Chat with @P00K1E and @FaithfulScout
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@P00K1E
Hello Jas - I came across this thread, “Feeling Good Today, But Need Some Honest Support”, started by t*ona033 …
@P00K1E
… and I was fascinated by the wide range of responses it generated: people offering to support the original poster, people seeking support themselves, and others offering support to members who are not the original poster.
I noticed your exchange and admired your efforts to connect with the original poster …
@P00K1E
… I then viewed your profile (P00K1E) and saw your post asking how to make friends. This is a really relevant topic for me as I am sorting through all of my relationships (online and irl).
I thought we could have an interesting conversation on the topic … and maybe become friends along the way?
Tom
@FaithfulScout
Hi Tom! Thank you for the recognition. I would love to chat with you! Here's my listener link https://www.7cups.com/114493440
My listener name is SerenityGuardian
- Jas
@P00K1E
Cool, thanks!
I've never used that section on 7cups. Is it like chatting in real-time? It's not an actual voice-to-voice call, correct?
If okay with you, I would like to stay with our Pen Pal thread. Is that okay?
On the topic of friendship ... I just received a text from a friend who I have not communicated with in over a year. We are not close friends, plus he moved to a different country. Now he is back, and he contacted me last week.
I have been busy and did not respond to him, yet. I will text him when I send this message to you.
How is life going for you?
@FaithfulScout
Yes, it's real time chatting and not voice chatting.
It is okay with me to keep communicating on this thread ☺️
That is good, I am guessing he wants to reconnect?
My life has been good. I too am chatting with an old friend, well two but I still don't know how I feel about it. Your side?
@P00K1E
Hi Jas-Do you mean that you don’t know how you feel about both of them or just one of them? What is the question or concern that you are asking yourself regarding the situation?
On my side, nothing has happened yet. The last time I heard from my friend (May 2024), he told me he had to leave the country where he was living in order to get treatment for advanced leukemia. I was going through a crisis also, and I can’t remember if I responded to him. I feel very sad for what he is going through, and I hope we can communicate ... but we aren’t close, and I don’t think I will text back if he does not respond.
I have another friend, who is very close, like a brother to me. We have known each other since we were 16 (and now we are both 54). He has been living in Thailand for the past 10 years, and he came for a visit this spring and stayed with me and my partner for a few months. He is planning on coming back at the end of this month, and he has asked if he can stay with us again.
I am sad to tell him he cannot. He emailed me this week with his plans and the request. I will email him back tomorrow. It is going to be a difficult email to write.
Thank you for this space to share what is happening with my circumstances. And I would be happy to offer the same to you as you process your situation 🙂
@FaithfulScout
Hi Tom - Sorry about my silence, I have been dealing with some things. Today has been especially hard for me. It's my birthday but my partner and I have been fighting all day, but it's okay. I am sick too, yay.
I don't know how I feel about both. I used to be bff's with both but they both betrayed me and now they wanna be back in my life. I did forgive them but I am not sure if I can let my guard down around them. I am talking to them but I don't know what to do, I mean if I wanna continue with the friendship or not.
I am sorry to hear about your friend having leukaemia, I hope he gets well soon. I will keep him in my prayers. I would suggest you hear him out, if he ever responds.
That is a tough situation to be in, especially if the friendship has been going on for so long. I am late to this but I do hope he understood your reasoning.
Other than that, what's new with you?
@P00K1E
Hi Jas,
No problem about the timing! Before email, children (and adults too, I guess) would converse with each other through paper letters. I think that’s where the name Pen Pals come from. That was before my time, but I always thought it was a nice idea compared to the fast pacing and information overload of today’s media landscape.
Anyway, I’m very happy to receive your response!
Happy belated birthday 🥳
I’m sorry you have had to deal with conflict and illness on your birthday 😢
I heard from both friends, and they were positive in their responses! My friend with leukemia is fairly stable and back in the United States (in Massachusetts where we are both living). We had a very nice conversation, although he is going through a stressful situation because he needs to pack up all his things and find a new place to live at the end of October.
My longtime friend in Thailand was very understanding about my living situation, with my partner Laura.
Other than these 2 relationships, I am doing my best to try and keep in contact with friends and family in general. I was diagnosed with cancer in early 2024 (stage 4) and my condition has been stable until a few months ago. With my latest change in treatment, a lot of people are concerned … which is very caring, but to tell people over and over again the same thing can be tiring for both Laura and me. So, with the help of my therapist and Laura, we all came up with a newsletter format to inform everyone of my condition.
I will start my new treatment of chemotherapy, tomorrow, and hopefully the side-effects will not be too bad.
I’m sorry your friends betrayed your trust. How long have you been friends and how often to you see them? What was the betrayal about (if you don’t mind my asking). I would like offer perspective and help if I can.
Thanks again for writing back, and I hope things have settled down between you and your boyfriend.
Talk soon!
@FaithfulScout
Hi Tom
Thank you 🤗 and it is okay, these things happen.
I am glad to hear that their responses were positive! It's good that your friend is doing fairly well and I do hope he finds a place where he can live. The economy is bad, but God will provide 😇
It is good that your long-time friend understood your situation, do try and help him get a place where he can crash at.
I want to say I am sorry to hear that you have cancer, but I am sure you have heard that one too many times. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers. And yes, repeating yourself over and over can be tiring so that was a good idea. All the best on this journey and I wish you a speedy recovery 🥺
I too hope that the new treatment doesn't have too bad side effects. But you will do great and recover either way.
I have known one for about 4-5 years and the other 2-3 years. We don't see each other very often but both are coming to our hometown end of the month, and both want to hang out with me. The betrayal was messy. Things like jealousy, relationships, distance, trust and honesty and so were involved. (I would like to discuss this in private if you don't mind)
Things are good between my partner and I although he has not yet apologized for his part but that is okay I guess.
Our chats have been really nice and I'd like to keep them going!
Thank you for being an online friend 😊
@P00K1E
Thanks for your encouraging words toward my friends and for my cancer treatments! I hope you are not feeling too sick anymore 🥺
Days 1 and 2 are done and one more to go for my first round of treatments. So far, it is not too bad, I just needed a lot of rest after being at the hospital for about 5 hours with a 3-hour round trip travel time. My visit today and tomorrow will be shorter. (I should read the packet they gave to me that describes the whole process, including information about side-effects and how to treat them).
No worries about keeping your friend-situation private. I totally understand and appreciate what you have shared with me already 🙏
It will be an interesting development with the friend I mentioned, who I have known a shorter time, Andrew. He asked to talk again yesterday (which I did), and then before our conversation ended, he asked if I had some time this weekend. He was very polite and there was no pressure, but now I remember why I think we drifted apart.
I'm an introvert and he's an extrovert.
With my longtime friend, Kieth, he also wanted more contact last year, especially when I was diagnosed. Because of the time difference, most of the communication was by email. For me that was still a bit much. I proposed a weekly video call: for the same time, same day every week. That worked very well!
So we will see what happens with Andrew.
I have also enjoyed our chats.
Thanks as well, for being an online friend ☺️
Have a great weekend!
@P00K1E
Hi Jas - Sorry for being absent. October was very busy and November was a rough month for me.
How has life been?
Tom
