lily and miljan
Hi sorry i wasn't on cups for a long time i didn't expect anyone to notice i wasnt here anymore.. i haven't been great i honestly gave up on life entirely im drinking a lot and I don't really know what will happen to me, doesn't matter much. Hru tho? @Mahd12 i really missed you
@Miljan
i missed you too pal, ive been isolated so long
i hope you fare better, if youd like we can have a longer discussion
i just want you to be well, it's all i want
@Mahd12
hows our other adult side friends miljan?
like jar yuki or anyone else
i miss aiko and random and dime and the others.
@Miljan
you okay pal?
just checking in <3
Sorry i didn't respond sooner, idk really, it just doesnt matter to me anymore if i get worse im just tired. Nothing really changed i still tell myself every week that ill do it the next and then i dont so i tell myself next week. I know i really need someone to help me but idk. I haven't talked to anyone in a while, I cant remember if I told you that from all i know yuki committed in July im pretty sure, i haven't talked to jar or sunny or anyone. I thought it would be better to just stop worrying everyone if im okay so i stopped using cups. @Mahd12 sorry for such a long message
@Miljan
i dont mind the long message
did yuki really? i hope she didnt, i hope shes okay
ill always be here on 7cups if you need me btw, if you need help im here <3
please dont do it : ( [if 'it' is what i think it is]
just remember ill always love you twin
anything new i should know about friend?
@Mahd12
you want me to mention jar and sunny as well? its up to you of course
Idk.. maybe its just best if you all forget me
@Miljan
id never forget you bro
what makes you say that
@Mahd12 i hope you are okay and everything is good.
@Mahd12 i change my mind can i actually talk to you about something? Please
@Miljan ofc bro
here to listen twin
ill respond when i can
@mahd12 i really dont know what to do anymore i promised to someone i wouldn't commit and now i feel guilty. I just want all of this to end im sick of living this pathetic life i hate it so much there aren't words that i can use to explain the hatred I feel towards myself and my life. The worst part is that i ruined my life and this is all my fault. Literally all i do is suffer in school then suffer alone and then drink most of the time, so how can someone say i deserve to live? I hurt everyone i know many times and now idk.. i had plans to make some bad stuff happen to me because im too weak to just commit normally. I'm so sorry i dont know how much this makes sense im losing my mind i dont know whats going on anymore im sorry
@Miljan
please dont do those bad things bro, i understand if life is absolutely terrible trust me
that 'weakness' you are talking about is a strength, wanting to keep yourself alive is a great thing and dont listen to any lies that your head tells you, you are stronger than those lies man
also please do remember im just a guy on 7cups, in this case i really think you should go out of your way to a professional or crisis(i know youve prob heard this a lot, im sorry, but i dont want to say things that could hurt you <3)
only if youd like to, may i know how it is your fault this all happened? no one deserves this much pain in their life, especially not a good person like you
I dont want to live like this anymore, it isnt some strength or will to stay alive im simply too much of a coward to make a decision. And i know i know i should get help and im not okay but i really cant do that and i dont think i want to to be honest. Also thank you so much for listening to me it really means a lot to me and sorry if its bothering you i try my hardest not to be a problem to everyone but i somehow always end up being one. I dont know how to explain how exhausted i am i just want to stop feeling so terrible, i know i could get better if I actually tried and asked for help but thats all too hard and it will take long. It just wouldn't be worth it yk, to go through all that trouble and who knows what *** just to be able to live a mediocre life, maybe im not right in the head but isnt it the right decision just to give up now? I don't know anymore im angry at myself and im frustrated. It would all be well if I did it like i planned on my birthday but that was in June.. im sorry i have too many dumb things to say and im just sorry idk i feel sorry for you because you know me. I'm sorry im drunk i dont know what to say @Mahd12
@Miljan
pal trust me getting help works
i believed the same, until i actually got help
life is now better
yes it takes work, but all things do. and its kind of like homework--spend some time working and youll do very well, and it isnt as hard it appears to be.
now dont get me wrong itll be difficult at times, and its okay to stumble
but it does get better if you dont give up
bro please pleaaaseee take that step and get help, it will pay off trust me
also im very happy to listen to you dont worry about that
I know its possible that get better but that would include my parents knowing im not doing well and i really dont want that. I don't even wanna get better, i just dont. Im fine with my life ending like this, its way better than being put in a mental hospital. In the end its what i deserve to be honest @Mahd12
@Miljan
lad
matey
they wont put you in a mental hospital
theyll very very likely just give you a plan to follow and something to keep track off
please just tell your parents
please for yourself and for me : (
Im sorry but you know i cant @mahd12 i really just cant, i dont want to. It's better to end like this
@Miljanyes you can bro
im not letting you just give up like this
you know it can get better
and im sure you know that 'its better like this' is a lie
you can change and heal
just let it happen man
please bro
im not gonna just quit on you like that
@Miljan
miljan where r u
im concerned
Im sorry i didn't know what to say, im tired, I have no will to continue like this its pointless. You cant convince me to tell someone im too stubborn, my life shouldn't mean anything to you or anyone else here i dont understand why do you care.. how can I be important enough to you that you check up on me and worry about me. Its stupid youre wasting your time @mahd12
@Miljan
buddy just give it a shot, tell someone, and if that doesnt work tell someone else, literally you wouldnt lose anything, youd just get someone to help you
also i care about you a lot for a reason because i love you man, you are very nice and kind bruh, and this isnt a waste of my time
please dont keep telling yourself 'im too stubborn' or 'i have no will', the brain eats what is given to it yknow
just give it a shot please
help would do wonders!
Im sorry but you know i cant @mahd12 i really just cant, i dont want to. It's better to end like this
@Mahd12 Bless your heart.
@affectionateShade7072
thank you, but please can me and miljan keep this conversation private?
wed prefer that, and wed greatly appreciate if you understand <3