looking for pen pal
heyy, im looking for a friend to chat:)
im 24f from Germany, currently a bit stuck in life and a bit lonely.
I love caring for my indoor plants, and listening to music (mostly indie/hiphop/pop), im starting to do yoga and try to go jogging form time to time.
feel free to reach out if you wanna chat
@raymond1203 startin a fresh thread... btw solved the keyboard issue haha it works again:)
*** yeah dude fixing the keyboard counts as a win! good work
@raymond1203 yeah im glad it works again, i should get a laptop but they are expensive.... i think someday ill buy a used one, but for now the tablet wrks just fine. Well yes i finished tutoring, but its alredy evening here too, he still have some time difference:)
that’s great you were able to work that tutoring stuff out. all in all was it a good day today? yes it’s still early here lol around 1pm. i still feel so tired. i might put off the decorations until my next day off.
i actually need to get a keyboard and mouse for my new tv lol that’s weird to me but i just got a prompt to attach a keyboard and mouse to access some things.
this is def the time of year to make electronics purchases like that. today is cyber monday lol it’s black friday but online. supposed to be crazy good sales but i dont see anything that great. everything is super expensive now. i went to the pharmacy for shampoo/conditioner/body lotion/face lotion/hand lotion and i spent like $75. i try not to worry about the price of things. either i get it or i dont. it doesn’t help me to worry about that kinda stuff. i used to worry A LOT lol but it is soooo draining. i’m very lucky that i don’t have to pay attention to it thaaaat much lol but still those are really high prices.
@raymond1203 wow thats really expensive, i think if id buy the cheap stuff of all that i could get away with like 10 maybe 15 €... but only with the cheap options lol. its weird to need a keyboard for a tv, never seen that haha. but it can be practical sometimes, i find typing on a tv annoying when serching something on netflix or something. my day was fine, just gettin ready for today now:) hope you have an okay day at work today
heyyy how ya feeling today? i feel asleep too too early lol but waking up surrounded by the kittens has been amazing lol i’m back to work today 😭😭😭 pto always goes by too fast lol
is today a busy day for you??
@raymond1203 heyy not its actually not a buisy day at all today.
Falling asleep early is great i think. you get lots of sleep and (hopefully) have no trouble waking up early (i really hate that), normally i cant get asleep really early, even if i have to get up early. and waking up with kittens sounds obviously like the best thing ever:) just fineshed a little run. nothing special really, but i didnt go for a while so im glad i did it. also i think i discovered new music: metal. never heard that much before lol but i needed motivating music. last time i was jogging it went really bad, i had no motivation and was frustrated, so i asked a friend that likes metal litteraly for music reccomendations that scream at you agressively hahahah. its good music tho lol.
hahaha yeah metal is awesome. occasionally i’ll throw some old metal songs on and yeah it’ll make ya feel like you can run threw a wall hahaha lately ive been listening to mostly rap. for the longest time i could not get into new music but recently its been my favorite lol
i def went to sleep too early lol i usually have a good routine but today im a little off.
spade found an old toy of lana’s. it’s like a colorful furry little mouse toy and duuuuude spade might be a psycho haha he’s been viciously attacking this thing since last night. i still hear him right now lol
at work now. on my break. it’s actually nice being back. i missed a couple people. plus too much time off and i overthink things and make myself depressed. it’s good to stay busy. i hope you had a great day 🙂
heyyy friend! i’m walking home from work and wanted to say hi and i hope ya had a good day
🙂
@raymond1203 heyy sorry i didnt answer sooner, had an okay day yesterday, sounds like you had a good day too (hope so) at work being productive! its true what you say you gotta stay active working or something. i think cuase im not really doing that my manteal health went down a bit in general, so its true... but ill get better eventually. i have the wohle afternoon with tutoring again, hows your day? i guess youre working?
i usually work 1-10pm and it’s 930am now so my day hasn’t rly started lol i am off tomorrow tho so i def need to at least pull out the decorations from the garage
how are you feeling today?
NOW my day is beginning lol i just woke up and put on music and gave the kittens a couple treats. spade let me pick him up and hold him like a baby 🥰🥰🥰
i def miss working early mornings. waking up before the sun and getting stuff done made me feel so productive. but i found a new routine and it’s working for me.
i hope you had a great day today
what happened yesterday…are you feeling ok?
✌️😎
@raymond1203 heyy nothing really happened, sorry if i made it sound like it just an average day lol. im okay, had tutoring which was good.
I hate getting up early lol. like really hate. i get that mornings are nice and all and its nice to be productive early but i just cant get up lol. but good for you lol. How are you today? working fom 1-10 is pretty late isnt it?
btw spotify wrapped is out have you seen ? whats you top song?
i use apple music. i did see my recap lol we were all just laughing at work about it. my friend noelle her whole top ten is kanye west lol i have a lot of juice wrld which is very very funny bc i started listening to him two months ago lol
hbu…any artists i might know??
1-10 is a little late but it’s a busy time of year so we need the help and i also need the money lol
not a morning person hahaha i nvr was either. for a while i worked overnights 10pm-7am. then my schedule got shifted to mornings and that was so hard at first but i find a routine i can do everyday and it really helped. compared to that shift, this shift is super easy.
how are you feeling today?
i rly enjoy talking to you. you’re very cool 🙂
heyyy. i just got home from work. i am off tomorrow 💪😎 lol
i want to start decorating tomorrow but let’s see if i will be lazy instead haha overall my day was good. nothing worth complaing about lol pretty chill day
hbu how’s your day going? got anything planned?
@raymond1203 hey i just got ready for the day. i dont thnki youd know anyone of my top artists/ songs, giant rooks is my top artist, i reccomended them to you before but they are not THAT famous expecially outside germany (although thy tour worldwide)
chill day sounded good, so youre gonna decorate today huh? i think youll be glad if you get it over haha. my brothers birthday is at this weekend, hes preparing for his party. I have to bake a cake for him and have to decide (and mybe even start baking) today, but still have no idea on what to do lol. we bake eachother a cake everytime and we both are relatively good bakers so is has to be something nice... ahhh but i dont now i alwys have troble dciding what to do. gonna go to pinterest and gest some inspo now
omg i am so indecisive with a lot of things. that is so cute that you and your brother had a tradition like that. i have been baking a lot this year. i’m not very good at it. i’m a basic bi.tch 😂 just stuff out of a box lol it started as something to do to occupy my free time and my mind bc i overthink with too much free time. it’s been fun 🙂
what are some cake ideas you have?
do you want to make his favorite cake…or try something new and different?? i’m just trying to offer questions that might help with deciding. i hope im not being too intrusive or anything.
wow you have a good point. i will feel better when the house is decorated. i honestly did not think of that lol
@raymond1203 wow youre early. Baking is very good to keep yourselve occupied! ecen if its just simle stuff. We usually try to do something different every time and i dont think he really has a fevorite cake. Buttttt... i already have decided what im gonna do lol, was fast this time, thanks to pinterest. im gonna do a red velvet cake, wanted do try it for some time, but i thought it was a little ramdom until i saw a recepie for like cookies with meringue(?) that look like a chritsmas hat. so its like a chrismas-hat themed cake haha i dont know if its the same in the us but tomorrow is st. nicholas day and the christmas hat is typical for him so it fits good. gonna head to the supermarket soon to get the ingedients soon
omg that sounds like a perfect idea. red velvet cake is good. i love the idea of the christmas hat. id be curious to see your ingredients…the ingredients here are mostly made in a laboratory hahaha
december 24th is Christmas eve and that’s when everything kinda starts. usually a couple parties. then dec 25th is christmas day and it usually starts waaaay too early with the little kids haha we don’t rly do christmas hat but it would be weird if santa did not have a hat haha we usually make a big family breakfast. i’ll be home by the afternoon lol these kids are exhausting haha
i might seriously steal your red velvet ideal hahaha i’m sorry bud it’s a great idea lol maybe i’ll do cupcakes that look like santa idk but i really really like that idea
maybe ill do some red velvet santa’s and some vanilla snowmen cupcakes. i haven’t done cupcakes yet and i just got new pans lol
@raymond1203 omg i loveeee the idea of the cupcakes, thats honestly even better then a cake as a christmas hat.the christmas days are similar here but we have st. nicolas as a smaller day extra. its mostly just for little kids. the ingredients are similar to the ones for a normal cake, aslmst never use the pre made cake mixes so just flour, sugar, butter, eggs, vanilla, baking powder etc... plus food dye for the red velvet now ofc. hard to find good food dye honestly, i need a lot of read and had to buy two packages of 4 colours nor which are relatively expensive but wwhaterver. i just have 6 tubes of food coloring which im prorbably never gonna use. never had red velvet cake so far so i hope it turns out good:)
Tomorrow my brother is at vacational school im gonna bake it then, but i have only time till afternonn cause i planned part 2 of a harry potter marathon with two friends haha
hp marathon with friends is a reallly fun time. it’s been a few years since i watched any but i used to loooove hp movies around xmas time lol your cake sounds way better than my fake box bullc.rap lol
i am so tired today 😭 lol
hows ur day going??
@raymond1203 haha but thats just normal cake? dont tell me people dont bake from scratch... its goin okay, im kinda tired too so welcome to the club lol. done any decorations yet? ;) how are the kittens btw?
hahaha yea lots of people bake from scratch. i’m just still very new to baking. i’d def like to try it sometime tho. i’m just a bit clueless lolol
im fr about to try and go back to sleep bc am soOoOo tired today
omg the kittens are doing soOoOo great!! spade let me pick him up like a baby lol so cute lol farley finally let me pet him and he is literally the softest thing ive ever felt. thank you for asking about them. that’s really really nice of you 🙂
what hp movie are yous going to watch next
@raymond1203 we watched the first 3 at another evening so i think we are at no 4.
Go take a nap maybe, heard a 30 min nap can help wonders. U should try baking just a simple cake from scratch its really not difficult. i swear. also aking is kind of easy cause if you got a good recepie, you litterally just do what they tell u and itll turn out great! its not like cooking where you have to see yourself and make some adjustments etc., just do waht ur told and its good
ok i’m up for real now lol gonna get a shower and take care of the kitties. if it’s not raining i’ll pull out decos and start going threw it all
watching multiple movies in a night with friends is so fun. btw those are very different movies lol in the first couple hp movies they were kids but after cedrick dies that whole franchise gets super dark lol
i will def try baking from scratch. i’m a little nervous but i def wanna try
@raymond1203 that sounds like some dedication do go decorate, nicee! yeah ive seen the movies one time before a few years ago but not recently. im sure the cake will turn out perfectly:) we just bought concert tickets as a gift for my dad. the thing is the concert is in like 2 weeks, so even before he would normally get the gift lolll. ik its a bit weird but i think he will like it so i still hope its a good idea. also its something all 4 of us wold do togheter, which we dont do often. im a little excited. ilove giving gifts IF i know its a good one that fits to the person and is original, practical whatever. if i dont have a good idea (which is often the case..) i dont like it that much
oh i’m a biiiiig gift giver lol christmas is my jam hahaha i love that gift for your dad. something you’re all doing together is amazing. it’s fine to give it early. we gave my nieces their big gift already. we all chipped in and got them this reallllly nice swingset. it’s like what you would see at a park or playground. it’s huge! but i don’t like having no gifts to give on xmas so ill still order some more stuff lol
oh u never seen HP like that? aw thats amazing! i saw them a bunch and read the books growing up. it’s been a long time since i got into it. i don’t know much about these new movies.
@raymond1203 that sounds great! no i never read the books or something and for a long time i ony seen the first movie i dont even know why cause i liked it. but im excited for the rest of the movies, i cant rememebr too much of it
its been a long time since i watched but i used to know a lot of the story. i hope ya like it. they are really great movies. the actor that plays Harry has done some really weird movies since hp ended lol
i just finished eating my last piece of cornbread lol that was my first attempt but bc i used new pans it cooked really well
now im just doing a little cleaning, bonding with the kitties lol and looking for a new video game (very indecisive with stuff like this)
@raymond1203 yayy bonding with the kittens:) i have no idea what cornbread is... is it actually brad? ik what condags are lol
it’s corn meal which is made from corn but is more of a dried grain. you mix it up with some egg butter or honey or some people use jalapeño. it’s more popular in the south. i’m in the north. it’s usually a side with a meal like instead of a dinner roll. i’ve never made it before and it was cheap so i figured i’d try it out. it’s ok. verrrry dry lol but i didn’t hate it lol
i am making soooo much progress with these kittens. omg i needed this so much. for sooo long i was soooo sad and then i was sooo angry. but the second i saw them baby kittens they were so cute that i felt like i couldn’t be mad at anything. and that helped give me perspective. realizing i’ve been a jerk to some people and i need to be better. and the best way to be better is to be fun instead of being a dramatic trauma dumper lol
the routine involved with caring for two kittens has really helped keep me busy in a very good way. too much time doing nothing rots my brain and ruins my mood.
and after losing both of my pets and my ex, i began to feel like a big loser. my confidence was so low it didn’t even exist 😔 it’s still something i need to continue to work on. making progress with these kittens has helped so much. i feel like every little step is a victory.
on my lunch break. just wanted to pop in and say hi. hope you had a nice day 🙂
Hey, im sorry i didnt write yesterday i was buisy with banking first half of the day and then at my friends watching Harry potter. Im soumetimes a Bad weiter, sometimes i dint have time or just dont feel like chatting, i hope you dont take it Personal that i sometimes take a bit länger to reply
How you describe ypur progress really Sounds amazing! You can be proud of yourself for bettering yourself, not everybody hast the strengh to damit things they need to work on and actually get better. It sounds like you had some rough patches but still kept going, thats Strong.
I hope youre doing well, are you working today? Any Plans for the Weekend?
haha no i def don’t mind if you take time to respond haha promise i wont take it personal. i totally understand what it’s like to just not feel like doing it. you are allll good. so what are you
i’m working today then tomorrow then i’m off monday. it’s a weird schedule. prob bc of the holidays being busy.
kittens are doing great. farley is all about getting pet now. he never liked getting touched but now we are best friends haha
Awww tahts great that parley lets you pet it now😍 oh so you have to work the whole weekend?
Ive been at the first christmas market thus year yesterday, with a friend:) drank some mulled wine, had good food was nice. I have a liiiiitle bit of a headache now from the wink (the sugar in it makes it worse) but i can relax today so all good:) how are you?
wine hangovers are so much worse than beer hangovers lol sounds like you had a great time. it all sounds really nice. yes i work all weekend and it’s soooo busy. i finally got some decorating done. i still have a lot to do. i didn’t put the tree up yet but i will soon
do you have a busy week this week
i am finished work and i have off tomorrow. work was busy but it all went well. but for some reason idk i feel pretty bad. i feel alone and unloved. i do not think it is truth. but i do feel like that 😔
@raymond1203 so sorry you feel that way:( i get it, i sometimes get that feeling out of nowhere it just happens. sometimes we can handle it well and sometimes its harder... its good that you can see yourself that its not true, you are a great person with a good heard and have a nice family from what ive heard. But we cant just turn our brian off when the feeling comes. sorry i couldnt repsond earlier, i hope you found a way to ope with it and hopefully you feel better today🫂
to your last massage, yeah wine hangover are bad, especially with all the sugar in mulled wine, but i havent had too much so it was okayy. no i sont really have a buisy week. Nice that you have some time off now mybe to do some self care:)
thank you so much for your kind words and support. that rly helps. i just woke up for my day off and the electricity is out in my whole neighborhood 😭 😭 so idk what im gonna do with my day.
how’s your day
Well its okay, i planned on going for al little run, but now realized its Winter and its already dark lol, so maybe ill go tomorrow haha.
Oh godd no electricity at all is bad, hope its just a little mistake auf fixed fast....
i would walk to a store but i don’t wanna get there and the power be off there also lol ill just find stuff around the house. so corny lol
yesterday felt almost like spring weather. it’s colder today but omg yesterday was a perfect day for a run here
i think a tree went down on some power lines. they fixed it in a few hours. we’re all good now. honestly today i was very lazy. it’s cold and wet outside. and i’m tired from working all weekend. plus i am not feeling great about myself (sometimes i feel alone). so today i kinda did nothing 😕 im back to work tomorrow so ill be more productive then.
how was your day?? i hope it was good 🙂
@raymond1203 glad you have power back. honestly i often need a day for myself to recharge too so compleately valid. and if youre tired im often mentally tired too. i often feel like this too but try to push it aside. Iwoke up so sleepy today, only now really waking up kinda, and its almost 11 am. i dont know why i have THAT much trouble motivating myself.... well ill try to do SOMETHING producitve now... but like doing anything is hard for me to start (mabe cause im so used to being lazy/unmotivated?) i really dont know but honestly i could do better and i should. so i guess i have to start somewhere... hope youll have an okay day at work!
i feel the same way. it’s so hard for me to start things. once i do it i am fine but starting can be a big struggle for me. i am walking home from work now. i have off tomorrow but then i work the next 5 days straight. i def need to rest tomorrow but i rly dont want to waste the day and do nothing. i feel like i did that on my last day off. honestly my friend at work is having problems bc her mom is very sick so i might pick up extra hours to help.
just finished a really hard shift at work. a lot of people called out and i was stuck doing everything alone tonight. idk maybe IM just tired and stressed but ive been feeling like no matter how hard i work no matter how had i try, its only a matter of time until i unknowingly do something that gets me fired. i’m hoping some food and some rest gets me back to normal but rn i feel rly down
how was ur week? anything planned for the weekend??
@raymond1203 hey im sorry its that hard for you... that must be exhausting. Do you think there is actually any risk that could get you fired? like someone told you youre not good enough? or is it "just" in your head? if thats so maybe try to remind yourself that you have no reason to think like that and its an irrational thought. i knok that doesnt solve this but maybe it can feel a little bit better? reassuring yourselff you are doing what you can, and that is enough. Honestly i often feel like im not good enough and ithink i could feel the same in your place. but that doesnt meant the fear is rational. idk if that makes sense. i hope you can relax somehow between your shifts, if you dont feel good dont plan too much and maybe just do the bare minimum and some salfcare.
Im okayyy i dont have too much plans, on sunday im visiting a friend i studied with and havent seen in a long time. she is finished and has a job and im still here lost... but she waas a really good friend so im still excited. other then that ill see what im gonna do, maybe visit a christmas market with my mum, she wanted to go to one so yeah..
thank you so much. that was really great advice. that was a lot of help. you’re better than some of the listeners i had. for real thank you 🙏 🙂
so prob 90% of my worries are just in my head. i need to get past it. worrying i’m going to ruin something usually ends up with me ruining it lol
but there is one potential problem. the corp boss wants to write me up for something but my direct manager is fighting back and assuring me i am safe. but i dont feel safe. i should be more happy about my manager fighting for me.
im def not taking good care of myself. i have skipped a lot of meals and im eating too much sugar and drinking too much caffeine. i think thats a big part of my mood problems but my depression makes it hard for me to feed myself properly
hope you have fun this weekend. seeing an old friend is super fun.
little update lol i ate some pizza and omg i feel much better 😁😁 i need to start taking my diet seriously. it’s the first thing i bail on when i start to feel stressed or depressed. and it really does put me in a better mood.
@raymond1203 yayy you immediadeld did somethin so you feel better, pizza is always good haha. glad i could help a little, i van imagine its hard if someone is against you. but If the other person is fighting for yout, that gotta mean something, you must be good at your job or he wouldnt do that. Nice that he has your back. yeah its really important to take care of yourself, but i know its exhausting sometimes. when i had a long day i often just lay in bed the rest of the time watching tk toks eventhough i know thats not the best way to relax... and eating prperly is so imotatnt too. good thing i really like food lol so i dont have that much problems with it. How are you today?
ive been to a really nice christmas market with my mum yesterday. it was at a farm with a small forest and there were so many little shops i huts, christmastrees and lights EVERYWHERE it was really beautiful had some good food too:)
christmas market sounds so amazing and beautiful. thank you for your support and encouragement. it helps a lot. i made myself eat oatmeal this morning and i am feeling better. every time i catch myself angry i will ask myself do i need to eat. walking into work now. hoping tonight is better then last night. how are you feeling today
heyyy hope you had a good weekend. i’ve been really doing good with eating and i am feeling noticeably different. things at work have been busy but really good. lately things at work have been better than ever. i feel like i am on a really good path right now and it’s important i stay on it. so i just need to keep taking care of myself keep making improvements 🙂
how was ur weekend???
@raymond1203 hey, sorry ihavent been writing lately. its so good to hear you are doing betterwith eating and all. hope you still are, i know it can be hard to be constistant at times. yesterday was the concert and it was nice. i have to tay i have been to better ones, but i mean we were sitting, not standing in the middle of the crowd (where the vibe is the best) and i dont listen to the bands music too much, but nonetheless it was actually good. and i think my parents really enjoyed it which is great. alsoo i have all my christmas presents now lol.( a little late ik, but early enough) and even packed all of them up. They are not a lot, but a few small things. Whats up at yours? how are you doing, hows the kittens?
aww that all sounds so amazing. it’s prob soooo beautiful there also. i have made amazing progress with the kittens. even the scared one is all over me now lol we’re cuddle buddies hahaha
i had the day off yesterday i tried to stay busy but i was pretty sad. i felt very lonely. im going back to work today. i actually feel better mentally when i work. def not everyday and def not all the time. but there are nice people i like at work and they really help me a lot.
next week i used pto and im off like the whole week. do you have plans for xmas day
i had to take today off. i am not feeling well. my mind was racing all night and i could not sleep at all. my mind is in such a negative place. i am like spinning out bc of work. i feel very paranoid. and i don’t think they think anything too negative about me…i am very well liked in there and i work very hard…but even still, not knowing what’s being said about me is triggering me really bad. my reaction is to flip out and be angry but i need to focus and find a way to community my issue to someone so they can set me straight. i am also very hurt that i dont have any real friends. i guess the friends i thought i had from work are just nice coworkers. i have def been caring too much. all i really needed today was someone to reach out to me. just a text asking if im ok. i do that when something is wrong with them.
im thinking about not going to christmas morning this year. i just wanna skip all that stuff and get it behind me.
maybe this is just my bipolar. i had a dr diagnosed me in 2014…i guess it really is for life. i just feel completely horrible for kinda no reason. everything was good
@raymond1203 hey.... merry christmas first of all. hope you can have a nice celebration with your family.
Im so sorry for what you wrote and that you felt like that and i hope youre feeling at least a bit better by now. somtimes feeling bad just comes out of nowhere and without any reason. But you sould like you reflected a lot on yourself and are very aware of the circumstances. ypu know some reasons like your bipolar that can make you feel like that. also its anxiety and that is simply not rational. I think aktiveliy remindng yourselve about that and that your cowerkers for example do like you can help a lot, just like you did in your message. so probs to you for handling the bad emotions in a kinda good way... hope you still got in a little bit of a christmasy mood.
did yall celebrate yesterday already? ik its christmas eve and the us celebrates on the 25th, but do you do something on the 24th too? in germany we celabrate on the 24 th with the gifts and nice dinner.
24th is christmas eve and we’ll do a lot of partying and gift giving. the 25th xmas morning is more for the children. we all wake up super early to see them open gifts. it was soooo cute. now it’s all done and over and i am relaxing at home. how are you. i am feeling alllllot better
hope you had a wonderful holiday. mine is just about over. it was a beautiful day with the family. my nieces are the cutest and sweetest most thoughtful little girls. i think they got me sick tho lol i guess that’s the price of cuteness haha worth it
i was supposed to have a hair appointment but that got canceled and since im feeling sick im just gonna relax, play some new playstation games, watch some old movies (rn im watching The Godfather 🙂🙂🙂) i love the old mobster movies lol
do you have plans for new years? i’m not doing anything but it’s actually a big deal in my city. they do a huge parade lol it’s a mess of drunk loud mouths fighting and crying 🤣🤣🤣
it’s called the ✨✨✨ Mummers Parade ✨✨✨
some guys spend their entire year working on this thing. it’s kinda psychotic lol but it was very fun as a kid
plz look it up hahaha 🤣 🤣🤣
im curious what you think as a total outsider to this lol growing up this was dead serious stuff for very strong men lol its funny