TK Reboot
A chat between two platonic friends from across the interwebs.
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Where’d you go lol
I'm here? 😅 I've been on weekend mode I guess. I got some hot wings and wandered stores. Thinking about having a Christmas town in the guinea pig room someday. Also, I love aisles where I'm surrounded by plants or lights on both sides, but I also kinda like aisles where I'm surrounded by pillows or baskets.
I’m reading “The Only Thing to Fear”. It sounds like something you’d be into.
Ooh, cool. Why's that?
It’s, what if WWII had a different outcome? There’s both romance and a sci-fi twist. Imagine if they conquered America, and then later had access to AI and robotics??? (That’s not quite the premise, but imagine???)
Heh, interesting. Ugh... Really sounds like what's going on in today's world though...
I try not to think about that… It’s hard sometimes tho. Anxiety city…
Seriously. I see something new and impossibly ugly going on every day it seems...
I wish we could discuss it but… eh. Would prolly up our anxiety levels anyway.
Whatcha doin today? :)
Laying back in my chair at work and mostly resting my eyes. I'm done with all my work for a bit, all my Duolingo goals, my reading/writing goals too. What about you?
More than anything, I'm trying not to get sucked into disliking myself... I woke up from a rough nightmare last night. Could swear that there was a presence watching me. Maybe with a yellow face. Up in the corner...
Why not try drawing? You should get that book I recommended <3
I’m reading “Good Boundaries and Goodbyes”. Also hoping to clear out my emails.
Why would that make you dislike yourself?
Was it real or the dream? It sounds a tiny bit like schizophrenia…
Maybe I will draw something... What book was it again?
It wasn't the dream itself that made me dislike myself.. like, the dream started out nice. It was like, some mansions upper floor where spirits were happy. My grandma was up there, dancing by, and I met a spirit named Bernhard that apparently was helpful to my granny. I went around and it was super chill, and then I went to explore a corner with a white translucent wall. Suddenly, it darkened to gray, and there was a booming sound of thunder. I ran out to the main halls, and this evil spirit of a woman came sprinting out of another area, wailing in fury. Her skin was a dark gray, and she was coming at me in a zigzag. I was about to fight her, when suddenly she slowed down, and I woke up.
It was dark in the room, but I was cold with the blanket thrown off. I pulled it back up, and felt a presence. In the pitch black on my unfocused eyes, I saw a faint yellow up in the corner of the room... It kind of formed a face, and I was kind of fearlessly banishing it in my mind, in the name of all that is good, and it spoke to me without speaking to me, mocking me. It was more of a feeling than a message... Just that, I have no right to talk about good, feeling like I'm a hypocrite and a liar, and it's true. If so many people that I treasure knew what I've done, they would despise me... And I feel like the evil I've seen in the world during this year has shown me the limits of my forgiveness. I'd like to believe that I would usher the world into true recompense, a beautiful place, where all come together without suffering... Where evil is erased... If only I had the power. But then... What about all the people who were corrupted? Am I truly any better? I can't see anything good that really has anyone forgiven or safe... That's not who I am anymore. I feel like I have to be prepared to keep fighting, to not haunt myself, to learn from my mistakes... It just hurts when I think of how I've taken others for granted...
Mark Kistler’s Draw Squad. I think it’s cheaper on Half-Price Books (an online site) than on Amazon.
Maybe God’s telling you something…
Huh, maybe it's worth a look. The cover of that book kinda cracks me up. XD
Well, all I can really say on that is that I'm open to messages that I can learn good things from. I kind of believe in a good force that occasionally guides the super-vigilant, but... I truly don't ever think I can get past what I think about the Bible to ever consider myself Christian again.
Why? Lol
Are you making it about you… or about Him?
Lol, it's the dude's face on the cover. 😂
See, that's a question I could see Christians asking themselves. 😅 Ok, ok, but I do have a serious answer... Neither! I'm making it about what's truly right, what's humane, what's actually useful to all the innocent people falling through the cracks or trapped in cycles of abuse. And... I feel like the Bible has only worked against all of that in the big picture. I feel like there are truths in there, and good messages as well... But nothing in there seems like it proves to me that God actually loves anyone. Furthermore, I'm heavily bothered by the new testament having such a focus on believing in Christianity. There's so much hate that comes with that... The individual Christian doesn't have to believe in that hate, but leaders use it all the time... To divide, to conquer, to further their agendas. It's all so abusable... It makes people forget what's actually important when the group around them starts feeling like hatred toward another group is righteous and justified.
Llama llama duck.
Llamas and ducks to have waffles and watch bad horror movies with?
No horror. Pixar. Hehe
Lol, well .. Pixar is indeed good, so ok. 😁
I still wanna see the live-action HTTYD. <3
Ooh, me too. I'm just learning about that. I really liked the original
I wanted to see it in the theaters, but yk… Kiara. Kiara is scared to do things on her own…
Kiara shouldn't be scared. You know what I like? I get energized by going places alone lately. I don't do it often, but I kinda pretend it's a field trip or that I'm really supposed to be at work. Makes it feel more like an adventure
Driving makes me nervous, being alone makes me sad sometimes, I’ve never been to a theater alone…
I dunno how to help with the driving part... What gets to you about the idea of being in a theater alone though?
I’m so used to doing it with friends… It would be so lonely. Also, the thought of buying the tickets and stuff myself. I have social anxiety….
You could always but the ticket online and just scan in on your phone. As for the lonely part... I dunno. I've only gone to a theater alone once. For me, it was only weird before the movie started, and after that it was ok.
I wrote a character for a D&D superhero type game, and his main hobbies were cooking and going to the movies alone. Just the concept of doing that reminds me of him every time. I miss tabletop games like that...
I get super lonely sometimes. I wonder if it would make it worse…
I feel it… I miss… my friends. Playing games. Laughing…
I get that. I feel that way sometimes, and it used to be all the time. Whatever happened to all those friends?
My Bible study is no more, and therefore, I don’t exist to them.
Those were all the friends that came to mind? They didn't even seem like good people, the way you described them...
They were. Until they weren’t.
What changed?
...I know what you mean with that... I used to have a group that we called "the pack" or "family". I still cringe at the word "family"
They must not really have cared about me in the first place.
Why?
...same, I guess. They were like a hivemind. One dismisses me, and then the rest do too. It was always like that. It's no wonder I spend so much time playing with the dog when we all got together.
...I really miss having a tabletop gaming group though.
I'm sorry that you've had to go through that on your end. That group seems so fake. It really sounded like you made a lot of effort to keep up connection and everything.
Do you still hang with them?
I mean… dogs are cool. Hehe
Why not start another one?
I tried SO hard.
No, I haven't for 7 years now... And dogs really are cool.
I've tried to start another one, but it's hard. Most people have kids, and having kids involved just doesn't typically work so well. Friends say that they're interested, but then they don't do it. I've gone to so many lengths to create good games, and it just doesn't pan out. Trying to find outside people hasnt worked either... I was with a different group for a bit, but they just played too differently, and I still felt like an outsider to all the inside stuff after doing that for months.
Because of that fact?
Have you tried Meetup?
Depends on which fact? They betrayed me on a deeper level. I leave the light on for most people I've met, but I wouldn't take them back as friends if they begged me.
Meetup... I tried it in NYC... I don't remember how it went actually
Betrayed you how?
Wym?
Why not start your own Meetup?
They turned their back on me over my unaliving myself attempt.
I might start one eventually, I just have a lot on my plate. I've got people who are supposedly interested, so if only I could make that work...
That’s a great way to treat someone who obviously needs support.
What’s on your plate?
Right? That went even deeper too... Stuff that's harder to go into...
Hanging out with a few friends lately, and trying to make time for gaming, pets, and workouts.
It’s ok. You don’t have to tell me. <3
You have more of a life than me lol
Thanks ❤️
Lol, I have a weird life full of the most misfit possible friends if that's what you mean. 😅 But some really good friends mixed in there too
Bro, that’s literally me! I’m friends with all kinds of people- the outcasts and people on the spectrum and people with disabilities and older people and such. Like, all the people that “cool” people would consider “uncool” (even though they’re obviously not!). I love that about me. How I take them under my wing. Because people have taken me (the weird autistic girl) under their wings too <3
Heheh, pretty much the same here. 😁
Maybe because we know what it’s like to be the outcasts.
I'm sure that's definitely a big part of it. Outcasts are more fun anyway.
Right???? <3
I have feels…
Feels?
Emotions?
Bout what?
Kicking one toxic friend partially out of my life, watching a guy friend realize his girl is abusing him, stressed over getting the Christmas cards done…
Oh man, that is a lot going on. What's effecting you the most?
Do you think anyone even cares about these stupid Christmas cards I’m making?
I mean, I'm sure that they mean a little to most of them. But if even just one person is super touched and it makes a difference for them, isn't it worth it?
I guess. I just feel bleh about them sometimes.
That's the biggest reason why I can't do them. I always feel bleh about them. You've done so many though. I'm sure it's making a good difference
Why bleh?
You think so?
Because, I dunno, it doesn't feel personal or sincere after a while... Mostly because I get lazy with it. 😅
And I do absolutely think so. You've been seeing this through for a while, and I bet the effect it has would surprise you.
I feel it. Hehe
Some people say it’s the only Christmas card they get every year.
Aww, see! That's a huge difference for them! That's super cute and nice
Thanks :)
You keep me sane. <3
I'm glad. 😊 You do too honestly... I feel like a few friends are draining my sanity lately, and I'm glad you're here to balance that out
Awww, I’m sorry :(
I try :)
😊
One of my friends is a Kratom addict, and I don't know what to do...
A what addict?
Kratom. Its basically a legal drug. It doesn't usually have a lot of bad effects I guess, when used responsibly. But he went over 3 times the daily allowment and... Getting over the addiction has been said to be harder than most of the hardest drugs.
Why is it legal??
I’ve never even heard of it.
Wow. That’s crazy… I’m sorry :(
It has been questioned as to whether it should be legal. A lot of people who haven't gone for things like hemp oil or THC haven't heard of it. It's supposed to work as a mood stabilizer or painkiller.
Anyhow, I can't tell how well he's actually doing... He gets so twitchy and antsy so quickly. He hasn't been himself for a very long time
Wow. Has he sought rehab?
He couldn't before due to work. Now he claims he's getting it under control... I think I've confronted that as much as I can. I just wish he'd understand that getting clean is a priority over getting another job. Like, yes, he needs a job, but... seriously... It's not only hard to hold down a job as an addict, but it'd be harder to get clean while working hard.
Exactly. You can’t have one without the other.
I AM SO STRESSED OUT
That doesn't sound good. What's got you?
300+ Christmas cards XD
Maybe set the bar a little lower next year? 😅 You probably shouldn't exhaust yourself over this so often
See my other post. I just responded to Twistie about that very same thing lol
Whatcha gonna do for Thanksgiving? <3
I don't know exactly... Something simple at home, with my mom and a friend or two. We were supposed to have Friendsgiving... But it might just be me visiting them. No one is really talking to him because he's still dating that girl... I won't treat a friend like that though. Especially not him.
Please remind me that I can’t eat candy anymore… It hurts my teeth sooooo bad. Like right NOW. Owwwww… :(
Psssh, why you eating all this candy? We ain't kids anymore! 😂
I know the feeling, ever since I had to get a crown on one tooth. I feel like candy hurts my teeth easily, no matter how well I take care of them. I'm lucky though, I actually don't really like most candy. I make a few exceptions though. Ever tried Peelers? Most of their flavors taste like actual fruit, and it doesn't seem to mess with my teeth so much.
Because we have some in the house hehe
You have a crown, too??? Ok, why do crowns hurt? They don’t have roots! Lol
I don’t eat candy often. I just regret it when I do. Lol
I just heard of them like 3-4 days ago lol. Never tried. Are they good? Are the ingredients yucky?
Lol I get that. And crowns get pulled on easily.
And same usually lol. Yeah, peelers are pretty good. I like the lychee and mango ones a lot
Mine just hurts for no reason. It’s not even alive! Lol
I had pastry this morning and it hurt. No sweets for me I guess…
I've had the same issue before. Just any reason can make it do that sometimes.
Maybe you just need a break for a day or two on stuff like that. A few teeth brushings within that time, and it might be better
I’m getting a cleaning soon, and I’m going to ask if I have any cavities.
They'll let you know if you do. It's pretty normal for gums to start feeling sensitive and having some pain with eating stuff, especially just before it's time to get another cleaning
Yeah but this pain has been going on for a long time. Not constant, just periodically.
Whatcha mean?
I said what I said ;)
No really. It’s been happening for awhile.
It's common for it to be regular gum pain too, so don't worry too much.
Overate again. Ugh.
Oh lawd... I did too, yesterday. Or all of last week. Today is day one of being good. So far I am... I hope i can keep it uo
Didn’t see this. Ate an entire box of Mac and cheese. And dessert later.
That sounds tasty and not so bad. An entire box of Mac and cheese isn't even that big is it? That's like... 2 servings tops
More than I should have eaten.
It's not so bad, it's a process to fight this