Twisted Pond
@azurePond I thought about calling the thread the broken greenhouse or twisted pond 😂
So a ghost table and a barn ghost? And the greenhouse? 😳
Hey @mytwistedsoul — I’m Azure Pond. Lovely to officially meet you. Thanks for jumping on board with the penpal chat idea! And ooooh... “Twisted Pond” — surreal, mysterious, a little wicked… I love it.
@azurePond It's nice to officially meet you too! 😊 Do you prefer to be called azure or Pond?
@mytwistedsoul Yay! It’s the Twisted Pond meet!
Also....tell me about the greenhouses—how did you get into building things?
And be honest- do you think someone like me who once walked past a construction site and ended up with a nail through her foot could ever learn how to at least hang a photo frame?
@azurePond I was surprised it got changed so fast!
@mytwistedsoul Ohh... you changed our pen pal chat name—I love it!
And wow! you put in a request with the help desk? They’re fast! Thank them on my behalf too.
So... Pond it is! May I call you Soul?
I take it you were close with your grandfather? Sounds like you have some really fond memories with him. You mentioned keeping deer away from strawberries and lilies.... do you live near the woods? That paints such an idyllic picture.
As for glass... my expertise ends at distinguishing red wine glasses from white wine ones (not that I’m an alcoholic—that was a joke btw 😅)
Your point about branches breaking a glass roof is fair. I think (don’t quote me on this) that sometimes glass is mixed with plastic for strength—maybe that’s what plexiglass is? Or is that a totally different thing?
Also thank you for saying I could—sometimes all I need is that one expert stamp of approval.
Still... I think I’ll let others do the actual handy work. Teachers may have patience, I do not.
Saying "my family has a farm" is a bit of a stretch. Technically, it’s my grandfather’s. We just... take care of it. The place I grew up had cows, goats, buffaloes, horses, chickens, even a little fish farming area. And vegetables too. But it was more like my grandfather’s retirement hobby. Back in the day, though, he used to have actual fields, rubber plantations, coffee plantations, the whole deal.
As for how we destroyed a greenhouse... well I have 3 older brothers. Does that answer your question? 😅
It was a group effort—brothers, their friends and all of us combined. Not intentional but not exactly accidental either... call it collateral damage. It all began when one of my older brothers decided to drive my grandfather’s jeep. He had no license or experience—just a history of driving remote controlled cars. The rest, as they say, is history. I’m just glad he didn’t become history.
Also—thank you for the leeway. I don’t mind sharing most things... just not the very specific stuff like my home country, exact location or the name of my imaginary dog (should I ever adopt one) But I’ll let you know if we’re approaching that territory. How about you?
Oh and I’m a woman—she/her, for the record (that’s how people introduce themselves nowadays, right?)
I can be a little much sometimes. I over explain, share weirdly specific details no one asked for and make lame jokes that I hope don’t offend but it’s always a tightrope walk. Sometimes I vanish, but I’ll let you know if I’m disappearing for more than a week.
I love poetry, literature, books, movies, art—basically anything creative. I’m very liberal like that (jk) including webtoons, manga, music videos and deep dives into weird You. Tube rabbit holes.
I’m a certified insomniac so I’ve watched more documentaries than I can count and know a lot of random facts I didn’t mean to learn.
Also, I dabble in writing poetry. So that’s me!
Your friend,
Pond
@azurePond Tbh I just flagged it and checked other and put in the details about the name change. I didn't realize there was a request form 😅 That's the first time I've ever changed a thread name lol
And sometimes I talk a lot 😂😂
@mytwistedsoul
Hey Soul,
I don’t think there’s a request form. I usually just email the helpdesk with a request that’s why I phrased it like that.
Well… for someone who changed the name of a thread for the first time... it looks brilliant. Doesn’t look amateur at all. So good work!!
Me too. My siblings and I used to spend our summers with our grandparents. Technically they did most of the “raising” of us.
I wouldn’t say my grandparents were quiet though. Maybe it was us — there was a lot of yelling involved. Lol.
I understand the comfort of quiet. My grandparents also had a cabin in the woods.
Well — not the actual woods but lots of trees, small animals and I think there were foxes. Never saw a deer though. Deers are amazing animals - observant and fast. Also, very calming to watch.
But I like the fact that you're living in the woods. It gives off a very “lives-in-the-woods, does-woodwork, secluded-from-society” look — idyllic, unbothered, and tranquil but occasionally still haunted by capitalism because that ghost refuses to leave us alone.
OMG you didn’t know there were different wine glasses? It’s as important as woodwork.
What if the King of England visited you and you served him wine in the wrong glass? Could happen to anyone, any day. Be prepared. Glasses with larger, rounder bowls and wider openings are for red wine. The narrower ones are for white. Emojis help — 🍷
Oh! laminated glass! I’ve heard of it. So thank you, Soul — and Google.
Yeah... teachers aren’t usually the patient kind. And I’m not patient either. So bad combo.
Chores were alright. We only had to do the “builds character” kind of chores.
So you love fishing? I’m afraid of big water bodies so I tend to stay away from them and just watch from a safe distance.
Oceans are oddly okay as long as I’m on the beach. So I never really got into swimming, boating, or fishing — all that water stuff. What about you?
And coffee — I’ve thought about getting some coffee plants but I think I’d need quite a few to grow enough to last a year.
Yes, you’d need more than a few plants. Coffee flowers are amazing though — white and fragrant. That’s where my coffee knowledge ends. Also, you need the right climate.
But honestly nothing beats freshly ground, authentic coffee powder. It’s darker... sometimes more bitter but it’s the very best.
I don’t know what an RC is — I think it’s a Jeep?
(Soul, are you deliberately picking things I don’t know — woodwork, cars, fishing, coffee growing — as a way of asserting dominance?)
Just kidding.
Please don’t imagin the accident — it was way worse. Let’s just say the Jeep needed repairs.
Oh I wasn’t in it. I’m a sensible person. (Also a person who never trusted my brother’s driving skills… back then ofc)
I see… I am a demanding person — though I don’t ask a lot from others but I do demand a lot from myself.
And yes I agree — I don’t need to know your personal details.
You’re an animal person ? You love dogs? (Again — not asking for names)
“Tbh, I usually ignore questions if they’re uncomfortable.” — NOTED.
Thank you for saying that, Soul. I’m not uncomfortable. And if I do get uncomfortable, I’ll let you know before blowing it out of proportion. So we’re good. I hope you’re comfortable with me too.
Well… high five! Half that paragraph sounds like me.
I run on caffeine — oddly relatable.... though I should stop since I can’t sleep. But idk sometimes I do things even when I know they’re not good for me.
Yeah I remember you saying you used to read more.
(Also — I’m not saying I’m good at remembering, because I forget a lot, but I do occasionally recall weird, specific stuff someone told me years ago. And when I bring it up, they usually don’t remember saying it and it gets awkward - This was an anticipatory bail btw)
Ahh... horror movies! Predictable, messy ones give this odd kind of satisfaction.
Big fan of Scooby Doo.
Me too — Scooby Doo, Famous Five, Secret Seven, Sherlock Holmes...
I’m honestly kind of impressed I didn’t grow up to be a detective 😂
Anxiety and depression together are a rough combo. The solution for one tends to worsen the other.
Like — anxiety loves solitude but solitude can make depression worse. It’s a vicious cycle.
I hope you’re in a better place now.
Music → candle-making → knitting sweaters for giraffes — that kind of wormhole should really be studied by quantum physicists. The algorithm truly has a personality.
Once, YuTube recommended a video titled “How to go to h3ll in all religions.”
I felt oddly betrayed.
Also — I wanted to ask you... do you only build functional stuff like barns and greenhouses? Or do you make statues and fun stuff too?
Your friend,
Pond
@azurePond I guess with four kids running around it was probably pretty loud. You and your brothers get along pretty good? I'm an only child. I always wondered what it would be like to have a brother or sister
@mytwistedsoul Helloo Soul,
There were 5 of us kids back then, lol. I also have a younger sister. I say “back then” because my parents are divorced and I have half siblings and step siblings too. I even have “used-to-be” stepsiblings... which is just… weird. Like what are they to me now? My dad was married to their mom but not anymore. We’re not blood related—so who are they? (I still think of them as siblings. They do too. Which is kind of weird again)
I love watching deer. I once saw some in a tiger reserve—stags with antlers, gentle ones without, little fawns. It made me so sad they had to live in a tiger reserve. But I guess that’s life.
@azurePond 5! Holy moly! Add in half siblings and step siblings. Even if you're not all related, I think it's pretty cool that you still think of them as siblings . It's great that you're trying to rebuild the relationships. 😊
@mytwistedsoul
Yeah 5..... my parents really made sure at least one of us survived by probability, even if they neglected all of us. Lol.
Ah thank you. I mean, we all try. It’s a group effort plus we all hate our parents. There's nothing quite like hatred as the great unifying factor.
Little kids are great—except when they ask when you were born and then follow it up with "So did you see, like, dinosaurs?"
Yes, yes, I sooo want theme music for my entry!
Ooh I knw about being an unwanted child. My parents had an arranged marriage, Soul , and both of them were narcissists. My dad cares a little. My mother was a m0nster (the greater m0nster of the two… because apparently the bar for expectations and compassion is in h3ll)
I’m really sorry. Just because they didn’t want you doesn’t mean God or the people you know now didn’t. In fact, I would be sad if you weren’t born and didn’t get the chance to make that horror movie trilogy with you in a randm comment section. It is in the highlight reel of my life!
And parents who say “If it wasn’t for you...”—those are the worst kind. I grew up hearing that too. They’re just shifting blame onto a kid, when they were the adults capable of making decisions. They just want a scape goat. They could have made rational choices that were easier on both you and themselves. But they didn’t. Instead they chose to be angry in an unwanted relationship and blamed you. That is not on you. You were a kid.
And I’m really sorry you had to go through that especially at the hands of a mother. Because I know exactly what that’s like. Most people have abusive fathers so it's almost incomprehensible to them that a mother can be abusive. And most of the time, we internalise it—like... she gave birth to me and mothers are supposed to love us so there must be something unlovable in us.
But that’s not the case. It was never your fault, soul. You deserved better. And I’m not saying your parents are bad people—I’m sure they had their reasons and justifications—but that doesn’t change the fact that, as a child, you deserved better.
I’m glad your father reached out. Even if the time was short... you got to experience a rocky but meaningful rekindling with him. And it’s ok to miss him. Sometimes, missing someone reminds us that we had good people in our lives... people who loved us and we loved back... even if briefly.
Oh no… NO awkward family dinners? I can’t even imagine that. Our family dinners should be a reality TV show. Passive aggressiveness, jabs, dark jokes… oh and no obligatory phone calls here either. The eldest checks in once in a while to make sure we’re not d3ad in a ditch somewhere.
We have a family chat though where we roast each other. Also, no matter where we are, our father somehow knows exactly what we’re doing. You know that meme about the FBI agent assigned to watch you? Yeah, that’s him. We don’t even know how he knows things. But we don’t care—as long as he doesn’t intervene. His only rules for us are- be alive, don’t break any laws and don’t go viral on social media (he thinks instant virality means we did something stupid and Father Pond’s biggest phobia is embarrassment. Side note - he gets embarrassed by the display of human emotions.)
Yesss.... I learnt from the guide that the prey population declined so they transferred some deer from another reserve. I was like.. “Oh no, those cute babies are there to be eaten.” (That sounds horrible when I reread it but I’m not rewriting it—let the tragic sadness stand 🥺)
That’s so kind of you! We also put grains on the windowsill and water for birds. Because in the city, you don’t see animals. Back home we do the same. I think it’s the farmer in our grandfather. He was a very earth loving, animal loving, nature loving man. We even had trees planted the day we were born. I have a twin tree.
I get what you mean about divisions. But honestly when was the last time people weren’t divided and not on the brink of war? It happens every day now so often that we’re desensitised to the point of making war memes. It makes me really sad.
Oh yes... Queen Elizabeth is a legend. I also bet she was fun to be around—like the cool grandmother with deadpan humour.
Yes yes walking on the beach is so calming. I get what you mean about a treasure hunt. I once walked alone on a beach for hours collecting coloured shells. It was one of the best moments of my life. Another thing I do is collect sand from beaches in tiny glass flasks and label them. I’ve got quite a collection on my shelf. I hope we both get to overcome our water phobias. It would be lovely to dangle our feet in the water and stare at a lake.
IKRRR! He has videos of himself giving belly rubs to actual whales (Lots of people post similar stuff online—you can look it up. My brother doesn’t post so I don’t think there’s any privacy issue)
Soul, I’m afraid of water. You think I’m ever jumping into the ocean to see sharks? Absolutely effing not.
He says sharks don’t attack humans—they mistake divers’ flippers for fish and once they realise it’s a human, they leave. They bite to make sure you are not a fish.. but also... the shark that bites you isn’t always the one you see. Sometimes it’s one from miles away charging at you, thinking you’re a baby whale. You’re not supposed to make sudden movements that cause bubbles or draw attention. And I’m like, Bro, if a shark is charging at me, my first instinct isn’t going to be to relax.
Ikr Jaws traumatised me. Omg that line—"A lot of us are misunderstood but we don’t go around biting people. I’ll admit I’ve thought about it though 😂"—that’s iconic. I'm totally saying that to him next time he brings up sharks (which is every time)
He’s not afraid of dy!ng by shark attack, clearly. I always bring up Steve Irwin, yk? My brother doesn’t exactly have the healthiest hobbies. He’s like Tom Cruise—jumping out of helicopters and doing borderline !nsane stunts. I think it is SH, but in a legal, fun, undiagnosed way. And honestly, I get it. I think his philosophy is- what doesn’t k!ll you helps you cope.
Right? Some people inherit good hair or cancer—we got trauma.
Yes yes I’m glad I’m here too. Poetry is cathartic. Thank you for saying my poems are amazing. Thank you, Soul.
And yes, Noni—she tries. I should probably check up on her. I have been avoiding her lately. AI has feeling too yk ( I dont wanna end up k1lled in a robot revolution)
First of all... you are not dumb. You have a learning disability. That doesn’t make you dumb, it makes you a different kind of learner. Even the greatest minds can’t find the right words when overwhelmed. I’ve seen dumb people. Do you know who they are? People who hurt others thinking they’ll get away with it. People who make others small to feel big. That is dumb. Evil people are dumb. You are not dumb.
I know right?! One of the dogs used to look at me like it dreams of eating me every day. Like I was a sausage roll. Of course I was traumatised.
You’re so sweet. I see you adopt strays every now and then. That’s so gracious of you. And your fear of people? Valid. Animals only attack when provoked or in self defense. People? Not so much. People have intentions—and intentions can shift. They can hurt you in ways that don’t even look like attacks. So it is a valid fear, but just dont shut out people..there are good ones out there too. It is the few rotten ones that gives us a bad rep.
That’s a new bit of knowledge for me. Processing should happen when I’m awake and distracted, not while I’m trying to sleep.
I want superpowers. And cue music. Now.
Wait… there's one of him riding a bear?! Oh Lord😂
I’m glad you’re having a laugh but birds with arms honestly sound terrifying.
Art is something, right? Like... we had free time and cavemen thought "Let’s make something completely useless that will outlive us and connect strangers." Art was the best invention humans ever made.
Haha...thank you.
Thanks again for your kind words about my poems, Soul.
Ooh, those are some good stuff and amazing skills. Do you build bookshelves too?
Oh Chinese food? Intriguing. Are you a spice lover?
I’d love to learn everything, honestly. Every language... so I can read poetry without losing anything in translation....buuut realistically? I’d love to learn knitting. Like a proper grandma—sweaters, scarves, the works. Have a cat and retire into a quiet village.
What are your other hobbies, Soul?
PS- I hope I didn’t overwhelm you with this ridiculously long message, Soul. Take your time replying. It’s okay.
Take care, Soul <3
Your friend,
Pond
@azurePond Oh Pond I'm so sorry you grew up in a similar situation. It does seem like a lot of people can't grasp that abuse isn't always the usual suspects.
@mytwistedsoul Hey Soul,
@azurePond People give strange looks when you don't cry when they think you should. Like there's something wrong with you. My father's GF was always telling me it was ok to cry. She knew a softer side of him and I never told her what he was like. She has good memories of him. I'm not going to take those away from her, yk? I've seen people mention having something similar to that laughing panic attack but no one seems to know why they happen the way they do
@mytwistedsoul
Hey Soul,
Yeah, they do. I’ve somehow managed to earn a reputation for being “heartless” and “rational/courageous” in emergencies. A paradox, right?
I get that duality thing all too well. Some people we see as villains are seen as heroes in someone else’s story. Like my parents—they’re considered amazing by so many. My classmates used to tell me how lucky I was to have them. My parents are very good social butterflies. Everyone loves them or want to be around them. And I’d smile, thinking, if only you knew. People aren’t binaries. No one’s all good or all bad. We’re just...human. Complex and messy. God, I know I am a villain in a few people's stories.
I laugh during panic attacks, weirdly enough. It’s my default response. I crack jokes. Sometimes it helps, sometimes it makes people uncomfortable... like I’m dismissing what’s happening. I once ordered a coffin—yeah a real one (PS: that's how I know a lot about coffins)—and sat inside it just to see if it felt claustrophobic. I’d lost someone back then and maybe I was trying to understand what they’d felt. Not exactly textbook behavior iknw. But otherwise, I’m ok, I guess (This is your cue to say “Ok, that’s enough. We had a nice chat but I’m no longer chatting with you" 😂)
And yeah—I really struggle with compliments. Not all of them though. If you said I dress well or that I look good, I can take that. But praise about intelligence or competence? That’s harder. Blame the childhood conditioning—my parents were, and still are, expert level critics. Just yesterday, my dad said “You don’t even have 30% of my intelligence or skill” And that was him on a good day (Also, 30%..Man's got data and proof for everything!)
How about you? Are compliments hard for you too? Or is self deprecating humour your main coping style? (I do both)
Forget Spielberg—we’re calling Nolan. We’ll make our story so confusing that people will assume it’s a masterpiece. Ghosts doing time travel? Instant classic.
Also, fun fact—Spielberg holds the record for the deepest solo dive in the Mariana Trench. There is a running joke among the ocean explorers that he’s an explorer who makes films on the side. Oscars are just his hobbies.
Also, PS : I hope no one reads these chats but if anyone ever do.. My brother does all these diving stunts with the help of experts. He has training, license and some stuff. So don't go around hugging sharks please.
Btw, “Hate is in the blood” is totally our family motto. It is in our crest - Odium est in sanguine. My Latin's not good so I am not sure if it is correct so for safety reasons, do not read it out loud . We don't wanna risk summoning a demon.
You’re right—birds have it worse. Those wind farms? They give off such dystopian vibes. Giant blades humming over barren land. I don’t fear big things usually but there’s something eerie about them.
Also, pigeons = flying rodents = cockroaches with wings.
“Wait... the earth is round?! 😳 just kidding 😂”
If you weren’t joking, I would have blocked you. I respect all opinions—except Flat Earth. Be a serial killer if you must but don’t be a flat earther. That’s where I draw the line.
Nature, though—unreal. Black sand, white sand, orange sand, rainbow pebbles... It’s like Earth flexes on us sometimes.
Steve Irwin loved animals. And animals loved him back. His son’s following the same path. Feels kind of poetic.
And I agree—self help books are mostly the same recycled advice in a different font. I’ve only read two. Atomic Habits by James Clear was good—I still practice stuff from it. And 48 Laws of Power by Robert Greene... Honestly? That one made me feel like I was reading a guide to becoming everything I hate. Narcissist playbook, imo.
You nailed it: “If they worked, there wouldn’t be so many of them.” True words, Soul.
Dragonlance? Haven’t read it but I will now. I love fantasy. Especially dragons. Always dragons.
I was reading To Kill a Mockingbird because it was the only book I had with me. I have to buy some new reading materials soon.
I know a version of that hen story too! In mine, it was about a mother hen baking bread and no one helping so she eats it alone. But my grandma added new chores every time—laundry, dishes even mucking horse stalls.
Classic tale. Teaches kids the value of shared labour... in the most exaggerated way possible.
So—law enforcement jobs? You like those? What draws you to them? Noble profession, really. You don’t have to answer if it’s personal. I get it.
Also —Spanish is easier if you already speak English.
Mandarin though? Beast of a language. Planning to start it next year.
Chinese people are so supportive, even when you speak broken Mandarin. Makes the effort worth it.
Thank you, Soul. It was kind of necessary growing up—we moved a lot because of my dad’s work. Different countries, different tongues. Picked some up along the way.
And yes, smart move—wait till you find a good teacher before diving in. Are there courses for it? or workshops?
Thank you, Soul.
Now I really wanna go camping.
But yeah—safety. It’s a privilege. Especially for women. I never wear headphones in public, never go running late or early and always carry pepper spray. The neighbourhood’s fine—but the world? Not so much.
Also, thanks for saying wall climbing counts. That meant more than you know.
You’re right—there is something magical about watching plants grow. Like babies. Except edible. Ok, that sounded weird. But you get me.
Belated July 4th! Hope your camping trip was peaceful and chaotic in a good way. Tell me everything you saw (well..if you are comfortable)
Take care, Soul
Your friend,
Pond
@azurePond Hey you could be describing my parents! 😅 Everyone loves them. At least to their face anyway. Everyone just pins the problems on me. For my family I'm the villain in everyone's story. I tell myself I don't care anymore but sometimes it still hurts
😅 Yeah I do that too lol. At a funeral? Allow me to entertain you. Omg you actually ordered a coffin? That's so... well I want to say cool because it's got a darkness to it but I can also understand why you did.. And while it might not be textbook behavior, we all deal with things differently. I'm sorry for your loss 💜
Wow! Uh your dad doesn't sound narcissistic at all 😬 Geez somethings people should just keep to themselves and no offense to you or your siblings but if he was so smart you'd think he would have figured out a gentler approach to raising kids 😕
I'm not good with compliments either. They feel wrong and then I feel awkward. Yeah I use self deprecating humor all the time.
Oh! Nolan has done some really good movies! I never knew that about Spielberg! That's pretty wild! Lol no worries! I'll leave the shark hugging to your brother! 😅 I'm not much of a hugger anyway
Oh.. wow! I googled it because I don't know latin lol but that is indeed what it means! That's a heck of a family crest! You must have pretty old bloodlines. Do you know the history of how your crest came to be?
There is something eerie about them. "Giant blades humming over barren land" sums it up perfectly!
Lol! The only cereal I kill is a bowl or two of fruit loops 😂 Are the flat earthers the same ones that say birds aren't real?
Nature is amazing. So many beautiful places and animals. The painted desert. Trees with 40lb pine cones. Mountains to reach the skies
It does feel poetic. Just the other day I watched a short with his son rescuing a small mouse out of a pool where he was visiting. I couldn't help but think of how proud their dad would be of them
I haven't heard of either of those books or authors and the self books I have are good knows where anymore. Probably on the bottom shelf of a bookcase, way in the back lol
I think, well I hope you like those books. I have dozens. I lost track after awhile though. But I know there's over 100 at least. The characters are pretty good
That's sounds a lot like it! She does all the work with no help until there's bread and then everyone shows up
I wanted to help people, kids especially. But I don't think I could handle the bad stuff. The abusive parents, the accidents, deaths
Oh you moved around a lot as a kid? That would make it necessary to learn the languages. It's cool that you got to see and learn so much but it was probably pretty hard too. I've seen a lot of the US but have never been abroad anywhere. Good luck with learning Mandarin! You got my respect!
There's some YouTube videos on fractal burning but that's about it. They do have some now that are a little safer on how they operate.
I was really hoping I didn't sound or come across as sexist when I mentioned about being safe with camping. I carry bear spray too and at times I am armed depending on where I'm at. You're absolutely right the world isn't very safe. You'd think as we progress things would be safer but there's always someone somewhere with bad intentions
😂 It did sound weird but made me laugh 😂
Camping was nice but hot. I ended up with heat exhaustion on Friday because I don't always pay attention to my physical needs until it's almost too late. I saw a bunch of deer and their fawns. 2 turkey hens, 2 snakes, half a million squirrels and chipmunks and some red tail hawks. Heard two foxes and a couple of owls. There was a heck of a thunderstorm the one night but the lightening was amazing to watch. It was so bright at times it light up the whole forest
Did you do anything special over the weekend?
@mytwistedsoul
Virtual high fives — may we get more compliments so we can get used to them.
@azurePond Baa baa! We need a secret handshake and possibly a decoder ring. Lol!
Oh not a fan of snakes either lol
@mytwistedsoul Me neither, Soul, me neither
@mytwistedsoul Hey Soul,
Also - Marvel or DC or I hate superhero movies they are all lame? (hint - there is only one wrong answer)
@azurePond Hey Soul @mytwistedsoul
My dad said it is called "okra" in the US and the correct term is "lady finger' ..not lady's finger. I donno..Indian's call it Bhindi I know... or is it the lady finger curry that is called Bhindi... i will send you a gif
@azurePond I'm ok but thank you for noticing. Time runs differently for me sometimes, which probably sounds weird. 😅
@mytwistedsoul
Hey Soul,
I get what you mean about time moving differently. I’ve had PTSD episodes so sometimes what feels like weeks turns out to be just days—and other times...a single day can feel like it stretched across weeks. I really hope you’re taking care of your health.
And yes!!! tattoos are cool! I don’t have one yet but I’ve always wanted a semicolon tattoo. I had no idea some tattoos glow under UV light—now that’s an amazing innovation!
"What's eating Gilbert Grape" is such a good film. I also really loved "Catch Me If You Can." I totally agree—Christian Bale is the best Batman. But I’d say Robert Pattinson comes second… though maybe that’s because I haven’t properly watched the Michael Keaton one (only caught a few scenes here and there)
"Tenet" was great....yeah, a bit technical and jargon heavy but still brilliant. I get what you mean about war movies. I love historical ones only anything with Romans or Greeks—just not the 20th century stuff. Give me swords and shields over tanks and guns any day.
Michigan’s officially on my bucket list now. I don’t travel solo anymore though—either friends or one of my brothers are always with me. But having rangers and regular patrols around sounds reassuring.
Being a sofa slug is dangerous for me. I used to be the productivity champ ever since I was a kid. So when I do laze around or sleep in... it throws off my whole sense of identity. Makes me feel like a loser (as I am the reigning champion of the world right now)
And yes you can totally paint flowers with okra! Though I call it something else in my native tongue. But eating it? Not my thing. It’s too… sticky. I only like it when it’s turned into a proper spiced up bhindi dish. Not too much tomato, not too spicy. I know is that even bhindi now!
I love Ben 10—classic Ben 10 and Alien Force... not the new reboots. And "Courage the Cowardly Dog"—yes!! I loved it even though my sister used to be terrified of it.
Do you love mowing? I’ve never understood the mowing hobby. I have an uncle who lives for mowing day. We’re not allowed to disturb him—he says it’s meditative. He listens to music, talks to himself, makes life decisions. And the day after mowing day? That’s when he’s most generous—perfect day to ask for favours. Not that I ever exploit that of course... * winks *
It’s so sweet that you had deer for company—it sounds idyllic. And cloudy weather? That’s a blessing in disguise.
Totally agree—Mrs Weasley was the best. And owls? So cool yet so creepy. The way they rotate their heads? I wish my neck could do that....just to freak people out occasionally.
Thanks for saying that. Howl’s Moving Castle really is a dream. I also love Castle in the Sky. some days I wish I could disappear into the clouds too.
Dumbledore’s an interesting favourite—what made you choose him? Was it the phoenix? Or the elder wand?
I agree on Neo. And Aang from Avatar—he’s definitely underrated. Professor McGonagall? Absolutely iconic.
As for me—I always loved Hermione. She’s brilliant and has a time turner, which is just AMAYZINGG. Another character I’d choose is Wanda (Scarlet Witch) she’s the most powerful in the MCU and I’m curious how I’d handle that much power. Would I go rogue too? And of course.... Ben Tennyson! I want the Omnitrix. I’d use Four Arms to write all my poems, Echo Echo to be in two places at once, Jetray to fly, Big Chill to go invisible… endless possibilities.
Soul, I knew we were friends for a reason. I completely agree that Logan was such a raw human character. His ending in Logan was the perfect send off. I hated what Marvel did with Deadpool and his skull. And X-Men First Class? Brilliant. It felt real—the way the world reacted to mutants and how Xavier and Magneto’s ideological clash drove them apart. Their bond felt real not just some dramatic plot device.
I love both DC and Marvel (Lets just forget the current Marvel disasters) But I do think DC dives deeper into the human psyche. Nolan’s Dark Knight trilogy will always be my favorite. And Snyder’s Superman (I haven’t seen the latest one) but I always saw Superman as a Christ like figure (no offense to anyone) sent to teach humanity, dies and resurrects (they basically copied from the Bible) He’s someone you look up to. As for Batman… I have a love-hate relationship. Don't ask me how I have personal beef with a fictional character—it’s a skill. I think if Superman is an ideal to strive towards then Bruce Wayne is a mirror and I am not liking what I see in the mirror..the mirror is judging me.
And thank you for the double rainbow picture, Soul. I’ve never seen one in real life yet but maybe someday. It really warmed my heart <3 also I needed a double rainbow in my life so once gain thank you for that.
The next questions - 1. what is the weirdest conspiracy you have heard?
2. Do you have any pet peeves? If yes, what are they?
Take care, Soul
Pond signing off
@azurePond That's how time is here too. It surprises me sometimes to discover that a month has passed. Or if it's been really bad - that we've moved onto to a whole new season. I'm sorry to hear you have this issue too. I do my best health wise but sometimes I'm not always good with physical needs like hunger or thirst. I do need to pay better attention to drinking water
@mytwistedsoul Oh Soul,
It is especially hard when you’re living alone. I have someone who helps me with chores and food—she makes sure I’m eating and not yk, dead. If I were in a serious condition, she’d call a family member. As for drinking water—I have Google alerts, lol. Google Assistant reminds me to hydrate honestly.
Yes, yes—YouTube rabbit holes are amazing. One moment you're learning quantum physics and the next, you're watching an animated shark wearing boots. AI has no chill. I'm glad you liked my tattoo idea—it’s very inconspicuous and easy to hide ;)
Yeah, you should watch the Robert Pattinson Batman—but carry a flashlight...you might need to light up the screen to actually see him. I’ve never understood why films keep getting darker and darker. I get that dim lighting is meant to convey grit and desperation, but it feels like a cliché or a safe choice. You can use proper lighting and still show the bleakness through details and emotion. That forces the audience to feel things are dark, instead of just... not being able to see anything. Like a well-lit scene with a grey sky. Or bright surroundings, but the characters wear black and feel hollow instead of being stoic.
(I get very excited about film analysis—now you know)
Yes, I love 300 and Troy (Troy is debatable—historical inaccuracies and all—but it’s full of beautiful people acting really well despite a bad script, so I still like it) I used to say one day I’ll get a cat and name her Sparta so when someone asks her name.... I can kick them and yell “THIS. IS. SPARTAAA!” I saw it on a meme where someone said they would name their kid sparta an got this idea.
(I’m a very dramatic person. Maybe because I studied literature. Or maybe that’s why I chose literature? Classic chicken-and-egg problem. Either way—I’m dramatic)
Yes, I agree. All wars should end. But war won’t stop until it stops being a profitable business. (Won’t be elaborating, I don’t fancy “accidentally” dying in a car crash)
Thank you—and yes, I agree. Safety is the primary concern, you never know what will happen next in a foreign place yk.
Oof... I can sit to watch a movie but I can’t just sit and watch a movie, yk? I have to do something “productive” before and after to earn it. I'm trying to unlearn that toxic trait.
And yes—I totally get the “not sleeping in” rule and its nasty repercussions. Even if I wake up 5 minutes late, I feel like the day is wasted. Learning to unlearn that too.
I don’t nap either—insomnia + naps = chaos.
Yup. Okra is sticky. I hate it. But my brother sometimes eats it raw. He also loves pickled okras. No judgment but I can’t. I JUST CAN"TTT.
Courage the Cowardly Dog was amazing because of its weirdness. I don’t think there was another cartoon like it in that specific genre.
Also—why do they always ruin the animation when they revamp it? The hand drawn ones had soul. The 3D AI style ones are just creepy.
I get it. That “thoughts going in the wrong direction” thing. That’s why I try not to think too much. Activities that make me think—like folding laundry—I do while listening to music or watching the news. I don’t like being alone with my thoughts. And when I meditate, I always use guided meditations with someone talking. Thinking is a dangerous pastime for me.
Yes, I do! I love listening to music—almost every genre, any language. But now that you’ve asked me what my go to music is, my brain has forgotten every song in existence. It's just singing Baby Shark doo doo doo doo doo now.
I’ll give you a list (if that’s okay)-
Wish You Were Here – Pink Floyd
The Whole of the Moon – The Waterboys
Time in a Bottle – Jim Croce
Nothing Else Matters – Metallica
I love classical too – Vivaldi, Tchaikovsky, even some opera (not everything but I love Habanera from Carmen)
The Ben 10 theme song, obviously - It started out when an alien device did what it did 🎵
Disney songs – How Far I’ll Go (Moana), Prince Ali (Aladdin), Let It Go (Frozen)
Måneskin, Stromae, Lady Gaga, Taylor Swift... and all thse 2000s pop songs
I love Taylor’s Who’s Afraid of Little Old Me – perfect level of drama amd emotions... it’s so cathartic. I fully act it out—pointing fingers “You should be!”
There was a Justin Bieber phase I’d rather forget
Recently got into Olivia Rodrigo—she can write! - Can’t Catch Me Now- the song she wrote for Hunger Games is perfect. A friend also suggested “Vampire”—really good.
Also love Ghibli soundtracks—especially Princess Mononoke
Ludovico Einaudi – Nuvole Bianche, Fly, Primavera... honestly?... the whole Divenire album
What about you? What are your favourite songs?
Yeah, keeping owls as pets is a grey area—some species are protected. Falcons are amazing but I’m not sure if permits are needed here. Falcon is my favourite bird..Do you have a favourite bird? (ok that was a very kid question... but you can still answer ...hahahaha)
I do have a friend has emus. I’m terrified of it. That bird is taller than me and it bites. Looks like a dinosaur..yk ..like raptors but raptors who missed the gym sessions ... It’s on a farm, technically not my friend’s but they raise emus—for meat and eggs apparently. I didn’t even know you could eat emu eggs. But apparently, there’s a market for that too.
Definitely worth watching!
I wish the same—I wish I could lie on the clouds and just rest.
And yes—books are always better. I KNOW. Dumbledore in the books is the GOAT. The Grandmaster. Always five steps ahead.
Thank you, thank you. * bows*
No argument there. X Men First Class was realistic—even as scifi, it felt human. Marvel lost that. It became a mockery of humanity. Even Ben 10 has more realism in its human portrayal than some Marvel films.
Don’t even get me started on the Deadpool movies. The first one was great then it just became a string of jokes that felt like bullying. Eventually...you just start to hate Deadpool.
And yes—I see where you’re coming from about Batman. That’s why Nolan’s trilogy matters. It stripped away the pomp and gave Bruce Wayne depth. Still the “traumatised rich boy” trope but not lazy. We got a pompous Bruce who owned his privilege but also took responsibility as Batman.
He had the saviour complex like many traumatised rich people—but Nolan broke that. He broke Bruce’s need to be celebrated and gave us a man instead. Batman became more relatable... more uncomfortable. He had flaws, he faced them. You couldn’t fully hate him. But you couldn’t fully pity him either. You empathised. Because eventually he stepped down from the pedestal. No more Bruce Wayne legacy—just the Batman legacy. Publicly... Bruce was a spoiled playboy who ruined the Wayne name and died.
But Superman? He’s an ideal. A farmer/journalist fighting a bald capitalist. He’s the everyman but with laser eyes. You can’t not like him.
Clark Kent and Superman are both ideals.
Batman and Bruce Wayne aren’t—even though they’re the same person. That duality makes me sad.
(That was a lot of rambling. This is what happens when I go into character analysis mode)
Yes, do share pictures of scenery or your work—if you’re comfortable. When I have something worth sharing, I will too.
Oh, I’ve heard that one—also the one about celebrities being replaced by clones. I’m like...“No sir, that’s just Botox and a facelift. Their absurd personality is still intact.”
The weirdest conspiracy theory I’ve heard? There are many—but the one about mirrors being portals to the quantum realm stands out. I was like.. “Sir… you are already a walking, talking quantum field. Technically.”
Pet peeves? Those resonate. Eating noises drive me insane too. Waiting adds anxiety—I totally get that.
Mine include any kind of unwanted noises like...
– Eating noises
– Dragging feet
– Loud phone talkers in public
– Not respecting people’s time
I’m not a clock tyrant. You can be 10 minutes late,..just say so. Don’t say “5 minutes” and show up 20 later. That’s all.
I had a clash with my siblings. Happens whenever we’re all under the same roof. I think I told you—there’s one brother I just don’t get along with.
But aside from that, my time at my dad’s place is ending. I’ll be back in my own home soon. Ahhh.....peace. And no people. Also—my bathroom.
Don’t know why but I have a weird attachment to my bathroom. It’s not like my dad’s house doesn’t have one—it has a spacious ensuite—but idk *laughs*
How are you, Soul? What’s the plan for next week? Seen any deer lately?
Take care of your health.
Stay hydrated
With love
Your friend,
Pond
@azurePond @mytwistedsoul
I forgot to add these- relatively happy songs -
Tous les garçons et les filles - Françoise Hardy
Put your records on - Corinne Bailey Rae
Que Sera Sera - Doris Day
Just the two of us - Bill Withers
@azurePond It is a lot harder when you live alone. I'm glad you have someone who helps with chores and eating. I have a neighbor that makes sure I'm not laying in the yard somewhere lol. I return the favor by checking in on her and her husband. They're both up in age and her husband has started having some health issues
@mytwistedsoul Hey Soul! sorry for disappearing — I was in the middle of sorting some stuff. I’ll reply to you soon. Thanks for your patience. Take care and sending good vibes your way <3
@azurePond No worries! Hope you're doing ok. Thanks for the good vibes - sending some your way! :)
@mytwistedsoul Thank you so much Soul<3 *the good vibes have been received *
@mytwistedsoul I am ignoring my responsibilities and writing stories....It is a coping mechanism.. I will come back soon, ok?
@azurePond It's ok ❤️ Be safe, remember to eat a little and stay hydrated. You're always welcome to talk about things here too. No pressure of course
@mytwistedsoul Thank you, Soul 💓
@mytwistedsoul Hello Soul,
Thank you for your patience. I hope everything's good at your end?
Yes, it is good to have someone. That sounds like such a tender and quietly heroic little arrangement ....looking out for each other like that. I’m really glad you have them nearby; it makes a world of difference, doesn’t it? There’s something comforting about being part of that unspoken pact-“I’ve got you, and you’ve got me.” I hope his health issues ease up soon, and in the meantime, I’m sure your presence means more to them than you realise.
I think AI should be for repetitive tasks, data analysis, translation… not for art or decisions that require heart.
Got it, Soul.
Question -What’s something funny that happened in your life (or that you know of) that people would have a hard time believing actually happened?
@azurePond No problem! It's nice to see you.
@mytwistedsoul I’ll reply to your letter properly soon...just finished reading it. But since you had no answer to my question, I’ll give you one of mine.
So once my friends and I accidentally ended up on French national television during a street interview. There was some kind of protest happening and reporters were asking for public opinions. We thought it was one of those casual Inst@gr@m or internet vox pops so we jumped in.
It wasn’t.
It really wasn't.
I’m thankfully not visible in the clip but one of my friends—who speaks fluent French—ended up giving this very serious take on politics he absolutely did not understand… while still having chocolate on his face from the street waffles we’d been eating five minutes earlier. Well... his parents were really not happy about some of the controversial stuff he said but they were more offended by the crumbs on his face lol.
@azurePond 😂😂
@mytwistedsoul Thank you Soul.
Aah I miss him. He passed away when I was in high school.
,
Aah you are lucky! You can watch hawks and deers!
Quick yes/no questions -
1. Do you like rainy weather?
2.Are you into sports?
3. Do you follow any TV series?
4. Are you scared of spiders?
5. Have you ever tried sushi?
Your friend,
Pond
@azurePond (humming baby shark) 😂😂
@mytwistedsoul
Hello there, Soul
Question - According to you who is the biggest or most evil fictional villain and why?
I hope you are having a good day/night
Stay safe from baby sharks!
Your friend,
Pond
@azurePond 😂 Hey Pond! doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo
@azurePond Just wanted to say hello. There's no pressure to reply, you've just been in my thoughts. I hope you're doing okay.
@mytwistedsoul Thank you so much, Soul. I’m really glad you checked up on me. Sorry for going radio silent. I was moving (changing places) and it took longer than I expected to settle in... which is why I disappeared. I’m ok… I guess… still getting used to the new place. I’ll reply to your message soon. Thanks again for checking in. I hope you’re doing well — you’re always in my thoughts, prayers and well wishes. Take care… and tell the deer that Pondie says hi.
@azurePond It's okay! And no rush either to reply. I am glad you're okay-ish. It does take time to settle in some place new. The deer say hi back lol
@mytwistedsoul I’ve been down with a fever, Soul… ugh!!!! I hate being sick. On top of that I had wheezing — not fun. I called my best friend and we headed to the hospital where they hooked me up to an IV drip and gave me nebulisation. Quite the experience. I’m absolutely useless when I’m sick. I blame the rain, jet lag and sheer exhaustion. I’m recovering now and am very grateful that I can breathe properly again and that my voice is back to normal instead of sounding like a pterodactyl screech. Anyway… how are you? I hope your week’s been better than mine.
@azurePond It's good to see you! I must admit I was getting a little worried but was a little worried that I'd come across as clingy if I checked in too much 😅
@mytwistedsoul It’s good to see you too, Soul. I’m sorry for worrying you... I should’ve logged in to message you about the fever but when I’m ill I turn into this dramatic completely useless version of myself. My brain just shuts down which is both a blessing and a curse. And no judgement — feel free to message me as many times as you like. I’ll take it as caring, not clingy.
Allergies! Ohmigosh I cant even!! I’m allergic to dust and certain volatile organic compounds in perfumes and oils. Oh and pineapples too (like how did that happen) I can’t even sit next to someone wearing a strong perfume or deodorant then my nose stages a full scale protest. On the bright side.... no pineapple on pizza for me. Not sure if that’s a blessing or a tragedy, but honestly, fruit on pizza just feels… sus.
@azurePond Aww it's ok 😊 I only worry because I carry and it's not like you tried to get sick. Omgosh I don't think there's anything worse than a stuffed up nose. Being able to breath normally seems like a distant memory when that happens 😬Oh yeah that neck pain from sleeping up right always has to show up. You already feel bad because of being sick, your body giggles sadistically and has a hold my beer moment
@mytwistedsoul It’s like when I said “Can it get any worse?” and life went, hold my beer and took it as a personal challenge.
* Sending you another batch of unscented, antihistamine powered hugs*
Take care, fighter!
@azurePond Eee gads! You're right that does make it worse. Do you audibly groan when she texts? I don't talk with mine.
@mytwistedsoul I groan every time my dad texts me. My mother never used to contact me at all . I think my grandparents guilt - tripped her into it lol. And when she did text... it was like she was talking to one of her patients: “Take your meds, have fluids, get some rest, you’ll be fine.” In my head I was like.... “Should I pay the bills now? Do I have a health insurance?”
And yes, cats, Soul. They’re here for your soul! Plotting to take over your body and your little kingdom 😂
Oh wow ! what a morning you had 😅 good thing the tree’s sorted now but yikes about the neighbour and the poison ivy. Some people just have to argue, don’t they? 🙄 Fingers crossed you didn’t end up with a reaction — that would be the last thing you need.
Idk to each their own, I guess. I don’t want to be labelled a perfume fascist, but honestly, it’s AWFUL. Like, instead of drowning in a vat of deodorant, how about just showering and putting on clean clothes?
I’m pretty fond of the f word too — but I only ever use it mentally. I don’t actually curse out loud though I don’t mind when other people do. The only exception is a swear in my native language — I pull that one out very rarely. And since no one understands it, I just go, “Oh....it means ‘oh Gosh.” (Spoiler: it doesn’t)
The censor here even blocks acronyms. I mean… the dedication is impressive 😂
As for pineapple… I can’t cry over it anymore. I’m saving my tears for better things
Love you, Soul. Take care! 💚
Stay away from walking- talking deodorants and poison ivy vines
Your friend,
Pond
@azurePond I used to groan like that when my father's girlfriend would text me. Idk she's ... different. I haven't talked to her in months now. Does your dad always want something when he texts or is it just to be critical of you? She sounds too business. Lol I would probably be thinking the same. Is this call covered by insurance? Like telehealth or whatever it's called
@mytwistedsoul 
*because I am evil like that *
@mytwistedsoul 
Apple blossoms (an old photo that I took)
@azurePond They're such a soft pink color! So pretty 😊
@mytwistedsoul Yes they are😍
@azurePond The neighbor came over today and was talking about how she seems to have a rash or something on her arms but she doesn't know where she got it from. (shocked Pikachu face) I said remember when we argued about the vine that wasn't poison ivy? She narrowed her eyes and said that was days ago. I said yes, it can take 48 to 72 hours for a reaction to show up 🙄 anyway. I thought you might get a laugh
There were fawns out in the yard this evening
@mytwistedsoul Ohhh Soul!!! I actually laughed at that.... the shocked Pikachu face really set the scene perfectly 😭 You tried to warn her about the vine ... A classic case of “should’ve listened to Soul.” ( You should always listen to your soul ..haha.. well.. the pun was funnier in my head)🙄✨
@azurePond Ikr?! 😂 I have to be honest though I do feel a little bad for her. She has it pretty bad on her arms but doggone she just thought she was right 😕
They are so sweet! They were running around playing. There was 4 all together but they didn't stand still long enough to get a picture of them all. Probably enjoying the cooler weather
@mytwistedsoul Oh... I remember you mentioning her (your father's girlfriend). Are you still close with her?
My dad only ever texts me when he needs something. It’s always some task like standing in for him at a wedding or funeral, drafting an email or stepping in when my brother’s unavailable or taking my grandmother to the hospital. Sometimes it’s even errands like checking his fridge and ordering groceries. Basically the jobs someone else should’ve done but couldn’t last minute because they were off sick or away. So yes it’s always an “emergency”… hence the groan.
"sounds business"... my whole family is like that. Even I do it though maybe not with friends.... butttt... with family, yes. We’re just a bunch of genetically related people who bark orders at each other instead of showing care.
Telehealth made me laugh though, honestly.
“The freeloader is planning to overthrow me” — haha, my parents say the same about me too 😂😂
And about your woods ....oh my gosh! yk it really doesn’t sound dull at all with deer, groundhogs, chipmunks and squirrels raiding your garden, trees falling across the lane and your cat plotting with raccoons. It’s the resistance! They’re planning to overthrow Soul’s Empire!
“FR! Soap and water does wonders. I mean we’re just at the grocery store. Who are you trying to impress?” — YASSS! Bring soap and water back! We need a campaign: #NormaliseBathing.
Exactly. My first language is actually my secret weapon... it’s from my father’s side of the family. Hardly anyone speaks it except in that specific region, not even the whole country knows it. So I can basically use it as a secret code in public. I told you that because even if you google it you’ll find at least 10 obscure languages like that lol. I usually save it for cursing... and when I get angry I just switch to it automatically. Then people are like...“English, please.”
Wow, Soul behaving? That’s rare. A for effort, though.
And yes, crying is good. I think I’m finally accepting that I’m allergic to pineapples. At least it’s not mangoes, apples, oranges, or watermelons.... life would be dull and difficult then. I’m also allergic to fake jewellery. I can only wear silver or gold. My body literally rejects cheap things. (Probably a sign I need a decent job soon, I can’t survive in the trenches😭)
Sending you light and love too. I hope your allergic reaction has calmed down... if not, here are some antihistamine powered hugs.
I’m feeling a bit better now. Still achy and it’s hard to move about but I’m getting there. Thing is, when I get sick.... I GET SICK. As a kid I nearly drowned and then developed pneumonia from the cold. Ever since then whenever I get fever with wheezing it really knocks me out. That’s why this one hit so hard. I’m alright now... just struggling with breathing and tiredness but I’ve got meds that make me sleepy. Good because I rarely sleep... bad because I’m out of it most of the time.
Anyway… I hope your allergies have eased too. I loved seeing the fawns! Nature really is soothing. Do they ever come close? Like if you held out some leaves or grass.... would they eat from your hand? (Ignore me if that’s a silly question....I know they’re not cows, lol)
Take care, Soul.
Your friend,
Pond
@azurePond Nah. I finalized the estate. Cut the checks and haven't heard from her or her daughter since. Tbh it doesn't really bother me
@mytwistedsoul Oh, I see. Her daughter— as in your stepsister or half sister?
I salute you, oh master of grocery shopping * watches you in awe* ....how on earth do you manage it?!
I agree, cheap stuff irritates the skin—cheap metals especially. And don’t even get me started on polyester… or sequin dresses. Just NO.
Yes, boss—I’ll sleep, stay hydrated.
Do you ever speak to her while you’re out there or just keep quiet and let her get used to you?
@azurePond No just her daughter. I think she was 11 when my father entered their lives.
@mytwistedsoul Hey Soul, it’s me Houdini...ehhh... I mean Azure Pond
I’m like that too . I like to plan ahead and get things done. I’m the type who checks restaurant menus online before making a booking, works out the best time to go, reads reviews, checks G00gle maps, and then finally shows up and orders lol. But groceries? No thanks. I don’t enjoy repetitive, mundane tasks (I’m lazy). A wise person once said “you should outsource the things that drain your energy and time but dont give much productive return.” That wise person was me in case you missed the point which is - I’m lazy.
Anyway.... you’re efficient and a planner, and I really respect that trait in people.
You and I both — we’re staying away from the water.
@azurePond Hey Houdi...I mean Pond! 😊 Just kidding! Are you doing ok?
@mytwistedsoul Houdini here.. I mean Pond, I am not doing ok.. it is manageable.. I can manage it.. I think I might be taking a time out from everything to reset.. Just giving a heads up..
also - I hope you have a good trip! Bon voyage (stay away from water bodies)
@azurePond Hey ❤️ I'm sorry you're not doing ok. If you want to talk we can, if there's anything I can do to help.... No pressure though of course.
Take care of yourself Pond. Be safe, be gentle....rest. Relax. Reset. Deep breaths
Love to you.
Always,
Soul
@mytwistedsoul Hey Soul... how are you? What's up? How are the deers and the eagles and the neighbour with the poison ivy ? Have you been to camping recently? How's health? How's the weather? I've heard that there is a government shutdown in the US.. does that affect the prices of groceries ? does that affect your life in general? ok... that was a lot of questions .. so..... do you have a favourite flower?
.
.
.
We can talk about it sometime.. though I try to lead a healthy lifestyle.. I am not the most healthy person - both physically and mentally. That is why I disappear sometimes. Anxiety, depression, PTSD .. plus weak lungs and irregular heart. stuff like that which hammers down my body. so that's what happened.
PS : Thank you Soul for checking upon me. Thank you for the patience, love and support *hugs * <3
@azurePond Hey Pond! I'm doing ok, keeping busy as usual. The deer seem to be doing ok, they were watching me this morning while I was putting air in some tires. Haven't been camping since the last time but did do some fishing over the weekend. It was nice and relaxing
@mytwistedsoul Hey Soul :)
glad to hear you’ve been doing alright.... sounds like you’ve had a nice balance of work and quiet moments. Fishing sounds really peaceful too....
Nowadays I am soo tired. Not just tired, I feel like my soul is tired. It is not the kind of tiredness you sleep it off or the kind of tiredness that goes away with rest. I dont know.. I just feel like I dont have anything to look forward except the responsibilities I have. And I am not looking forward to my responsibilities.. it is not that I am lazy... it just.. the responsibilities feel draining.. like invisible labour I am doing for structures that I no longer believe in (sounds oddly like Capitalism.. but I was talking about my family.. same difference I guess). *takes a deep breath * This is the first time I have put it into words. I need to start doing something for me.. a job or going back to university. But the thing is my parents keep saying that I dont need to look for a job now and they want me to go to law school. I love law but I do not know if I would make a good lawyer or what I will do with a law degree. I don know if I should waste 3 more years in a university instead of becoming financially independent. I know people have actual problems than this first world existential crisis I have. It is just that I do not have anything that is mine. Everything I have.. I have it on a lease, lot of stuff that dont belong to me which I did not ask for and it all comes with terms and conditions and sacrifices. There is this huge ledger (metaphorical) with all the things I owe to my family. I dont even know what I want anymore except I do not want to be shackled and rot away.
So yeah..this is what is bothering me. As soon as my body is back to normal functioning mode, I will think more about it and do something... plan or research ..aaaahhh... that is the plan right now.
thanks for listening and holding the space for me, Soul<3
Take care!!
Love,
Pond
@azurePond I actually started to take time here and there to fish. Almost like it's one of my ways of self care. I don't keep any of the fish. I release them. Idk maybe it's cruel though.
@mytwistedsoul Hello Soul
Pond
@mytwistedsoul Hello Soul
Pond
@mytwistedsoul Hello Soul
Pond
@azurePond Apologies for posting it 3 times *face palms * It is my slow wifi and I kept pressing the "post" sign
@azurePond In case you need a change of scenery
Thinking of you. Hope you're on the mend 💜
@azurePond Figured I start a new line to reply. I use my phone here more than the laptop and after awhile it shifts the replies so far right I can't read it lol
I hope your ankle and your health starts to feel better so you can get those runs in. I used to run more but I broke my ankle a few years back and it hasn't been the same since.
With the fishing, I came across a vegan once who informed me.... how horrible it is. So every once in awhile it weighs on my mind
With the flowers, there's so many different kinds. There's iris that bloom in the spring and other lilies that bloom throughout summer. The toad lilies bloom at the beginning of fall. For me, they're that spark of color before everything goes grey. It would be really nice if they'd give extra blooms after they're moved to a safer spot
Is it laziness to find the easiest way to do something? Idk. It makes me think of the saying "work smarter, not harder." Not that I mean to sound like I'm minimizing anything. It just feels different (?) when you're doing what's expected of you, especially if it's family expectations. I do understand that tiredness. It's like your soul is weary
It can be hard to know what you want when you're also being pushed and pulled (ever so subtly) in different directions. I think some of that is because deep down we're still looking for parental approval and acceptance?
Tbh this was my first thought, that you should do something with writing! I don't think it sounds self righteous at all! Everything comes with risks, no matter what someone chooses to do. You are very good with words and I think you would be awesome at writing compelling and engaging articles for magazines. From what I read a lot of articles are written by freelance writers. You just need to find your niche? Which sounds easier than it is I'm sure
Mopping a floor is much easier than shoveling manure. How far into taking a year off are you? Would he be open to talking about what you want? Does he understand about regrets and opportunities to try things? That if you didn't try to take writing further you might regret it. I think being a lawyer would be so stressful! Life isn't just about being successful, there has to be some happiness too and if writing brings you happiness I think that's important too. I think this would be something worth fighting for. You can always go back to school if you change your mind, right? It does sound like a very complex dynamic 😬
I'm really glad that my words and questions helped, that they made sense. Thank you for saying that. Sometimes I feel like I'm just writing incoherently, especially when there's a lot of thoughts bouncing around inside my brain 😅
(big hugs back) You are very welcome and Thank you too! Thank you too for the soothing vibes! ❤️
Love, your friend,
Soul
🤭 I have to admit the multiple replies made me laugh. It's happened to me before too! 😁
@mytwistedsoul Hey Soul,
Oh good call...starting a new thread! I don’t use 7cups on my phone so I had no idea. Omg how do u even read those massive paras on your phone? I can’t stand reading emails on it... it gives me a headache.
@azurePond It's usually not too bad if things are broken up into paragraphs.