I hope you are sharing as you want and feel most comfortable. I also get a feeling maybe you feel like you can’t or shouldn’t write when you need. I’m sorry if that’s wrong or overstepping. I’ve deleted that several times. I don’t mean to make you feel like you have to write either. Maybe I’m writing this from my own experience, if you ever find yourself in that place where you’re sitting in a room feeling alone in the world, or like you’re going to explode, or feel panicked and don’t know where to turn, or so down you can’t see how anything’s going to get better, know you have a place here where your feelings matter. You still don’t have to write if you don’t want, just know you aren’t alone and are cared for. It doesn’t matter if you think you’ve already talked about it, or it’s something that won’t change. I promise I will try my best to not try to make you feel better, just listen.
Don’t feel like you have to be anything, Twist. Please try to take good care of yourself. You’re good people. You really are. You don’t have to only be here for other people. And when your heart needs time for you, that’s perfectly fine.
I’m going on too long. I’m sorry if I’m going on about nonsense. I thought maybe I picked up on something familiar. I know you have a lot going on that I have no concept of. But maybe we are similar in some thoughts that stop us from writing.
Take care Twist. I love you. ❤️
@PiecesOfWhoeverIWas You haven't overstepped and you aren't wrong.
@tinywhisper11 How are you dearheart?
What is your favorite part of Christmastime?
@PiecesOfWhoeverIWas hi sweetie 💖💖 I'm doing ok 😁💖 favourite part of xmas🤔🤔🤔 allllllll of it😁 I lovvveee xmasss😁💖 hope your enjoying some festivities with your little ones💖💖
@PiecesOfWhoeverIWas people here at the care home hate xmas😮 they don't like me wishing them a merry Xmas😥 it doesn't matter if I greet them from over or under the toilet door😥
@Tinywhisper11 Do you knock first? 🤭
@mytwistedsoul nope I try to make it a surprise😁😁
@Tinywhisper11
@PiecesOfWhoeverIWas if he can do it why can't I !?!?
@Tinywhisper11
@Tinywhisper11 xD
oh no what is this gif xD wth
@BlueDarkAurora 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
How are we feeling?
@BlueDarkAurora I’m feeling like it would be really nice if, in 2026 and beyond, I could have a thought and it just stay that. It takes me so long to get to that thought to begin with, for goodness sake. I wish my brain wouldn’t feel ok about something one minute, and then 3 minutes later tear it all apart wondering if I said the wrong thing, if I shouldn’t have said anything, if I’m a bad person, if I’m just stupid. etc. I hold off and wait, hoping that when I get to a decision it will feel right. And it does! So how is it that within moments it all goes out the window? I can’t even predict my own mind.
@PiecesOfWhoeverIWas I can relate to this all too well. ❤️
@mytwistedsoul It’s maddening, isn’t it? I’d like to be done with all the fear. Unfortunately experiences keep showing me my fears coming true, so it’s hard to change my thoughts. I imagine we’re supposed to just not care if we get hurt or rejected? Sometimes I can almost get there, but ultimately deep down I really want to connect genuinely with someone.
Just yesterday, I decided to try to relax and be myself with a few people. (You can tell Ashley where this is going. 😂) They’re always joking around and telling me to not be so sensitive or read too much into their jokes. So I did my little internal debating and eventually put my own joke into the mix. It wasn’t making fun of anyone, and a couple people thought it was funny, but this one person who’s always telling me to lighten up ended up getting offended by it. They just sent me a sad face, and my heart dropped. I don’t fully understand why they got upset, I apologized, they said it was because they’re in a funk about Christmas and it didn’t really have anything to do with me. I understand and it’s ok. Still, it created this whole awkwardness after, which I think wouldn’t have happened if I just stayed quiet. It’s like even the smallest things keep just showing me that I don’t belong. There’s so much effort put in just to end up back at square one over and over. I’m too old for this nonsense.
How are you Twist?
@PiecesOfWhoeverIWas I don't think that it's that we're not supposed to care but that we're supposed to cope with it in a healthy way? In all honesty, not all my silence is fear related, it's mostly just a realistic observation that no one actually cares anyway.
@BlueDarkAurora With my hands mostly
@mytwistedsoul 😂 So true
@mytwistedsoul aw ^^ I'm sorry 💙 I meant to say how is everyone doing as the year comes to an end. Sometimes the close of a chapter can bring up a lot of emotions.
@BlueDarkAurora Nothing to be sorry for! I'm the one who should apologize, for being a smart alec. This is a bad time of year and it does bring up a lot of feelings.... and memories.
@mytwistedsoul Absolutely not 💗
@BlueDarkAurora ❤️
