TK Reboot
A chat between two platonic friends from across the interwebs.
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Go post in my new food posts hehe! 4 more last night :)
How’s Torean?
I just wanna feel safe with a guy.
I took a look, I like how diverse this is getting. Learned about some new ones. 😁
Anyway, I'm ok... Under the weather from allergies.
What is it that you're going through?
As for feeling safe with a guy, you mean as in a relationship?
Right??? <3 Any other culture ideas?
I’m sorry :(
Physical stuff. Not having a great time rn… Haven’t even gotten out of bed yet. I should…
I mean like… Idk. Love doesn’t exist. I just wanna feel loved for who I am, yk? But also I know that won’t happen, and I know none of that made sense together lol
I think you still haven't done Thai yet? I've seen most others. You could try doing a British one too. Or Dutch?
Sall good... Sounds like you're having a rougher time than me today though. Maybe some fresh air could help?
And why won't that happen? You're very loveable for who you are. You very much deserve to feel loved
Ooh those are good ideas. I was thinking England, but got distracted by other ones off a list I found lol
Nah, I mostly just need rest. Barely moved all day so far lol
Tell that to the guys I meet.
Lol, cool. 😁
Ugh, I need to rest too. Hopefully I'll get to tonight.
Heh, I would tell them that. I absolutely would.
What’s rest?
Apparently all guys have anger and control issues.
Pssh, you and me both with that. 😅
Yeah, I don't get the control issues. The anger ones, yes, and my dad was one of the worst with that one. The control issues kinda creep me out though. It makes them get so ham-handed and hypocritical, if not downright abusive.
Anyway, it's fun to not have control issues. I'm the kind of guy that'll let girls put makeup on me, I'll sometimes let my dog choose which direction we go on walks, and in relationships, I believe it's a partnership that goes both ways. Maybe other guys think they have just as much fun with their egos. Sometimes I think control issues are the biggest enemy to progress. Anyway, not all guys are like that...
Yeah, it’s like… You know, I have choices too. I’m not a robot.
So many people in my life have wanted to change me. Like I’m not good enough how I am, being me.
You let girls put makeup on you?
Wanna bet????
Right?
People who try to change you don't deserve your time.
Heheh, yeah, and it feels awkward, but it usually turns out pretty good. 😁
They're truly not, I'm not. Too many guys are though.
I’m watching a show that’s talking about cheese rolling.
Check out my post about undiscovered Christian songs and artists <3 I got some for you :) I know you don’t believe, but I think you’ll like the sound. They’re fresh and not like all the others we always hear <3
I'll give it a look. ❤️ Lol, and how was the cheese rolling show?
You gotta tell me where these posts are or something... 😅 I can't find it
It’s under music. And then recent. Hehe
It was so boring. Lol
Ok, I'll look in the music one.
I hope that watching cheese roll was at least more fun than watching paint dry.
Update. I took a look. Like, only saw a couple of songs mentioned. The first one, I honestly couldn't stand the sound. The second one, though, the one you said sounded like a soundtrack song, that was pretty good.
I’ll add more. Lol
What’s your vibe, in music?
Right on, I'll stay open to whatever gets posted.
My vibe in music is a lot of things. You should hear the amount of variety on my Spotify playlist. I like music that isn't afraid to be different I guess. Part of why I didn't like that first song is because I feel like I've heard a thousand things just like it. If it's got a distinct sound, some atmosphere or power to it, some weirdness in the lyrics or music can spice it up... I'm pretty open to most genres too.
You must like Daft Punk then ;)
I don't know actually. I'll have to try them.
YOU DONT KNOW DAFT PUNK????????? Whyyyyyy
I dunno? 😁 I've heard of them. I'll bump them up my list to check out sooner rather than later.
Hey :)
Hey yo 😁
Heyyyyyy yaaaaa ;)
Um... shake it like a Polaroid picture? 😂
Huh?????
Oh… that song is not family-friendly. Sorry! I never looked at the lyrics before…
Lol 😂 that song is a magical creation in one way. Apparently that was a one-take improv recording that they kept. So, the lyrics were him just spouting stuff.
That said, I totally didn't know how un-family-friendly it got either. 😅
Torrrrrrrr
Rarrrrrrr? Wakes up, still not totally better from this cold I've had
Sorry, I was having a moment of loneliness. Moment of over-dramatic-ness over hehe
You ok? :(
Aww, I wish I had happened to be here just then.
I'm ok, I had a couple of sick and snowed-in days. I played some video games, and laid on the couch watching stuff. I'm mostly better today... So far. I had to unbury my car and driveway for 30 minutes to get to work.
It’s all good <3
What’s a snow day like?
What games and what did you watch?
That sounds… not fun. Lol
You've never had a day being snowed in? Everything looks so snowy and pretty outside, but you get kinda trapped in the house. It can be cozy or miserable. Mine was mostly cozy. I started watching The Last of Us, along with other YouTube stuff, and another horror movie. I've been playing Assassin's Creed Shadows, and I'm almost completely done with it
I don’t live in snow country lol
Start Million Dollar Secret! Lemme know what you think <3
Lol, neither do I. We usually get significant snow about once a year. You must be pretty far on the southeast.
Million dollar secret seems interesting. That was on my list, but I didn't know what it was called. I'll have to see when I can get around to it
You can guess where I live, but I ain’t tellin hehe
Also The Mole <3
How’s Tor? <3
Heheh, well, now I have a general idea. 😁
I read about that one too. It does look pretty good.
I'm ok, I'm finally not feeling sick. 😊. Well, almost. Just exhausted and still a little too much drainage. How about you?
You keep on thinking that. ;)
What’s your fave Netflix movie or show that you think *I* would like? <3
Yay!
Drainage. Hehe
I haven’t gotten out of bed yet. Should I? Should I attempt to sleep? Should I do nothing or attempt to be productive?
On Netflix? Shoot... It's hard to think. I did a quick alphabetical browse... What about "72 dangerous animals"? It was a pretty addictive one about animals. Educational, and not excessively graphic or scary.
I also saw "A Series of Unfortunate Events". That was a good book series that I read back in the day.
Lol, lots of drainage. And don't knock sleep, sleep can definitely be productive. Particularly if you don't relax enough. 😜
I was so over animal shows after Animal Planet XD Any other ideas?? <3 Keep scrolling hehe
Wait… how did you scroll alphabetically?? How did you find a whole list of shows???
I think I started watching that. Or maybe it was Miss Peregrine. Either way, it was FANTASTICALLY boring. Hehe
What’s sleep??? Hehe
I actually did a lot of everything and a lot of nothing today! And started a new drawing too <3
Hmm, are you into anime at all? My absolute favorite one, Cowboy Bebop, seems to be on there. There's also Case Closed, which is a little more family friendly. (You really should give Cowboy Bebop a chance though! Spike is the main character, and despite his attitudes, I feel like he's a lot like me in some ways. Plus the theme song is a banger, and one of the main characters is a Corgi.)
Literally just Google Netflix list of TV shows. 😅
Series of Unfortunate Events wasn't boring!
How much sleep do you usually get anyway? 😜
Ooh, whatcha drawing?
Suggest family-friendly things, please… Think of me as a 5 year old XD
Fineeeee hehe
Whatever I watched was! Lol
Dunno. But I wake up several times a night…
That… is a secret hehe! I’ve told others about it in my IRL life, and if any of them saw me describing it, it would be a dead giveaway who I am lol! Suffice it to say, it is AWESOME and I’m proud of it! Looking forward to hopefully doing more tonight <3
Lol, I know, I know... Still, it's a fun show, and not overtly sexual. A deep show too sometimes.
Did you see anything that looked really good?
You probably watched the other one you mentioned. It's not like it's the best show ever, but I think you might enjoy it.
I woke up several times last night too... I kept having weird dreams. It's hard to describe a lot of them, but in one, I was going around this weird academy that had hallways leading into people's houses, and I was trying to find a trash can to throw my sick tissues in, but I wasn't walking, I was moving around solely with the footwork we use in Kendo, which is basically sliding one foot across the ground and then the other follows, so your feet don't actually leave the ground. Also, I think people were creating fireballs in thin air and throwing them at stuff.
Whaaa? So your drawing would somehow be a dead giveaway of who you are? Are you a secret celebrity? 😳
Yeahhhh no. Hehe. Thank you, next. ;)
I’m watching The Secret Life of Pets atm, but the Best one I’ve been watching lately is Guillermo de Toro’s Pinocchio. The stop motion and visual details are EXQUISITE <3
So you were Michael Jackson as Mario? Hehe
Yes. I am secretly Frida Kahlo. Never mind that she’s dead. XD
Nah, I just made it very distinctive with my own personal touch, and anyone who’s seen it would know it’s me.
Huh, I haven't seen either of those yet.
Lol, kind of? Kendo isn't moonwalking... 😅😂
Soooo, if it's just a distinctive touch thing... What's it a drawing of? O_O
Tor? I feel kinda burned out on the food posts… But I also like them. Idk what I want anymore…
Maybe try slowing down on your replies on them? Give it a little bit of downtime. People get burned out on their posts all the time, so it's healthy to do it on your own time
Tell me a story, T…
So, when I was in college, I got dumped by someone who really mattered to me, and she wouldn't talk to me anymore. She went to the same college, but the campus was gigantic, and I'd look for her sometimes, just wanting to leave things on a good note if I couldn't get another chance. Anyway, between classes, I'd explore all the buildings and everything around them. I found lots of weird rooms, and tons of hallways of nothing special. It was just an ongoing hobby when I didn't have to study.
By the time I felt like I'd explored everything that wasn't off limits, I was wondering how I should spend my time next, and I kept noticing that I was heading in the direction of noticable yellow things. It was my favorite color too. So, I started following the color yellow. It kept leading me down a path that didn't feel forced, it felt obvious where I was supposed to go next at every turn. I was about to have to go to class, so I went as long as I could, and I was just about to abandon the quest when I saw someone wearing a necklace with big yellow beads. It was her. I actually got to talk to her for a minute...
Your first part sounds like some of my dreams.
Awww… How did it end up?
Why do relationships suck so much?
Have you found anyone to date?
Lol, I could see that.
It didn't turn out well. We met another time, and we grew into different people, and we were going to meet up and go to lunch or something. She ditched me. She didn't call. Or text. Instead she went to the zoo with her youth group leader, who was 42, literally twice her age, and basically started backing off from talking to me. For every reason, no reason. She was saying she was thinking of saying him, and felt like I was too codependent. I bought her flowers and showed up to her house, and she told me "If you ever loved me, you'd leave me alone.".
As a context thing, you should know that she broke up with me because I self-harmed for the first time in my life. There's another story on why... I just don't want to tell it right now. TW... You might not want to hear the next part.
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As I left, I dropped the flowers. I stumbled from sheer emotion, and I couldn't even make it to my car. I was on the ground at the sidewalk. I didn't want to cry. I started bashing my skull into the sidewalk. I don't know how many times I did it. I just remember I couldn't stop laughing, the entire way back home. When I got there, my friend freaked out, saying "WHO DID THIS TO YOU?!". They were gearing up to fight someone for me, but I couldn't even speak. I don't remember the rest of that day. I still get chills to this day.. like, convulsions, after that. I have no idea how much damage I did to myself. Anyway, she did date that guy and married him within a few months, and I heard from her family that his siblings warned them that she was "theirs" now. Indeed, she was only allowed to see her family on special occasions from then on. Oddly... She was apparently happy enough... She got to live her dream of teaching high school English. There's more to this story, but that's pretty much what I'll say for now...
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TW over. As for relationships, they just really do suck. So much.
As for dating, yeah, I have. 😊 It's been good, so we'll see how it goes. How about you? I haven't heard you mention much about it in a while.
Aww hon… I can relate, although I’ve never done it. I know the feeling, at least…
Maybe you gave yourself a concussion… or some sort of brain damage? You’ve told me your stories… Maybe this precipitated it?
Were you bleeding?
Sounds like a really creepy, controlling family.
I’ll be honest… I knew you were dating someone. I was bored and flicked my eyes down one of the penpal chats. Reading your side, not really theirs. Just wanted to get to know you better yk… And saw that.
Does it ever hurt… seeing me talking about guys?
No… the last one dumped me after I wouldn’t give him my body.
Yeah, it became kind of a thing again after that. I did get something wrong. I had self-harmed before any of that, but only in one context.
I probably gave myself both. I dunno, it probably has been in play with everything. I could end up in a bad way any time. Cranial damage can creep up all of a sudden, any time at all later in life. I'm just grateful that worse hasn't happened. I don't think I was bleeding. Internally, yes. I broke blood vessels.
From what I heard about that family, they.. sound kind of cult like. They've done church youth group stuff and moved on to different towns... I've snooped, it never turned up anything.
Heh... I somehow knew you were reading that too. Thank you for being honest. 😅 In honesty, maybe I kind of wanted you to. Creamy asked things that hadn't come up or haven't been gone into much. Tbh, I've still never read any of your other chats. Or anyone's actually.
Did it hurt to see that? It doesn't hurt me seeing you talk about guys. I'm happy with my connection with you, and I want you to be happy in general. Yes, I can be jealous, and I'll leave that part at that, but honestly, we have a deep history and when you've called me your best friend, it makes me feel really warm inside. You'll never lose me, you know? And anyone you're with is lucky to have you. I just want you to have someone who realizes that.
That's horrible about that last guy. I know most guys end up in mindsets where they could be capable of making a girl feel like that, but it's really *** when it happens. You do deserve better. That wasn't a fault with you. You're not just an object.
Became kind of a thing?
Have you talked to a doctor about it?
How did you know about the blood vessels?
Cult groups are creepy.
How did you know I was reading it? Why did you want me to?
Why don’t we go deeper?
I only read chats when I’m lonely. I have hard nights sometimes…
Did it hurt to see what?
That’s why I wondered… Because of our deep history.
You ARE my best friend. <3
Jealous?
Also, in case anyone reads this, I’m not asking in order to flirt with you or pursue you in any way… I’m just curious and I want to make sure I protect your emotions.
Yes, I am. That’s all I’ve ever been for years.
Yeah, I ended up with the whole self-harm addiction. I may have not done it in over a year. It's hard to say, but it's been a while.
I talked to a previous doctor briefly about it. I should be ok unless anything comes up.
The blood vessels were visible. I looked hideous for a week or more.
Cult groups ARE creepy... I wonder how creepy that guy's family really is....
Heh, I don't know how I knew. I just did. And we can always go deeper, I just end up on so many tasks in the day that I'm not sure where my head's at most days. I would definitely like to though.
Don't worry about the deep history thing. 😜 Your friendship is just as precious to me. ❤️ And, yeah, for anyone reading, I wasn't flirting or pursuing either. I understood what you meant. Either way, your happiness is important to me. You are in general.
No you're not. Not unless you get pleasure out of defining yourself that way, and that doesn't seem to be the case. They aren't anyone to grant you their worth. If they treat you like that, they don't even know the value of their own lives or anything in it.
I’m proud of you, you know. <3
What did they say?
Ouch.
Mhmm. I’ve been watching a couple of shows about cults and they’re creepy…
Idk how to get on the topics you guys get on tho. Idk what they even are tbh…
Deeper how?
I just wanted to make sure I wasn’t hurting you. And yeah… it did hurt a little.
That’s all I am to them.
Thanks. ❤️ I can still barely avoid it sometimes...
They didn't say much. I think it's because it's really potentially bad, but there's no point in worrying about it. If anything is going to happen down the line from the damage then nothing can really be done.
I wonder how easy/hard it is to start a cult... It seems to come naturally to the shadiest people possible...
Heh, our topics have mostly been about what she's trying to do with her life. And deeper... Like any way you want. What would you want to explore/know? And what deep things are on your mind? Right now... I feel like more and more people are starting to fight against the current state of things. That's the deep thing on my mind.
Sorry, I get it... I'm glad that you're honest about it though.
To them? They don't even have a valid point of view if they treat you like that. You're the valid point of view, and you know you're more than that deep down.
Tor? I’m lonely…