For @Macylou82 & me *No lurking or upvoting plz*
@bloom006Shit i forgot to add commenting
@bloom006thats not allowed too
@bloom006 Aww thx
@Macylou82 I'll scream at u here if u dont eat
@bloom006 Scream away
@Macylou82 aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa eaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat
@Macylou82 so, did u eat today?
@bloom006 Lol no its only 9:30am
@Macylou82 well, time for breakfast, dont u think?
@bloom006 Nah, Maybe dinner I dunno
@Macylou82 u skipped that too?
@bloom006 No I ate dinner, actually 1 1/2 of dinner yesterday, but maybe I will just eat dinner today
@Macylou82 My moms gone so its not like im being forced to eat rn like usual
@Macylou82thats good
@bloom006 That im not eating bc im not forced to? I wouldn't call that good lol
@Macylou82 Oh wait bc I ate dinner last night lol my brain is dead rn sorry
@Macylou82no its okay dont be sorry
@Macylou82no that u at least ate smth and will eat tonight
@bloom006 No promises that im eating tonight, maybe I'll lie and say I ate earlier and im full, prob not but maybe.
@Macylou82I'll pray that u fall in love with food and eat like crazy
@bloom006like me actually
@bloom006 I wish, I used to love food bro it makes me sad that I struggle just to eat even a lil nowadays
@Macylou82did anything in particular happen that made u stop liking food?
@bloom006 Not really, and I love food I just cannot eat im never hungry anymore, i think I might be anorexic but I don't have all the signs its confusing.
@Macylou82how exactly do u feel when you're told to eat?
@bloom006 I feel guilty bc thats a basic human feature to eat, then that makes me depressed and its a spiral. Im getting pretty good at forcing down 1-2 meals a day but Ik im gaining weight and that again just makes me more depressed. I *** hate it and just wanna be normal, not broken
@Macylou82 I'm sorry, macy
@Macylou82so, gaining weight frustrates you even when you're not eating much?
@bloom006 Don't be sorry im a broken mess. Yea I dunno why but part of my sick mind thinks its best if my ribs show and feels guilty when I look at myself in the mirror, but the other part of my mind is happy that im gaining weight and that I have the perfect body, not too skinny but not too fat. I *** hate it, why am I so *** broken
@Macylou82 don't beat yourself up macy it's not your fault that you got broken but im sure you're trying your best im sure youll get better soon dw
@bloom006 I don't think getting better is possible for me tbh
@Macylou82 but its give & take u know
@Macylou82btw, new pfp it looks nice
@bloom006 Aw thx, yea ppl were getting me and someone mixed up so I changed mine so it would be easier
@Macylou82oh
@Macylou82 im thinking about changing mine too
@bloom006 Ooh im excited to see what u choose for your new one
@Macylou82Im gonna have to go now but i want you to know that helping ppl being kind to them is really really good but just cuz other ppl might have bigger problems than yours it doesnt mean that u should hold your pains in. If u feel like talking, u can use this space u wont be burdening me
@bloom006 Ur amazing fr, I'll survive tho. Dw about broken me, I prob deserve all this pain anyways xd.
@Macylou82 Love the new pfp, and I dunno if u celebrate or not but ima say this anyway lol. Happy holidays, hope they are filled with love and joy.
@Macylou82 Tysm macy🥰, for loving my new pfp and wishing me happy holidays. I dont celebrate them but its okay. I hope your holiday also goes well too, you get to have fun and you feel nothing but happiness and always be blessed with all the good things in the world💗
@Macylou82Im not amazing macy. Im a really bad person and in my case, im not exactly broken. Im more twisted than broken. You think im amazing cuz you're very kind but im not. im not good, not even close to it atm and im not trying to sound polite or anything. Im sorry.
@bloom006 Why do ppl think im so nice bro thats such bs. Don't be sorry tho, im sorry that your feeling like that, bc its not true, i mean maybe you think it is but i sure as *** don't. You're amazing to me, and you're always there for me. ily bloom so much. Don't let those mean thoughts win.
@Macylou82hey, just wanted to let u know that I turned 18 today😭
@bloom006 Happy happy birthday my friend, I hope your day is as amazing as you. I'm going to miss you so much on the teenie side but you have will new adventures on the oldie side, maybe you will come back as an atl even.
@Macylou82 Thanks so much, macy🥰 I'll miss you too. I'll try to come back as an atl, but that'll probably take years. But I hope life treats you gently & kindly💗
@Macylou82 But anyways. how are you? have you eaten anything in the past few days?
@bloom006 I'm not really great but that's just life. Yea I've eaten. How about you? How was your birthday? Or just how are you in general? Also loving the new pfp
@Macylou82 Wanna share what's wrong?
@bloom006 No it's fine, thx tho fr.
@Macylou82 Glad to hear that you've eaten💗
@Macylou82 My birthday went really really well, my family was very nice to me, gave me some good surprises (even though I didn't want some of those things but its okay) Makes me wish everyday was my birthday lol I'm neutral cuz I messed something up but dw I got help and kind of dealt with it should be fine
@bloom006 I'm so glad to hear it went well
@Macylou82 hey, how's life treating you? Have you been eating?
@bloom006 Not well tbh, almost two ppl in my family could have died and the new yr just started xd. Wbu? How's the adult life treating you?
@Macylou82 omg im so sorry i hope they are okay now
@Macylou82 Well, other than feeling sorta confused, my life is okay, almost the same. I just suck at being an adult but thats not surprising lol
@bloom006 And yea I have eaten lol
@Macylou82 really? You have idea how happy i am to hear that😊, especially since life has been pretty harsh to you lately. Im sooooo proud of you. I hope you're proud of yourself as well💗💗
@bloom006 You're too kind fr. How has life been treating you?
@Macylou82 Thanks💗 but thinking of me as a kind person is an act of kindness in itself yk
@Macylou82 Well, kind of the same as before dw🙃
@bloom006 I don't know if that's good or not, but if u wanna talk I'm here. Hugs at least
@Macylou82 dw its not in a bad way atm
@Macylou82 thanks tho🥰
@Macylou82 Hugssss🫂🫂
@Macylou82 hey, i just checked your profile and what's going on, bro? why are you talking about taking the easy way out? what happened?
@bloom006 I'm just over the edge at this point. I'm sorry please don't be mad but I don't think I can fight anymore it's too much now. Ily so much tho remember that.
@Macylou82 I'm really sorry for replying so late🙏My exams are going on sorryyy
@bloom006 Your fine dw
@Macylou82 Macy, you need to be safe and take steps to be kinder to yourself and get support. I'm sure each and every one of your friends here, me included is more than willing to listen to you and support as much as we can. Please know that you're not alone & I love you too
@bloom006 Thx fr, but tbh I don't want to be safe anymore. I know that u and all my friends wouldn't mind listening but what's the point? It doesn't get rid of the pain, maybe it makes me feel better for a lil but that won't last long either. The best solution I feel is to just go through, and I know that if one more bad thing happens that I can't hold on bc I am barely hanging on right now and I'm just so tired.
@Macylou82 And tbh there is nothing keeping me here anymore either. I'm just a horrible worthless, selfish, disapointment who no one loves or cares about.
@Macylou82 hey, I'm very very very sorry for not checking on you sooner. How are you? Is life treating you well?
@bloom006 Its alr, don't feel like u gotta check in on me too I understand if u don't wanna talk anymore cause im just a broken mess lol. I'm the same if not worse. Life will always suck Its alr ill hopefully leave soon anyway. Hru tho? Exams go good?
@bloom006 I'm sorry I sound like a insensitive ***. I just don't want you to feel forced to check in on me and I honestly wouldn't blame you if you left me cause I'm used to it atp lol. I should have worded it better tho I'm sorry. God I'm acc such a ***.
@Macylou82 macy, I apologise for the really late response, I'm extremely sorry. Things haven't been going great & i'm not really good at talking or staying connected in general. plus, you were right, it's hard to stay connected on forums.
Now, when I first disappeared, it was because the topic was triggering for me at that time, i should've given you a warning tho, god i'm so stupid & pathetic. i would never not wanna talk to you cuz you're broken, it's cuz of my own messiness. ik you won't agree with it, idk what you're like irl but here, you've been nothing but kind & supportive to me & all your friends & that means a lot. today's surprisingly a good day for me, after a long time, that's kind of why i'm able to respond. Hope this catches you on a happy day, & if not, you can share here, i'm sorry to say that i might not be able to respond regularly but you can use this thread as a space to dump stress if you like.
@bloom126 Its alr fr I get it. U didn't have to give me a warning as long as I checked your profile and saw your streak I knew you were alive and that was enough. I've lost enough ppl recently, I didn't want to lose you too. You're right I don't agree, and I honestly haven't been kind or anything. Not recently at least. If you came back to the teen side you would see that well im not really there anymore. I really only lurk when im able to be on and I don't really support ppl anymore either. Im glad today, or yesterday idk your time, was a good day its nice to have a little break from the pain, numbness all of that. Happy days don't exist for me and thats whatever atp. And its fr ok I get it I do. You can always vent here if you want and I will respond as quickly as I can. Sorry this is really rushed so the response sucks tho my responses usually do. Im prob not gonna burden you will all thats going on in my life rn but I will say this as a lil update. My eating is worse rn and im not going days cause mother yells at me but its still not great so yea. Ily pls ss and tc fr I miss you sm hugs if alr. If I stop responding im not here anymore so yay hope for that, I am. Im proud of you for holding on tho ik its hard and sometimes feels impossible but you are so strong for staying. Alr I do have to shut up now but yea u get my point. Tc my friend ily fr
@Macylou82 I'm really sorry, macy