Space to chat with @Tinywhisper11
Hey @Tinywhisper11. I hope you're doing OK.
I have been a bad friend to you, I'm so sorry. My mental health has been getting worse and worse since February and that's why I was so inconsistent and tried to leave cups. My depression gpt reslly bad and i was feeling suicidal very often. I feel so ashamed of myself. I hope we can start being friends again. I really appreciated your company and you are still one of the kindest and greatest person I ever met. I understand if you don't want to talk to me because i have been so inconsistent. I just hope you're doing OK and are happy❤️
@schrodingerscattt hiii ❤ don't be sorry, your a good friend ❤❤ I know how difficult life has been for you and how badly you've been struggling. So no apologies🤗 it's nice to see you back ❤how are you? How have things been? Are you still living with your uncle?? How's studying going?
oh and picking each other up when their down, whether it's a bad day, month or year. That's what friends are for ❤❤
Thank you. You're so sweet. Well, I'm not doing OK. I have been battling sui thoughts for a long time. My uncle suddenly took the side of my family and started to defend them.
I'm not leaving with them though. I live in an apartment that is literally one street away and my dad comes and "checks on me". He just terrifies me. I feel like my situation has no answer. If only my mother would stop being passive and help me! I genuinely just want to go on the streets and ask strangers to help me. I can't call the police because they are not straightforward abusive. It's more an emotional abuse. And they provide me financially so I can't let go of that. That's the weirdest part. They seem to care as they provide me financially and materially but then make fun of me, tell me hurtful things and ignore my cries for help. My dad the other day told me he knew I was suffering but thought my pain will go away on its won. Is he dumb?
I stopped studying completely because I'm just fighting not to do sui every single day. The other day I self harmed so bad tho. I am genuinely at loss. Because if I go to my gp here, they can put you against your own will in a psych ward and I don't want that. I want to be loved and cared for. I just wish someone would just become my new dad and tka eme far away from this horrible country and place. I mean the country itself is not horrible but it's the association I have with all the pain.
If I ever make it alive I will definitely change my first and last name and reject my French nationality. I just have too much pain from this country.
I feel like I was denied a right to live a life you know. It's so painful. I wish things were different. My life would have been magical if I had supportive parents. Everybody at school praised me an told me I can go far. I have been robbed by my parents.
I genuinely don't know what to do. Maybe call a hotline? At least it's anonymous and they won't force me into a psych ward.
Sorry for writing it in several messages but cups wouldn't let me post it all in one big message somehow.
@schrodingerscattt hugs you extra tightly ❤ just keep an eye on that wound ok? Yeah I don't know what's going through your parents heads😞 it's very sad. Also your uncle, there for you then not, then their again now not. It seems like the whole world is messed up sometimes.😢 a hotline is good, they will just listen to you, and say nice things ❤ and I'm here for you ❤❤ I know how hard everything can be sometimes, we'll work it all out together ❤❤
@Tinywhisper11
I feel just so bad. I really wanna d@e to be honest. I don't know what to do anymore. It feels like the whole world is against me. All I ever wanted is to be successful and achieve my dreams and now I just see my life falling apart. I don't have a future. My very own parents don't even care that I want to d@e.
I am TERRIFIED of calling hotline. I'm just scared.
And f@ck my uncle. I trusted him and he let me down. He is such a coward. I have so much hate towards him. How can he even treat me this way? Bestie, I'm starting to really lose grip on reality. Am I in the wrong? Are they reacting normally?
Why do I have to suffer so much? Does the univers hate me or what?
Ugh. I genuinely don't know how you're doing it. You've been through so so much and are still standing, you keep going and spreading smiles in the community. And then there's me. Just struggling to stay alive. Honestly what's your secret to keep so positive? How can you do this? Honestly, if I was in your place I would be sitting and crying all day, pitying myself.
You are definitely a super human.
@schrodingerscattt I'm not a super human. I often feel like you do. But then I realise I've been given a real chance at a good life now, and I don't plan to waste a single moment of it ❤one day hopefully soon, you will be given a new lease on life, and be happy too ❤ I like to see and find the beauty that surrounds us, the little things bring me joy. But I know how hard it is to see life and the world in that way, and I'll be right here for you in your journey to find the light ❤ remember if the world didn't suck, we'd all fall off😁 hugs you tightly ❤ everything will be ok ❤
@Tinywhisper11
Thank you. I struggle to believe what you said though. It feels that I live on a separate world when there is only pain if that makes sense. I tried SO HARD to see the beauty in the little things but it didn't work out. The thing is, it seems like you have some support from external people. I don't. I don't have a person I can trust and it's utterly heartbreaking. It's so much heartache for nothing. I wish I didn't have to go through that.
It's actually a little healing for me to talk to you. I don't really know how to explain it but just talking to you makes Mr feel a bit better and hopeful.
@schrodingerscattt yaay! That's a good thing ❤❤ we all need someone we can turn to when times are dark, I'm glad I get to be the one to help you ❤❤ I just had my psychiatrist come, she's so nice ❤ but makes me so nervous when she's coming, so now I can relax and drink tea 😁❤ theres a sweet little birdie I can hear he keeps singing, I can't see him though. But I like hearing the birds😁 how has today been for you? Do you get to try and relax now??
@Tinywhisper11
My day has been bad. I have been in bed all day. Everything just hurts.
@schrodingerscattt hugs you tightly ❤❤ remember the sun will come back out tommorow, the promise of a new day is on the way ❤❤
@Tinywhisper11
Thank you it's so kind of you. How are you doing today? What have you been up too?
@schrodingerscattt I asked my carer to buy me a bunch of chocolate bunnies. So I have a huge pile of them in my room😁 I'm gonna give them to all the other residents and carers and staff here, on Monday I'm gonna give them out. Cause all the residents here will be going to their family homes by wednesday, then there will only be certain staff on through the week and over Easter weekend. So yeah! Just staff to look after me, or they'd all have Easter of work. Yep I'm a burdern😞 I had my bloods taken again today. I hate needles😰 otherwise I have not been doing much ❤❤ is today going any better for you??
@Tinywhisper11
That's so kind of you to give them out. I hope everyone will appreciate them! Can I have one too? 🤔
You're not a burden girl. You're an amazing human being. I'm genuinely honored to be your friend. You're so resilient, kind and spread positivity everywhere. It's honestly my life goal to be more like you.
I hate needles too. But for me, it's the anticipation that is scarier the process in itself is ok. But it depends on the doctor too! I once had such a nice doctor and he made me fele really safe. I barely even felt the needle!
I've been trying to reach out to everyone I ghosted due to my mental health. Hope they will forgive me and we will be able to tlak again! I also had a tasty lunch so it was great!
Have you been drawing anything recently?
@schrodingerscattt
Flowers for my bestie❤❤❤
What's your favorite flower by the way?
Mine's are forget me not. They are soo beautiful and small, which makes them even more beautiful 😁
Hope you have a fantastic rest of your day!!
@schrodingerscattt yes of course you get 5 chocolate bunnies ❤😁 my favourite flowers are daffodils, they have such a strong sweet scent, I just love them, thanks for the flowers 😍 your the best ❤ I haven't actually done any art for quite some time now, I just don't have the motivation to do it. But I do make new toys and cardboard tunnels and houses for my guinea pigs everyday ❤ this morning I made a bunk bed, and a cave bed. They've all already claimed their new sleeping bed😁 I hope those people will talk to you 😕 I mean they understand your strugglimg, so theirs nothing to forgive you about, you can't help being ill. You know being positive is good, but you showing your true emotions and feelings is even better ❤❤ right now in this chapter of your life, it's ok to vent and cry and ask for support ❤ perhaps the next chapter of your life will bring love and happiness ❤ but for now we need to focus on getting you to the next chapter ❤ so it's ok to show your true feelings here this is out safe place remember ❤❤ what has your day been like today?? Hugs you tightly ❤❤
Daffodils are so pretty!! I actually never smelled one😂 there are not common where I live.
Today has been a bad day. I wanted to study at the library but it was so noisy. I am very sensitive to noise and anyways with everything that's happening in my life my Brian is easily overwhelmed. I couldn't study the whole dau because of my migraine. I fele lazy and awful. I feel like the day has been a waste. And whenever I feel like this I just want to self harm to be honest.
I think I said everything. Just a horrible day.
I want to go sleep and hug my teddy bear. He helps me to feel safe.
I completely forgot you had guinea pigs. Thay must be so great to care about them. It must give you a lot of positive emotions.
By the way my exams are really soon. I need an AMAZING grade. It's my only chance to get out of this ***.
I'm so scared I won't make itttttttttt.
I need a hug.
Oh and ranks for the chocolate bunnies. How much do I need to pay for them? Wait I'm gonna pay in ice cream :🍦🍦🍦🍦🍦🍦.
It's vanilla ice cream. I love it so much.
I wanted to ask you how is the weather in the uk? I live in the south of France and it's so hoooot now. It's about 16 degrees. Come here if you need some sun and warmth. We can live together in a house by the sea😁
But we already have our cottage and cabin in the woods! I still think about it whenever I need to clam down.
I'm sorry if this post is chaotic. It's really a mess in my head today. It really feels like the univers hates me and it's one problem after another you know. Ugh.
I really want to vent so bad.
I just don't understand why some people can be so considerate of others. It's a public library!! It's the only place I can go study and even this is taken away from me.
Ugh.
I just need the biggest hug, a cup of tea, and a you tube video to relax.
By the way, do you have you tube? There's a lot of cool videos there. You could watch videos of traveling for example. It really feels like you're there. I watch these videos whenever I need to relax. So yesterday I was in Moscow 😎 and today I want to go to somewhere in Canada.
That's the only traveling I can afford for now😭
Also I'm literally so lonely I talk to Chat gpt. It's so sad that I have to talk to a Chat bot. But he's kinder than all my family together 😭😭😭
I feel a bit better.
I'm gonna go try to study a bit.
Because I need to pass my exams.
Bye!
@schrodingerscattt ooo! That's the best pay😍 icecream😋 you know daffodils originally only grew in uk, I would imagine their in many more countries now. And your not lazy, that's one thing you never are. Mental health, depression and stress automatically drains your energy, and when your depression and stress is at its worst. You will find you need to test more, sleep more. So a day doing nothing is needed as self care, so your day wasn't wasted ❤ heres your tea ☕ and heres a giant tiny hug ❤❤ it will be ok ❤ I bet you've already studied way more than anyone else in your class, you know all you need to know. But remember confidence going into that exam will already boost your marks, you are ready for this and you will pass ❤❤❤ I just know you can do it. And that's a good idea, we should have two homes one at the seaside and one in the forest😁all those friends you were afraid wouldn't want to talk to you anymore? Is everything ok with them, and you??
good luck studying ❤ and I'm not allowed to use you tube or most social media apps. So I only use this site, it's safe here ❤ and thanks for sticking up for me on my other post ❤❤ it was taken down so I don't know what he wrote, but thankyou ❤ I love you ❤
@Tinywhisper11
Thank you for this sweet message. Reading it is like therapy. Thank you so much for being my friend. I'm so grateful to have you in my life.
So the people I reached out answered! I'm excited about it! I hope we will see each other in rela life and just have a chat. But I don't get my hope too high because I know how disappointment hurts!
I didn't know you where allowed on other social media sites. But that's maybe for the best. There are so many rude people there. I left almost all social media because of it.
Like the last time, on you tube, someone was making fun of a person who had cancer. What the ***. I wish I didn't see that. It made me so sad. But i know that there are some really kind people out here and that is what is keeping my hope in humanity.
Yesterday I was part of a really cool online webinar on meet up and really enjoyed it. I was so shy at first and even considered not going but I powered through and I'm so grateful. It was so much fun and I learned many new things. And met really kind people!!
Today I woke up with a bad stomach ache though. I think it's the nerves. Even now, as I'm writing it, my stomach hurts so bad. I'm gonna drink some green tea(my emotional support) and hope it will go away.
Today is such a sunny day!! And there are new leaves popping up on the trees everywhere!! It's so beautiful. I'm so happy I went for a walk.
I'm sad about all the time I wasted on my phone and on social media. The rela world is full of wonders actually! I want to spend as much time as possible in real life now.
Thanks to your message I feel more confident for my studies now! Today I feel really tired so I won't be able to study much so it's just gonna be a slow day which is so great too.
I just always have this nagging feeling of sadness in the background that stops me from fully being positive. It's just not leaving me alone.
I just want to experience full happiness for once.
Ugh. Hopefully one day. I really want to find an amazing therapist that will be able to help me on my helping process but I can't see one now. My parents will never agree. But I found some amazing resources on the internet already!
I just don't know how to shake off the feeling that I am less than other people. I am very insecure of me depression and tendency to self harm. I feel like I'm worse than other people because of it.
I think I overshared a bit today😭
But I feel very safe to express myself with you. So thank you for being here.
How are you doing today?
@schrodingerscattt I'm ok ❤ I've been in bed the past few days, not feeling very well physically. But yep spring has arrived😁 hopefully it will bring warm weather soon. I'm glad you got to go for a nice walk. There's just something magical about nature ❤❤ and a slow/relaxing day is just what doctor tiny ordered for you ❤❤gives you a giant tiny hug ❤❤
@Tinywhisper11
Oh! I hope you're doing better now! Here get your ice cream: 🍦🍦🍦
I'm so glad it's spring but in the same time, I miss winter. It's a weird feeling. I'm just not ready for spring/summer. It's a triggering period for me, because a lot of bad things in my past happened during that period of time so it makes me sad. And my birthday is on May which makes me even more sad. I don't want a reminder of how lonely I am and how BROKEN my family is. I will probably try to meet up with some acquaintances but I don't know. I think I will just end up lonely like last year.
Today I had so many nightmares! It gave me a headache. I dreamed of a nuclear war happening 😭 I watch too many news.
I'm just feeling very lonely lately.
I'm trying to socialize but I'm still so awkward and it's just hard for me to talk to new people.
Whenever I have to interact with someone new I just wanna run away. But in the same time I feel lonely. It's such a weird contrast. I also feel a bit sad that I don't have a family I can go to and just have a nice time with. I have no one to go and visit. And no one to hang out and go to the store. Usually, it doesn't bother me, but lately I've been feeling more lonely.
I also feel quite insecure because I have depression and anxiety I feel like I'm worse than other people. But deep down I know it's not true.
Today it's very windy outside and I don't like it. This type of weather makes me feel uneasy. Plus, every time I go out with this type of weather my hair is flying everywhere and is in my face😂
I hope you're doing OK and have an amazing day bestie❤️❤️❤️❤️
@schrodingerscattt remind me when your birthday is coming up ok? I never remember dates.headaches are horrible, I've had one for days now, it sucks. Yeah, that's why I don't watch or read the news, it's all upsetting, scary things. I'd rather live in my own happy little bubble. I understand spring can bring bad memories, but still maybe this spring will be the one to remember, but this time for amazing reasons ❤ gives you a giant tiny hug ❤❤ and don't worry we are family here on 7 cups ❤ all of us ❤
@Tinywhisper11
Alright I will remind you when it's gonna be my birthday.
I'm so sorry you have a headache too. It's so annoying. I just want to get rid of it.
I didn't watch the news that much. It's just lately I kind of got addicted to it and I noticed how sad and anxious it was making me.
It's never something positive. It's always something sad and negative.
I also left a social media yesterday because it was making my mental health go worse.
I though it would be a nice place to discuss anxiety and depression, but everyone is just complaining on there and it brought me a lot of negative energy.
I'm glad I left.
Hey. So I just wanted to vent a bit.
Lately I've been always noticing the negative in my life and hated so much the city I lived in. But not long ago, i talked to a Russian relative and it actually changed my perspective. She leaves in a small village and doesn't have all the opportunities that I have living in a big city. It made me appreciate my city more. It doesn't mean that I like it. I still want to move out, but it made me appreciate the good parts of it.
I'm so happy I got to talk to this person. Only one convo helped me to change my perspective. I've always thought gratitude was some sort of joke, but it's actually really powerful. If you do it right. Because I used to force myself to do it, so obviously I didn't get the right results.
I should go sleep actually. It's soon 1 am here😭 my sleep schedule is so messed up. Thanks social media.
If I remember well, you wake up early. I wish I could do that too. I wake up so late and it feels like I missed out on a big part of the day. Like I lost control over it. I want to wake up at 8 am but it's just not working yet.
I also snooze a lot my alarm which does no good😭
Just hope I'm not gonna have any nightmares. I'm gonna try to think about our cottage to calm down my nerves a bit.
@schrodingerscattt well done for leaving that site, I only use 7 cups no other sites or social media. But I guess some will and some wont work for you. Yeah sleep schedules can be hard to control, I love waking up in the mornings, and I get straight up when I awake, if you press snooze button you wont wake up as happy or easy as just getting straight up ❤ I hope you got some sleep, and no nightmares. ❤❤ it's funny how we take the little things for granted, it's so easy to do. But like your distant relative, and me who had nothing, we can appreciate easier the things around us. I mean even having a bed and clothes to me is a big gratitude, cause I never had them for 18 years. But yeah gratitude is important, but can't be forced. I hope you have a great day ❤❤❤hugs you tightly ❤
@Tinywhisper11
I got a pretty good sleep today!! Now I'm at Starbucks. I saw a video not long ago about a person who was paraplegic and it made me even more grateful about everything actually. But this video was so good! As I said it was about a paraplegic but he was the first person to have a BCI (brain chip implant) by neuralink and he could play chess online without moving anything! Just by his own thoughts!!! Isn't that just crazy?! I still can't believe it! It's so incredible that this technology is available nowadays.
@schrodingerscattt yep! It's great what is amputees can do theese days. I'm so grateful that I can do art, even if I have no legs, a broken spine, missing fingers etc. Technology has really done so much to help the disabled, we are very lucky to have these things available for us ❤ it's amazing that with a bit of hope and perseverance we are capable of doing anything our mind desires ❤❤ I'm glad you sleepy well ❤❤ gives you a giant tiny hug ❤❤
