TK Reboot
A chat between two platonic friends from across the interwebs.
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How's Tor?
So sleepy that it's not even real anymore. I had insomnia for a week straight, and I practically feel sick from exhaustion. How about you?
Im so sorry :(
Meh. Idk. Is it normal to not... feel anything anymore? Like I do. Sometimes. But like. Less. Muted. Some emotions just feel like they dont exist sometimes...
It'll be ok if I can sleep tonight. 😅 Last night I did at least so-so.
It's normal, and I feel like that a lot lately. I think it's because I finally got a slight break from the intense part of emotional pain, leaving just the slow ache of unfulfilled feelings, and I just keep a momentum usually. Maybe it's like that?
That's good :)
Maybe. I think after years of being pounded by trauma, my brain and heart just gave up :(
Don't think of it as a give up. It doesn't gotta be that way. I think it's really normal to have times that feel more numb though. Also, you get really motivated like me, so maybe you need some chill time to balance?
I dont wanna feel anything anymore. But I do at the same time.
Makes a lot of sense to me, along with the loneliness. You don't have any pets do you? I think pets are good for that sort of thing.
Nope. Wish I had a therapy dog tho
My emotions change so fast dude...
Rapid emotions are tough. Any chance you could get a dog?
No room.
Even for a small dog?
I feel so alone today.
I wish I could take you on an adventure or something. I mean, today it was just street tacos and Target for me, but still. 😅
Pfft street tacos and Target sound AMAZING! <3
Honestly (and this is not a flirt), I've always said I'm a cheap date. Like, take me on errands or take me to get cheap fast food and look at books. Or just sit in a park and read, or watch a movie at home. Im not one of those "I need steak dinners and fancy jewelry and stuff" girls, just some togetherness and spending zero money lol
No I'm not asking you on a date lol XD
(I wasn't flirting either)
Heh, I'm the same way. 😁 Togetherness and just getting out, having tasty food, etc... that's my jam. It can be more or less spendy because it's the little moments.
I make up games too. Like in hobby lobby or somewhere like that, every aisle with paintings, we have to choose a favorite, even if they're all bad
Lol I like that :)
Feeling inadequate tonight
Why inadequate?
Just failing at something that seems to be easy for everyone else. I dont understand and I feel hopeless
Failing at what? I have a feeling that I'm gonna disagree with the failure part. Feeling hopeless can definitely be understandable though...
Classified. Its just... hard being me.
Sorry. : / I guess that's pretty relatable...
I wish I were normal.
Normal is boring and overrated
Not when you feel like the only one who doesn't understand something, and everyone else gets it...
Like what? I kinda felt like that through a lot of school years... I was weirdly sheltered, and yet not. Yeah, it's not fun, but sometimes you're the only right one too, you know?
I wish I could show you my art... I tried a new technique today and NAILED IT! You'd be so proud of me and my art... <3
I definitely would. I am proud of you either way. You could always totally show me though. 😁
Either way?
I cant lol. Not safe, and I've shown a lot of other IRL people already anyway lol
Lol, I get it. I mean, I don't get it, but I get it.
Huh????
I meant... I don't get exactly why it's confidential, just that you have some kind of reason that you feel it needs to be.
Because a lot of people have already seen my art. Lol
Are you getting some actual art fame?
Only among my friends. Lol
Heh, I see. That's still cool though.
Right??? Hehe
Seriously, mosquitoes???? HOW many bites is that now since the beginning of mosquito season???????
I'm telling you. Show em who's boss. 💪 Flex and show them they don't want smoke with you. 😁
Oh, I grabbed him outta midair. With my bare hand. Hehe
Nice! Make an example out of that vampire wannabe!
I am a mosquito NINJA! hehe
Yes! Now they fear you. They will be twice as crafty, yet much easier to defeat.
At least I'm not itchy rn. Lol
Lol, that's a definite plus. I don't even need the mosquitos. Allergies alone are making me itchy
That sounds fun. Lol! You ok?
I've been soooo under the weather all week. Today isn't even much better yet
Why always sick???? :(
Also why am I sick now??? Did you send your germies over here hehe
Lol, I don't think I was sick. Hopefully you're not either. It's just, every time there's a heat wave, I seem to have my allergies go crazy
Weird.
I also live in a really, really bad place for allergies
I guess I do too? Idk, what's a good place for allergies?? Lol. Lots of trees here
Same. I mean, lots of places are better. Like, probably any other kind of climate and surroundings. 😅
The Amazon Trail, for instance.
Did you ever play that game??? <3
I just realized that my depression and anxiety are just symptoms of my trauma...
Idk what to do with this revelation.
Maybe it'll help you find a way to approach it. Like, just approach all of it like you'd approach your trauma possibly?
Wym?
I dunno. Like, maybe something you do to approach trauma could help with the other parts too
Like what
I honestly don't know, it was just a thought. I hoped it would help. 😅
So apparently you are a trekking trail in Indonesia.
Ooh, looks kinda pretty there. I don't like steepness... Not sure how well I could do a trail like that
Ooh I hadn't even looked at the pictures. That's NARROW! Lol
Lol, right? I could maybe do it, but .. I might not exactly seek it out
I would do if if my life depended on it, but I sure hope my life would never depend on it XD
Heh, id probably have fun with it if my life depended on it. Otherwise... Holy wow.
Yeah I'd fall or something lol
I just really really don't like steepness... It freaks me out
I feel like... I'm finally grieving Aaron Carter's death... I've been listening to a lot of his music lately, learning about how horrific his life was, how preventable it all was, how he died... I feel like I'm finally grieving years later.
And... I also feel like...my grieving isn't just about him dying... its something else. Something deeper. About my own life. Something symbolic... Idk what it is.
I know nothing about his life or death. He was a child celebrity... So I guess I kind of always assumed it was awful. What happened to him?
To be honest, I dont know a whole lot except what I've learned the past couple of days. But apparently, his family used him for his money and worked him HARD. Im still learning, so dont take my word for it.
Also, do you know his music?
I only know his dumb candy song. That's a sad story that's happened way too many times though. Kids being thrown into the entertainment industry adult world, never getting to have real security, financially supporting their own insincere parents from childhood...
That one isn't the best... Try Leave It Up to Me. It was in the Jimmy Neutron Movie. So was Alien Nation.
Right? Like they're a workhorse, a bank... Apparently his parents bought tons of houses and 30 cars!
Lol I did not enjoy that song.
Still feel so sorry for him though. I don't know how Hollywood etc has continued to get away with this sort of thing....
Try Iko Iko hehe
I know. Way too many famous people dying... :(
I listened to the Dixie Cups version, is that what you meant? I don't have a strong opinion on it.
Agreed. Dying, or living in ways that aren't any better.
No the Aaron Carter version. Also try That's How I Best Shaq hehe. Shaq is in the music video!
Exactly. And too many dr*g ODs.
Lol, interesting video... He's not the worst kid pop star I guess..
They're given those and not a normal education. I don't know how any of them ever end up staying functional.
I miss me more!!!!!
Nah uh, I miss you AND me more.
Huh?
Yes
That sounds flirty. Im assuming it's not lol
It's not. 😅 It was silly
What did it meannnnnnnnn lol
I don't know how to explain. 😅
Ok lol (^.^)
You should read "Life Without Ed". Its not your average book about eating disorders... It personifies your ED as an abusive partner. It's SO good...
Huh, that sounds kinda cool actually. I might try to give that a look
It definitely makes you look at your ED very differently. Ed is an abusive bully.
Heh, interesting. I'm glad it's helping you at the very least.
Tell me something interesting. Liven up this thread. Hehe
The most interesting thing that happened lately was my birthday dinner. We had a huge pretzel with beer cheese, and then I had a schnitzel... Kinda like a lightly fried chicken with a paprika/curry/onion sauce. And then dessert was a chocolate bread pudding with an orange/caramel sauce. Everything was a 10/10. Of course there was the authentic German beer and amaretto coffee. And the dude who was playing Mario songs on the accordion.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!! 🎂🥳🎉🎈🎁🎊🕯🍰 (Let's see if these emojis work lol)
I always thought schnitzel was a pastry or dessert lol
What is beer cheese????
Hehe Mario songs <3
Thanks! 😊
Lol, it kinda sounds like one. Usually they're fried pork and not chicken I think... I got chicken though.
Beer cheese is cheese made with beer involved at some point. It's non-alcoholic and it creates a different flavor profile. I'm not totally crazy about it, but it's pretty easily found and worth trying.
Lol, the Mario songs stole it, but he did some traditional German songs and some by Coldplay and Red Hot Chili Peppers too.
Yummy 😋
Doesn't sound that good to me lol
Did he do the polka??? Hehe
Dude was in a chair, he didn't dance or anything. He did do some singing occasionally, but not on most of the songs. He's like... My age or a little younger. I think I knew him from somewhere at one point.
I have a feeling you know like everyone. Lol
I really don't. 😅 And when I do, I usually don't want to.
Wym?
I don't always like running into people I know. Especially when I'm grocery shopping
Lol true. I need mental preparation to socialize XD
Right? If I see people I know out in the wild I tend to keep a respectful distance, unless I really want to talk to them
That's me lol. Im kind of an ambivert lol
Lol, I didn't know that was a term. That sounds like me too
It's a thing lol
Yeah?
Yeah, I need time alone and I need time with others. I can't be energized by just one. My hobbies are more introverted, but I give extroverted vibes.
You just described me lol
Except that I am CONSTANTLY around people unless I'm in the bathroom, so I absolutely crave time alone.
Lol, I think that makes us a rare type of person... Maybe not, I dunno.
I'm pretty constantly around people too, except for maybe a few hours of the day.
Rare how?
At least you get hours. Not minutes. Lol
I dunno, most people identify as one or the other.
You should get hours too, somehow, you need them.
Idk how either. Like where could I go? If I felt like going somewhere
I dunno. You could always go walking somewhere? If it's too hot, maybe a big store or mall?
