TK Reboot
A chat between two platonic friends from across the interwebs.
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Struggling emotionally with my stupid decision with posting last night…
What happened exactly? It doesn't sound that stupid.
I just posted and they responded graciously. I just feel gross inside
hugs
don't feel gross, none of us that matter here feel like you're gross for it, or for any other reason
:(
S'alright! Everything will be super cool and chill like
Chill. Like.
Heheh. Reeeeeal chill. Like.
Like.
See? It feels even more chill now, right? 😂
Yeah… I was just having a meltdown
It's understandable, but I'm glad you're doing better
Can I tell you something that I wouldn’t tell most people? (It’s not a secret. I’m aware this is public lol)
Absolutely. 😊
All these encouragement posts people make for me… They elicit almost zero emotion in me. I’m dead inside. Or maybe too used to praise. Either way, almost nothing.
I think it's more understandable than that. There's a lot of different feelings or reactions that can come with that kind of attention. It's almost an overload, right?
Wym?
I dunno. It's like if you get thrown a surprise birthday party or something, right? Like, there is a ton of positivity, but no one is going to react or immediately feel the same way from that. This is coming from someone that also doesn't know how to take compliments or gifts without being awkward. Does any of that kinda make sense as a comparison?
Sorta. I think it’s more like I’ve heard it so often, that it means nothing anymore…
Is it that you've heard it so often in general, or more that you've heard a lot that you feel is faked or too much positivity that's too hard for you to believe about yourself?
I’m not sure tbh
My guess is the latter one, because I understand it. It's hard to not outright resist nice things that are said about me. Too much self-issue in the way
T?
Ehhh???
Home Improvement??
Ehhhhhh??? Like, Tim Allen Home Improvement, or just the concept of improving a home?
First one
Because of the "ehhh???" My dad used to do the "man noises" for me.
Yes lol
Man noises?
Yeah, Tim Allen would do the "man noises", he'd do one of them at the end of the theme song/intro too if you know what I'm talking about. Anyway, good times... My dad used to call me in the room to watch Home Improvement with him as a kid, and Charmed also later on. I only kinda liked Charmed. It was ok, not the greatest. Did really like Buffy though .. 😂
Ah, the memories…
I used to crush on JTT hehe
Lol, you and every other girl ever. I remember looking over at soooo many girls in school writing JTT on a paper in pink pen with a heart drawn around it
Lollll
I kinda miss flirting. Dating. Which is weird because my PTSD has stopped me from feeling like that for so long… Now I’m starting to feel it. But I don’t want to feel it because I don’t want… that.
All I can really say is that I can relate. It's hard to stay away from the appeal of that for me, even when I've wanted to.
I don’t want to find men appealing. I want to remember how they hurt me. Because it keeps me from being hurt again.
Men can be a lot better than that... But I get what you mean... You don't want to be in a vulnerable position like that again. I wouldn't want to see you hurt again either.
Name one.
...I mean, I'm probably not above a lot of things, but I'd never do what they did, and I think a lot of guys wouldn't.
You’ve told me a lot of bad things about yourself.
I've never just dropped out of a partner's life or been abusive on any level...
Hey. I think I have feels. Idk what the feels are. I just know I had the urge to talk about them with someone. Idk what to talk about tho because idk what I’m feeling lol
That makes more sense than you think. That's usually when I end up writing. 😂 But maybe start on something, anything?
Like what
I dunno. Anything at all that comes to mind. I'm sick right now... That's what comes to my mind. My throat hurts so bad... I'm cold and tired. I slept way too long also.
Are you doing self care?
Yeah, lots of rest and water. Done just a little gaming, watched a good movie. Unfortunately I'm still having to do errands today... I really can't wait to be done.
@Torean
I feel it. I have a bit of a headache too.
Ugh saaaame. I just want to get conked out by meds at this point.
@Torean
Going to take some?
Yeah, still gotta get home first
Wyd today
Errands... Almost done now. Can't wait.
Yay!
I rested and it was soooo nice. I'm at roughly 60%. I'm hungry, I hope that's a good sign
Yay! Whatcha gonna eat? :)
I ate some pork dumplings soup with bread sticks. I was feeling super better for a bit. Now just mostly better.
Yummy <3
Drink water :)
Doing that now... Ugh, I felt almost better when I woke up, but haven't been able to get back to sleep
Just rest then
Rested much and much. I really hope I'm better by tomorrow. I'm ranging between being at 30-80%
What’s the percentage now?
I started this morning at maybe 50%. I'm two hours from then, and I'm at 85% or so.
Tonight’s challenge: Go knock out at least one “Needs Reply” post <3
Ill get one sometime soon at least
You would LOVE the drawing I did today <3
Ooh what was it?
I technically copied it freehand off the internet, so it’s not fully my art.
Imagine this: An older style video game controller, with hatching as detail. It’s surrounded by a jagged line in a circle, which is outlined in green marker. There are rounded stars around it, with 3D parts that make them look like falling stars; the stars are a vibrant yellow, which, on the blue paper, make them look greenish. There are tiny triangles as special effects, and little black stars around the controller.
I also just drew Stitch holding a pink ball of yarn <3
Heh, both of those sound really cool ❤️
Thank you <3
I wonder how many of my friends would forget I existed if I never texted them again.
I feel very sure that our group would never forget you
Meh
How dare you meh us?
:(
S'alright yo
You sound like my coworkers lol
Sorry, I was moody lol
Lol, do I?
And it's all good.
Read my last post under general