TK Reboot
A chat between two platonic friends from across the interwebs.
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I feel like all I did was trigger people and now I feel like curling into myself and disappearing. Isolating myself. Not sharing anymore.
My emotions inconvenience people.
How so? And who seemed so inconvenienced and triggered? You shouldn't stop sharing...
People.
Yes I should.
I literally went in and looked at the post. You didn't trigger anyone. Don't let thoughts like that win!
Yes dad. Lol
Sometimes I’m just overwhelmed by life.
Good lol
I get that. I get overwhelmed by life too.
So tell me, in detail, what you’re dealing with <3
Big picture - we are seeing a darker world than ever seen before. People can't even afford to bat an eye to what happens one day, because another atrocity is just a blink away. It'll be dangerous to stay or go anywhere before long. Details of things that happened on a certain island were released... But those things are still happening. We have a friend who is proof... Where is she?... I shouldn't say more about that... I'm so tired of feeling helpless.
Personally... I don't know. I'm not doing my best on the inside. I feel bored of the world around me. There isn't enough to go and see. Also, my mood feels delicate. Like, I'm enjoying things a lot, loving so strong, but the second something triggers me, I just change. I start questioning why I should be putting so much into my long-term well-being and close relationships... When I feel like everything is going to be torn down. I question the point of anything, and then I just crave debauchery. Maybe I just crave it anyway because I'm a sick individual who genuinely feels like the most permanent comfort comes from the most temporary things. It's less worrying if people will leave me, and more just wondering when they will.
I’ll be honest… I don’t know a lot of what’s going on around the world. Partially from ignorance, partially from anxiety making me ignore the news. I don’t know what you mean about the island or the friend…
Go see more of the world <3
Are you referring to your relationship?
Sometimes I do too. I stick with temporary things because the permanent things seem elusive…
Same. People always leave. It’s just a question of when.
Oh, nevermind the big picture part then..
I want to see more of the world .. I might get a chance to if there's a world left. I sort of have a job offer that involves very little work and pays twice as much as my job. Just using a software to organize projects. That won't come open for a good while though
I was referring to anyone close to me. I feel really insecure about how, like you said, people tend to leave. That's not always necessarily true though
Tell me everything! I just might need you to explain things I don’t know about <3 You’re safe with me <3
So you’re going to be a spy? Hehe
I’m not leaving. <3
I know I am, but .. telling you everything is a bit of a tall order where I wouldn't know where to start. You're a lot happier not knowing. Really disgusting things are happening and coming to light pretty much every day, and I feel like there are hints that a lot of these things have been going on for a very long time. Basically, just never trust the very rich, and abandon all faith in any leader who doesn't put compassion first.
Lol, I hadn't thought about it... Maybe I could just travel around and do that job on my phone. That frees me up to be a spy, but then I need something to actually spy on, so what should it be?
I know. ❤️ I'm not leaving either
I’m just kinda concerned about my personal information showing up on Google AI results.
How so? Definitely a valid concern overall
You didn’t see that post?
I don't remember seeing it
So you do sing and do voice impressions in the shower, eh? (Yep, you can tell when I get bored and start reading random stuff) XD
I used to do a good impression of something. I forgot who it was…
Lol, yeah. Something about the running water. I also do it when I'm doing dishes, because that has running water too, but since I hate doing dishes, those songs and what those voices say get messed up sometimes. 😂
I wanna know who it was too. Think hard until you remember 😁
What’s your art life like?
Heh, given your other message, you probably heard about my poetry compilation and short story combo. It's some heavy stuff so far. I have my head around most of it from the get go, but I feel like I don't truly know where it's going by the end.
I haven't painted or drawn anything in a while.
How about yours?
I didn’t read about that. I was bored-ly skimming. Lol! Tell me more <3
Drawing some, trying new techniques.
I want to branch out… Try new things. Any ideas?
That's cool, do you ever try writing projects at all? That's my main suggestion anyway.
So, the project I'm working on... Basically a compilation of poems that go together, with an overarching short story slowly happening in-between each one. The idea is to write out a lot of personal demons and bigger picture worries in a format that could actually be shared, by having the theme of it be one big messed-up experiment. The point of view of the poems is seeing the experiment from the inside, and the short story sees the experiment from the outside.
Tor… Things need to change. My life must be different. In a thousand different ways.
One of which is, I want to go analog more often. <3
I super support that. I've been kinda doing that too. I've also spent more time out in the evenings jogging or something. I managed to jog for a 4 minute stretch, which is huge to me. My goal is more like 30 minutes though
I’ve noticed that you haven’t been online much lately. I’m happy for you <3
Heh, thanks. I didn't think I'd made that much of a difference yet. I gotta consider spending less time online overall for sure
Me too. I deleted one social media app already
Hey, me too. It's one I haven't used in a long time, but still
Mine was just a time waster. Little positive really
I Can literally FEEL the effects of being bigger than I was… I can feel the rolls when I lay down.
I think it’s time.
Tomorrow, neither of us overeats.
Are you with me???? <3
For sure. I've been trying a little harder lately. We've got this!
I didn’t overeat for breakfast! And I had enough food in front of me that I COULD have overeaten. Happy with myself <3
I maybe overate from lunch already... It was just spaghetti though. And a little fresh pineapple on the side. Proud of you though. 😁
I thought you abhorred pineapple. ;)
Thank you! <3
I abhor canned pineapple. 😜 Fresh pineapple is maybe my favorite fruit to eat by itself.
Hehe
I didnt overeat for lunch either! I ate one extra bite as I put my food away and that was it <3
Nicely done, proud of you! I didn't overeat for dinner luckily. Breakfast was eggs. I think my lunch is gonna be pork, veggies, and rice. Actually kinda like a pork egg roll without the fried outside
Dinner was another matter. Lol! I deliberately chose to binge. But I didn’t eat to the point of discomfort. So still a win? <3
Breakfast today was good too <3
I overate again for lunch. Maybe I'll do ok for dinner... 😅
We got this <3
We do. 😁 I overate dinner too though...
Breakfast was ok. I had some hard boiled eggs, and I tried some red leaf lettuce. The guinea pigs love red leaf. All I have to do is say those words, and they all come forward to the edge and stand up against the bars, excitedly waiting.
I did eh today. Kinda in between lol
In between is still good. 😊 I'm there too... I had chili with chips for lunch. No other major snacks.
I bought ice cream today. You can imagine how that turned out. :P
I’m focused on watching SBSK videos and reading Ghost Boy. I really like the new post series I started here (did you see them? I tagged you in them). I really want to change the world… help others see different people differently <3
I’m sorry I haven’t responded to some of your other posts… I feel bad. Especially because some of them were deep… I just… idk. My brain doesn’t deal with life like it should. Maybe I’m broken.
Heh, ice cream is tasty though. I might have some today... A small one anyway.
I like your new post series too! Maybe I'll check out these SBSK videos today. If I get a chance.
No need to feel bad. Respond to what you want to. All of it stays open, and you're welcome to deal with life however you have to. I'm here for it. ❤️
I treated myself with the ice cream after attempting to eat better for days. :)
Thanks! I did the BPD post in honor of you <3
Do that. At least watch one of them :) They’re embedded now, so they’re easier to watch :)
Awww thank you… I wish everyone treated me the way you do <3
That's a good idea. 😁 I'ma try not to overdo it so I can treat myself occasionally.
Where did you post the BPD one? I might come back to it, I just... I couldn't think of a way to really respond at the time.
Nice, I'll give it a go and letcha know what I think.
You deserve to be treated well. ❤️
Sounds good <3
Uhhh personality disorders? I think? You could always subscribe and read without posting <3
Do it tonight hehe <3 You could always watch the ones I post as I post them if that works better <3
Nah.
Hm, ok, I'll take a look when I can.
I did watch one. Kid with uncontrollable rage/autism. It felt just a little close to home. My emotions used to be completely uncontrollable...
Yes you do.
I keep seeing that one. I should watch it <3 Share it to the page and embed the video? <3
No i dont.
You definitely should. I can't stand the mom in it though... 😅 I'll have to try to remember to copy and paste the link there.
I don't know what you want me to say. We're at a "Rabbit season!" "Duck season!" "Rabbit season!" "Duck season!" (I dunno if you get the Looney Tunes reference.) 😂
Why not the mom?
Do you know how to embed?
Nope I don’t lol
You can say whatever you wish hehe
The way she talks with her son right there. It's like, this interview is supposed to be something about him, and while it concerns her experiences, she makes it about how traumatic it was for her. Reminds me of things from my family I've had to put up with...
I honestly don't. I never really send videos.
Wow.
You have to do it on your computer. I think it’s a little camcorder icon.
Ah, yeah, not doing that on here for now then. I wish I could just do it on the app with my phone
Write the title when you post, and I can find it and add it <3
I binged again tonight, and I feel fat, but somehow… I feel hope.
You should feel hope. You don't binge all the time.
I "rewarded" myself last night. I tried the new Arch burger at McDonald's. I'd give it a 7.3, making it the best current burger they have. For reference, I'll rank their burgers.
Big Mac - 6.0 (More like big exaggeration. It has some flavor, but it's all empty bun calories, I don't even know how a 5 year old could be full from eating one)
Quarter pounder - 6.5 (it's filling. That's about it. They're not tasty. At all.)
Cheeseburgers - 7.25 (they have a balance, it works, it's just nothing to write home about.)
Arch burger - 7.3 (they pretty much just gave a quarter pounder a fancy bun, some tasty sauce that doesn't quite mesh flavor-wise, and some crunchy fried onions that you don't even taste. It mostly tastes like meat patties, but I don't hate it. This burger takes the pity crown.)
And I'll rank a couple that aren't on the menu.
McRib - 0. (These smell so bad that I'm pretty sure they're made of used diapers)
Arch Deluxe - 10! (If I had a genie, I would at least consider using one of my wishes to bring this burger back)
Uh…. Yes I do.
I don’t eat there often, and rarely burgers. I love nuggies and fries <3
Big Macs are good! Lol
What’s an Arch Deluxe???
Yeah, the nuggets and fries get an 8. They've got some nostalgic value too.
Lol, big macs are good, but they're so unsatisfying for hunger that they lost a full 2-3 points over it. I feel more satisfied with a fun size Snickers bar.
Arch deluxe existed like 30 years ago or so, and it was by far their best burger. It had bacon on it, and also some kind of really good mayo sauce. Apparently with Dijon mustard too. Beyond that, there was just something about it. It was super good.
I prefer Burger King nuggies. Hehe
Is it because of the burgers or because of your eating disorder? (Just admit that you have one like I do) <3
Ooh yummy <3
I don't like burger king nuggets at all. 😅 Their burgers are way better though. I like their fries a little better too... Usually.
I mean, I don't think needing to satiate hunger is part of my disorder. I do get excessively hungry. But people generally agree that big macs aren't filling anyway. I looked it up today. They're 40% smaller nowadays than they used to be, and for like 16x the cost. Considering that info, I'm tempted to bring the big mac score even lower.
Their BBQ sauce is better. Lol
No I meant like overeating. Seems to be filling a void for both of us.
McDonald’s is expensive anyway! They used to be the cheapest and not anymore…
Heh, probably true. I like both bbq sauces in their own way.
I agree, but more than filling a void, I think it's an anxiety thing for me. Honestly, my anxiety is getting uncontrollable lately...
Yeah, they really did used to be the cheapest... They're not really worth the higher prices. Heh, want a fun fact? Eating out at restaurants in NYC is surprisingly affordable - sometimes even cheaper than outside of NYC. The exception is McDonald's. I feel like when I lived there, I was used to meals there costing somewhere closer to $10-12. In NYC, it was closer to $25, and literally didn't have better quality in any capacity. You could probably walk less than a minute in any direction from there and get restaurant food for less.
How do you feel about starting over?
Starting what over?
Our chat. I was paging through and noticed I’d written things that could identify me to people who know me (not people who don’t). Whaddya think? <3
Yeah, that's ok. You get to write the description this time though. 😜
Ooh cool hehe. Maybe I should write something funny lol
You get to request to get this one deleted then lol
Give me awhile tho, wait til the new one is made <3
Lol, you should.
I don't even know who to talk to for deleting it... That's an anxiety thing 😫
We could probably just let it get buried...
Oh, no, it’s easy. You flag your own post and ask them to delete it. I’ve done that with many posts <3 Quick and easy <3
Murgh... I dunno .. can we switch tasks. 😅 I get paranoid...
Bruh. Lol
It's a total anxiety thing. 😅
Why though?
It doesn't help that last time I was mostly at their throats... 😅
Better if I don’t know XD
Eh, probably better that I have no idea who I was actually talking to... 😅
Don’t do that anymore lol
I don't like how I was treated. I'm still angry about that
