TK Reboot
A chat between two platonic friends from across the interwebs.
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Kinda tempted to disappear for awhile
I'd definitely miss you. What's going on exactly? I'm here in any way I can be
Not with you. <3
Or the group chat for that matter.
Just like… in general.
My work friends are fake. My church friends don’t want me. My Bible study friends are telling me to get a license (Note: I already have one) because they don’t want to drive me there anymore.
Glad to hear that at least.
I'm surrounded by fake people too, so I can understand the urge to withdraw. I hope most are still being friendly, aside from the driving issue insensitivity. What's going on with your church friends? I don't think I heard about that yet.
What fake people?
They are friendly, it’s just the driving thing.
The people at my YA study at church don’t really seem to mesh with me, don’t include me really, etc. Maybe it’s because I’m shy. Idk. They’re mostly married with kids. Not me. So idk
Heh, lots of people around me are fake. Not so much at work, but definitely in my family, other places.
I'm glad that it's just the driving thing at least.
As for the Bible study thing, I get what you mean. I tend to end up in the same boat around a bunch of parents, parents have a way of excluding anyone who's not. It's heavily annoying to me. I remember one time at the state fair, my friends went to do something, so I pushed their baby in a stroller to the next place they were going. So many people were smiling at me. Like, suddenly everyone approved of me, and it made me kinda mad.
Wyd
Oof, I didn't get any messages. I guess my new phone only shows them to me when it wants to. Anyway, this time last night I think is when I was trying to watch cartoons with my dog, because she likes them. (Particularly Courage the Cowardly Dog, for some reason). But my mom kept coming back to talk to me. She gets lonely when I'm gone on a trip, but when I'm here, she's generally perfectly content to keep to herself . I think that does actually make sense to me.
That does make sense.
You watch Courage? I never got into Cartoon Network, but I loved Nickelodeon. Did you ever watch Battlebots??
I think. Was that actually robot battling? My physics teacher used to host those at my high school
Yep.
Whaaaaaa
Right? It actually was pretty cool. I hated Physics class, but he really was the coolest high school teacher.
Check my last post in “general”
I just wanna hide rn
I feel like garbage today :’(
I don’t have a lot of appetite today. I asked Mom to get me nuggies and fries because I’m depressed, but I got them too early and my stomach said no. So it made me sad that I couldn’t really eat them fresh. I really wanted them too… I’m saving the rest, but I wanted them when they were hot…
Such a dumb thing to be sad over. Chicken nuggets, of all things.
It's ok, no one wants a cold chicken nugget lol.
You seem to be getting lots of depressive symptoms... And I'm here for you however you wanna deal with that, but I want you to know that all of these things bugging you .. it's not really your fault. It's easy to feel like it is, but you've been making efforts, and you've been reaching out when you have trouble with those efforts. From my perspective, you're doing all the right things. Life is just painful, and other people are problematic.. so are our bodies and brains.
It was dumb lol
I’m sorry I’ve been so depressing lately.
Lol, no worries. All around. I'm here for all the times, and I definitely know what being depressed feels like
You don’t act depressed
I... Can't afford to be. I spiral really badly when depressed. It's better for me to keep moving... Occupy myself with what I can. I don't want to be a promiscuous alcoholic again.
You don’t live there anymore <3
That's true. 😊 I just don't wanna relapse... It's had bad effects before...
Do you still have those episodes?
Yeah... I mean, I've got a handle on the alcohol, and almost always the self-harm... The promiscuous part though... Sometimes it feels like I'm not even myself, and I wish my mind didn't do the things that it does with that.
I finished reading Ruby Holler… The orphans that nobody wanted finally found a home.
When will I find a home?
I've never heard of that, was it good?
Whatchu mean by that? Do you feel at home, at home? I know what it's like when aspects are missing though...
It was SO good. And funny :)
I feel home with my mommy, wherever she is <3 I just don’t truly feel home anywhere else. Everywhere else, I’m… idk.
I feel lucky to have my mom around still, and I kind of do too. She's not the defining factor, but I dunno what I'd do without her. Is it kinda like that? It's definitely hard to feel at home in such a messed up world.
I don’t feel wanted or loved at work, church, Bible study… Sometimes even here.
You deserve to feel wanted and loved though. Don't forget that. People seem fake, people seem rude, and a lot of times it feels like they don't care. Sometimes it even feels like they're not even real. I know how that is, but it starts with self-love in a lot of ways too, you know?
Remind me to respond later :)
Remindo
:P
Remindo again?
Yeah… I keep reading what you write when I’m busy, and then the notification disappears, then I forget…
Lol, just re-look at some of the convo threads. However much you feel that you want to at the moment. Anyway, re-re-remindo. 😁
No, I mean i literally forget to come back here. Lol
Lol, well then. 😜 I kinda know what you mean though. Without an alert I focus on other stuff for a bit until I really think about it
I get BOMBARDED with notifications by doing all the NRs lol
Lol, really? I havent gotten responses really, just likes.
Tell me about your day :)
It was a relax day. 😅 I had Chinese buffet and played a video game, watched a movie. Also exercised though. And I cooked some sausage rice and veggies
Thank you, now I want Chinese food hehe
Lol, yesss. I wouldn't mind having more. Their sweet and sour pork was on point. 😋
Ewww not pork. Too stringy. Chicken, smothered in TONS of sauce <3
Wasn't stringy pork. 😜 I don't like pulled pork at all, partly for that reason. Chicken in sauce is almost always a good way to go though.
ANYTHING in sauce is heaven lol
Lol sauce is usually of the essence
BBQ SAUCE drools
Izzat your favorite sauce? I like most sauces. Not sweet and sour... And not most salad dressings. And not steak sauce, ew.
Summer reading program????
What summer reading program? Sounds fun
Libraries
Well, yah, but what specifically?